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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be aghast - yes, aghast - at the huge amount of authoritarian advice people seem to need and expect with regard to children's footwear?

61 replies

pointydog · 30/05/2007 22:34

I had never really given school shoes (and the rest) a huge amount of thought and always assumed I and my children had freewill to choose whichever pair of shoes we wanted.

Too many people are overly-controlling re footwear.

Or else I'm being unreasonable.

OP posts:
gingernutlover · 31/05/2007 07:09

grrr

sorry know that was a bit of a rant but it makes me wonder how many people spend a lot of money on shoes when they dont need to, jsut cos the sales lady says they should - another example of parents being made to feel they cant make the best decision for theiur child

lizziemun · 31/05/2007 07:26

gingernutlover

I had the opposit in Clarks last week.

DD had her feet she has very narrow feet, measured and was told

"Right she an 8 1/2 D fitting"

"Ok" i said "what do you have in her size"

I never look beforehand as they never have the ones i like in her Size.

"We don't do shoes in a D fitting, we only start from an E fitting"

"Ok where can i buy her shoes from"

"don't know, we don't do them"

Very helpful i thought, it's a good job it's summer and she can wear cheap sandles (or her boots) when we go out.

Oenophile · 31/05/2007 07:47

Both my DDs lived in Clarks Doodles till they were too big for them and bare feet round the house. I expect I will now find a thread saying Doodles cause long term physical damage and their feet will be like crusty old rhino trotters when they are 40 but to hell with it, they looked so darn pretty!

heifer · 31/05/2007 08:05

As much as it kills me I have to defend Clarkes...

I have been in several times with DD (3.5) and been told at least 3 times that she doesn't need new ones yet... and to come back in a months time etc..

Right defending over, now I can whinge about lack of selection...

If you hate bright pink and don't want them to wear black just yet (plenty of years of having to wear black at school, from what I hear).. there is no much left...

I guess the service really does depend on the local store, but for me they have been good service, crap selection..

Now our Brabantia - great selection, no service!

chevre · 31/05/2007 08:09

lizzimum if you need a d fitting try startrite. blardy expensive but they do fit.

currantbunmum · 31/05/2007 08:23

We just don't bother with Clarks, they do just seem to want to sell you ANY shoes when you're in there. We take dd's to Russell and Bromley every 8 weeks or so to check their shoes still fit, they are happy to offer this service and don't try to flog a new pair each time.

Although we do seem to have 2 Imeldas in the making

fishie · 31/05/2007 08:31

do we all need special width fitting as adults? NO. we just buy shoes which FIT our feet.

it is such a bloody con, clarks have created a whole culture where we are told that children's feet must be width measured or they'll be crippled just so we are scared to go elsewhere.

MaMonkey · 31/05/2007 08:34

I don't like the Clarks shoe selection at all.

Mind you, my daughter only started walking a couple of months ago and still only really potters around our house and garden.

She has a couple of pairs of Mothercare's finest and a pair of fancy-dan, pain-in-the-arse to put on Converse All-Stars (they're pink with white spots though!).

I was traumatised as an older child as I went to a private school that listed the 4 acceptable styles of show and where to purchase them. Lord, but they were ugly.

So, when's she older my daughter will only wear mini-Manolos and mini-Choos. Natch.

3sEnough · 31/05/2007 08:37

Gingernutlover - clarks and start rite have a different measuring scale - 3 1/2 is about a 4 in clarks, although sometimes the difference is slightly bigger or smaller.

fishie · 31/05/2007 08:39

i went to independent shoe shop and got ds a pair of £45 lace ups, took five mins and they fitted for four months. bargainous and no queing for a nitwit with a tape measure.

fishie · 31/05/2007 08:41

oh and lizziemum, john lewis told us ds didn't need shoes yet (while he was running round shop at top speed). i later found that they didn't stock any in his size [hmmm]

ZacheryQuack · 31/05/2007 08:41

When I was at primary school (started 27 years ago, left 16 years ago) we were only allowed to wear black or brown shoes and they had to be "proper" shoes ie no sandals.

So I suppose I can't really get worked up about being told what shoes to wear as I've always been used to it (probably DH will get more worked up if/when DS and DD are directed towards shoes, but as I'll be the one buying them, I don't see too much of a problem).

MaMonkey · 31/05/2007 08:42

Actually, if anyone can tell me where I can buy nice baby shoes for walkers in a teeny-tiny size 3 they will earn my undying affection and a gold star.

Flame · 31/05/2007 08:43

£45 is bargainous???

Flame · 31/05/2007 08:46

Why is it such an issue to have uniform school shoes?

I don't understand the outrage - school uniform is school uniform, including the shoes. Black/brown pref leather shoes look nice & smart and coincides with the whole school uniform thing. It also helps guard against the stupid parents who think open toed heeled sandals are suitable for running around in playgrounds.

I remember falling over in sandals and not only having scraped knees but stubbed toes too - it makes more sense to have closed toes in school.

Nbg · 31/05/2007 08:46

Can I just say, when you get your childs feet measured at Clarks they should always tell you that the size the measure is just a guide.
What style of shoe and actually fitting them will determine the size and width.

Clarks shoe fitters have to go through alot of training to fit childrens shoes,

but
any problem you have or if you think that the shoes they are fitting arent right, you should always ask for a second opionion.

ProfYaffle · 31/05/2007 08:53

Start Rite do size 3.5 (I feel like I should be on commission). When dd1 was first walking I took her to Clarks, they measured her at 3.5 but didn't have anything in her size and told me that I'd never get shoes to fit her as she was too small and I'd have to get boots specially made. Went to SR and they gave me a choice of about 4 styles.

Nbg · 31/05/2007 08:55

I think Start Rite seem to specialise in smaller feet. More styles in narrow fittings and smaller sizes.

Where as Clarks seem to go with average sizes.

fishie · 31/05/2007 08:57

flame it was wondrous bargain for a 16-23mo (just worked out they lasted six months), my friend's ds had three pairs in that time. wish could get my shoe budget down to that cost per wear!

mamonkey it is very difficult, ds was in those daisy root things till his feet got a bit bigger, it was spring/summer too so not much rain. misdee may be able to help, i seem to remember she had a similar prob with dd3.

Flame · 31/05/2007 08:58

Ahhhhhhh, my DS's feet don't seem to be growing, I forget other people have to change shoes

fishie · 31/05/2007 08:59

hahha he's got crocs now hahaha.

PrettyCandles · 31/05/2007 09:07

My mum was very fussy and authoritarian with our shoes when my brother and I were little. Apart from my fallen arches (as a direct result of pregnancies) we both now have healthy, well-formed feet. My sister OTOH rebelled and insisted on fasion shoes from a very early age: she now has mis-shapen, painful feet, and regrets her actions.

bigmouthstrikesagain · 31/05/2007 09:08

I think well fitting shoes for developing feet are essential - if feet are going to be clad at all (I much prefer barefeet) then it should be with something that supports movement and allows for growth.

I remember hating my mum as a child for making me wear sensible shoes (I wanted to wear the patent leather kitten heels I had bought from the jumble sale) - but that is why it is a good thing she was in charge. I have large and wide feet and cheap shoes never fitted me - the worst part of my childhood was when dad was unemployed and we had clothing vouchers that could only be used in bhs - the shoes were awful and didn't fit very well but we had no option.

Buying good shoes for my equally wide footed dc's is a privilege I take very seriously. I think all uniforms are the devils work - but I wouldn't argue with a spec for good footwear life is too short.

SoupDragon · 31/05/2007 09:12

Adults don't need faffy fittings because the bones intheir feet have calcified. IIRC this does not happen until you reach about 18 years so children should wear propely fitted shoes, lenght and width or their feet will be damaged.

evenhope · 31/05/2007 09:17

fishie- I would take issue with your 8.31 post "do we all need special width fitting as adults? NO. we just buy shoes which FIT our feet." I need a wide shoe. My feet were wide as a child, and they are still wide. But normal shoe shops do not make wide shoes for adults and I struggle to find shoes that fit.

Given that a large number of children are a G or H fitting (judging by the difficulty in getting hold of said articles) why do they not continue to do these fittings into adult shoes? Even the so-called wide fitting some shops do isn't wide enough for me. Only shoes designed for very very old ladies are made wide enough.

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