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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to give poor appraisal feedback to a close colleague even though they would know it came from me?

14 replies

Thurlow · 27/07/2018 15:39

Honest dilemma.

Colleague is pretty rubbish at her job. Not dire at her main job but one of those stress, flappy, complaining people who makes everything seem twice as much hard work.

A smaller part of her job is doing a task that I manage for our team. She is shite at that. I've told our joint line manager several times and she agrees but does nothing. (I can't do much about it I manage it but don't manage the people).

Anyway, we have that anonymous feedback malarkey for our annual appraisals. She's asked me. If I'm honest, she'll know it comes from me because no one else in the firm would say she needs to improve at X. But we sit a few desks apart in a very small team so, awkward.

Which one is more U - to be polite, vague and not very constructive in my feedback, or brutally honest and endure the fall out?

(And just to be clear, there is NOTHING important about our job, so it really doesn't matter if she's good at it or not)

OP posts:
peachgreen · 27/07/2018 15:43

Feedback sandwich. Something nice, constructive criticism, something nice. Easy peasy.

greendale17 · 27/07/2018 15:45

I always say honesty is best. So I would be bruta

JagerPlease · 27/07/2018 16:49

I did this with my boss and tried to not be too specific. Turns out she could tell it was me anyway. Made for an awkward few weeks but actually things improved afterwards so I would say go for it! But as PP have said also look to include positives

BadPolicy · 27/07/2018 16:53

Be honest, constructive and kind. Say openly what she is not good at, and how she can make improvements, but also be clear about her strengths. There's no need to be brutal about it.

RainSim · 27/07/2018 16:57

I wouldn't write it in the appraisal but tell her nicely face to face and definitely sandwich between positive feedback

eightfacesofthemoon · 27/07/2018 17:02

If it just irritates you how she goes about it then let it go.
But if she is genuinely very bad at it, doesn’t get it done, screws up your work because of it etc etc then I would say something

Pengggwn · 27/07/2018 17:36

I would just say something positive and something constructive. Every time.

hazell42 · 27/07/2018 18:53

I think it depends on how your company treats appraisals. In my company it is a tick box exercise that changes nothing. I was honest about my line manager, as were my colleagues. The only thing that happened was that our boss got the hump with us for a month. If they put in an action plan as a result go for it. If not keep your mouth shut

Deliaskis · 27/07/2018 18:57

Can you provide feedback on the behaviour rather than the task? So eg. Don't say she needs to improve at x task (which she does for you only).... But identify why she's poor at it. Its it attention to detail...or problem solving, or interpersonal skills? Or whatever. Usually it's possible to feed back on what specifically makes them bad at a task, rather than the task itself.

Cherubfish · 27/07/2018 18:58

Honest but kind is the way to go. Strengths (even if you have to make them up!) and points to improve.

Semster · 27/07/2018 19:12

If you don't know about it you can't fix it.

I'd be honest and give her suggestions for improvement.

pinkcardi · 27/07/2018 19:15

I was once told that you shouldn't ever give feedback that you wouldn't give to the person face to face.

That really helped me frame it correctly. So 'Excellent ah X and would benefit from...' etc

The shit sandwich is your friend.

Make all criticism constructive so she can hopefully improve

Darkstar4855 · 27/07/2018 19:15

The polite thing would be to talk to her in person and give her a chance to improve before you give her formal bad feedback on her appraisal.

happychange · 27/07/2018 20:04

Tell her in person first for gods sake!

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