Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

cant take it anymore

19 replies

Butterflykissess · 27/07/2018 18:36

Just been viciously verbally abused on the bus just now by a woman because of my autistic daughter. Ive had enough of my life is tobhard i cant do it anymore! I went shopping today and waited atleast half an hour for a bus home, I get on this bus as its pouring with rain even seeing that its packed. I had my sleeping baby in my arms and not one person offered me a seat during the 20 minute bus. journey. I go to get off and daughter who was sitting in the only available seat at the back got anxious as the stop approached which she always does. She tried to push past a woman who then started shouting at her, I told her to stop and said she has autism. Well the woman went absoulety mad at me. Screaming at me telling me no yhe wonder my child has "mental health issues" with a mum like apparently I was standing on the bus thinking im nice, Wtf!! I was holding a sleeping baby. for 20 minutes. I just give up I cant take it anymore this happens so often. I have no one.

OP posts:

EdinaMonsoon · 27/07/2018 18:50

OP I'm sorry to hear about your awful experience. Please understand that it isn't you but the people around you who didn't offer a seat, and the ignorant woman who clearly knows sweet FA about special needs/autism or even just children.

How old is your daughter? Aside from this crappy situation, did anything positive (however small) happen today? Have you thought about support from your local NAS group?

My eldest DS is 18 and is also on the spectrum. I have come close to totally losing my shit at people's ignorance and I fear it will only become worse for him now that he is an adult.

mimibunz · 27/07/2018 18:54

She was nasty to shout at a child! You are fine, OP! Can you find a support group for parents of autistic children? I guarantee you are not the only one being treated so abominably.

DesignStatement · 27/07/2018 18:55

You've clearly had the misfortune to meet a load of ignorant morons today. Cant believe nobody gave you a seat when you are holding a baby! As for the yelling woman ~ she has clearly got problems of her own.
Take heart, most people are not like these ignorant eejits.

TillyMint81 · 27/07/2018 19:03

Nooo. This is not you this is her. This says far more about about her than it does about you and your parenting skills. She's obviously ignorant of autism and seems to lack social skills herself.
Please look into local support groups for yourself and your daughter. Xx

Original poster

Butterflykissess · 27/07/2018 19:03

I just cant take it anymore! I have no support what so ever. Oh I shouldnt have had more kids when I have one with "mental health issues" forgot that little gem that came out of the womans mouth. Just dont want to be a mum anymore. I hate my life.

Daughter is 7.

OP posts:

TillyMint81 · 27/07/2018 20:05

Have you spoken to anyone about how you feel? There's probably an autism board on here where people would be able to support you properly. Sending you huge amounts of love and strength z

nellieellie · 27/07/2018 20:09

Oh lovely! People can be shite! You are a good mum. Look up autism services in your area, but that woman probably had issues of her own. Don’t let her reflect who you are. So sorry you had to go through this. Find help. No one can take all this alone. Xx

ScreamingValenta · 27/07/2018 20:11

No advice, but for you and your DD.

EdinaMonsoon · 27/07/2018 20:13

Do you really mean that you don’t want to be a mum anymore? Or, if you had support to combat the loneliness & stress would it be ok to carry on being a mum? Have you talked to your GP or health visitor?

For her to speak that way in front of a 7yo is disgusting.

Try the Special Needs boards on here OP & contact the National Autistic Society for support in your area. I’ve called their helpline & sobbed down the phone. They were fantastically supportive.

LakieLady · 27/07/2018 20:15

Oh you poor thing! That woman was a vile, ignorant old bat, but most people aren't like that. And please try and get some support. I'm sure there will be plenty of advice on here about organisations that can help.

My friend has 3 sons, 2 of whom have ASDs. I've seen how tough it is, and my heart goes out to you.

imlateagain · 27/07/2018 20:22

What an awful person! Just remind yourself she must have a truly awful life if she goes round speaking to people - children - like that. I'm sorry you're having a hard time, for you. I wish I could give you some in RL.

Mrsbclinton · 27/07/2018 20:23

I cant believe that someone could be so cruel & nasty to you and you little girl. Ignore her & her comments.

Please reach out and get some support, it wont always be this hard.

Original poster

Butterflykissess · 27/07/2018 20:43

Just had enough of being a mum. I came home and cried for about an hour an a half. This isnt the first time ive been cerbally abused by strangers over my dds behaviour. I dont blame her but its very hard. and it seems there is a stigma to autism as it isnt a mental health issue dont know why she kept screaming that. I have no friends, minimal family and im single parent. its just tough dont know how to carry on.

OP posts:

DesignStatement · 27/07/2018 20:47

OP - talk to your health care centre for help centres in your area. Look on autism help websites.
Don't give the moronic behaviour of strangers a second thought - concentrate on yourself and your families needs. Do rear h over the weekend, get appointment made for Monday.

Apehouse · 27/07/2018 20:51

It will get better. I had this with my son for years. Some of his classmates’ parents tried to pressure me to move him out of mainstream school. Glad that I refused but they hated me for it. So I just had to get used to being hated ;). OP, pick yourself up and remember that you are doing nothing wrong, that what ignorant people think doesn’t matter, and that it will get better with time.

IamaBluebird · 27/07/2018 20:57

I'm so sorry that you had to go through this today. There's no excuse to let someone stand holding their baby. As for the extremely rude woman, I hope she's ashamed of herself.

sunshinewithabitofdrizzle · 27/07/2018 21:00

Her behaviour says a lot about her and nothing about you. She's just an ignorant witch and you didn't deserve it. I have no advice for you but I hope you can get some help soon as you sound exhausted by it all.

greencatbluecat · 27/07/2018 21:16

Oh that's horrible. Something similar happened to me while waiting for a bus. Nasty old woman started telling me my DD definitly had ADHD. The only reason she told
Me this is because she was running around like a 4yo ..... but she was actually 4 but looked 6 or 7. I then saw the nasty old woman a few days later and this time, she was actually swearing at the poor bus driver for some incredibly minor misdemeanor.

Thinking about it, there was another psychotic old woman on my bus route too. She was once sitting on the seat behind the driver that faces into the aisle of the bus rather than forwards. I got on the bus with a big buggy and politely warned her to 'mind her toes'. She then angrily said to me 'if you touch me, there'll be what for!' . The bus driver was furious and said he was going to accidentally on purpose not pick her up next time he saw her.

The point is , there are some nasty people out there. Don't let these idiots get you down. You are doing nothing wrong. Stand tall and be proud. You are doing a good job. (And btw, most people are nice . The idiots are in the minority). Hope you feel better tomorrow

Cismyass · 27/07/2018 21:20

Can you prepare some stock answers OP, such 'Kindly mind your own business you rancid old turd' ?

Flip