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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Found out I’ve been the OW in past

3 replies

usingadifferentname · 27/07/2018 20:42

For context, I’m happily married, been with my husband for 8 years and we have children, I don’t intend on doing anything about this, posting to see if anyone has had a similar experience to be honest.

About 10 years ago, I was single and started seeing someone. We dated on and off over the course of a year. I liked him, but he didn’t seem to want to commit so I stopped things. Today, I bumped into him in the supermarket, he approached me, asked how I was etc. He told me about his job but said he moved abroad for a few years not long after we stopped seeing each other. I said nice to see you etc, and then left to get on with my day.

This evening, out of curiosity I looked him up on social media. Turns out that when we were ‘dating’ he was actually engaged and due to become a father in a matter of months. He never moved abroad, it’s evident from what’s on there. I don’t understand why he felt the need to lie about that. I don’t intend to do anything about this but I actually feel horrible realising I’ve been the ‘other woman’ or indeed, one of several.

Cheating is something I am so against, so I guess I feel a little bit gutted to realise that I’ve essentially done it to someone else. I know that I’ll put it out of my head and it’s not something I would ever intend on telling anyone as it was so long ago.

AIBU to feel strange though?

OP posts:
Stepmum3 · 27/07/2018 21:25

I think it’s uunderstandable to feel
Odd. Sounds like you had a lucky escape. I wonder how many other women there have been.

Xx

BlueThesaurusRex · 27/07/2018 21:30

The positive you can take is that you didn’t know you were the OW so you don’t have any guilt to carry.

LoveInTokyo · 27/07/2018 21:35

You didn't know, so it's not on you.

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