To ask for your best would you rather? (game)

[Beautifulblue]

Playing with the other half! Ran out of ideas! 💡 what's your best 'would you rather?'
E.g. Would you rather eat a dog poo or slap your nan? 😂 One of oh's clangers... 🤦🏼‍♀️

In times of stress, I often run through the options in my mind between A. Giving birth again, B. Having a tooth extracted & C. Public speaking.... whatever D is, I can cope with it after this... sorry I guess you were looking for more amusing options!

Would you rather sweat mayonnaise or have olive oil for saliva?

Would you rather change gender every time you sneezed, or never be able to tell the difference between babies and muffins?

Would you rather have sex with your parents watching, or watch your parents have sex?

Would you rather have sex with Donald Trump but nobody knows, or not have sex with Trump but everyone things you did?

Would you rather glitter rained down every time you farted, or a foghorn went off every time you sneezed?

Would you rather have clean clothes every day but never be allowed to shower or be allowed to shower but wear the same clothes every day?

Have tiny penises for fingers or vaginas for ears?

Would you rather wear clothes knitted from sweaty tramp pubes or drink a half pint of snot?

Go to jail for 4 months or spend the same time looking after newborn twins again. No contest - I used to daydream about getting arrested.

This reminds me of a joke my 10yo ds told me the other day:

A not particularly nice man dies and goes to hell. He is met by the devil who says "welcome to hell, you must now decide which of my 3 rooms of pain you wish to spend all eternity in".
The man follows the devil into the 1st room. In it men and women are being stretched on racks whilst having their feet whipped with metal coat hangers by little gargoyle-like creatures. "So that's room one" says the devil, "now onto room two". In room two all the people are hung upside down by their toes whilst being branded on their bodies with a red-hot poker by the gargoyles. "Oo-er, I don't much like the look of this" says the man. "Well, perhaps you'll prefer room 3" says the devil.
They enter room three. There are large barrels all over filled with men and women, who are being served tea and biscuits by the little gargoyles. A rather nasty smell fills the air.."human excrement!" the devil says. The man ponders.."well, it don't smell too nice - but I'd say this one's probably the best of a bad lot - i choose this room!"
"Very good, very good" says the devil and the gargoyles help the man into his barrel of shit.
The devil suddenly claps his hands and shouts "ok people, tea break over - back onto your heads"....

Holy shit @Oysterbabe

Would you rather hear 'never gonna give you up' by rick astley every minute of everyday for the rest of your life OR take one hard slap to the face first thing every morning until the day you die?

Would you rather have a tattoo of a cock on your face OR have an actual cock as a tail? Caveat - both are non removable!

Cup of cold sick OR cup of hot piss?

Would you rather

Bark like a dog or miaow like a car for the rest of your life?

Have to shout everything or whisper everything?

Have one finger chopped off without anaesthetic or two fingers chopped off with anaesthetic?