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AIBU?

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Partners 'secret' spending

1 reply

Beaudog · 27/07/2018 13:01

My DP and I jointly own a house. We have had a lot of work done on the house, some of it done by DP. As he is self employed, there has been an agreement that whilst he worked on the house ( and therefore not earning) I would cover the mortgage payments and all bills. He has not worked properly in the last 10 months and has hardly progressed on our house. He has his own house that he rents out , so has an income but fails to add to our joint bank account. I discovered last week that he is making withdrawals on his rent account - up to £1000 per month! AIBU to assume that this money is being spent on drugs??? He has admitted to using previously. He gambles online, and the account is linked to our joint account, so I on't think its that. When confronted, he denied it and said that he doesn't need to tell me what he spends his money on. AI also BU to disagree and that I do have a right to know? I've checked him out and transferred all the money in the joint account to my own.

OP posts:
thecatsthecats · 27/07/2018 13:05

Everyone has a right to privacy.

But I sure as hell wouldn't bother with a relationship that depended upon SECRECY to make it work.

My fiance tells me what he had for lunch every day FGS (I never ask, btw). Ask him why he feels so separate from you that something in his life that he devotes so much money to isn't something he'd want to share with you - whether it's a burden he wants to handle alone, or a hobby, or whatever.

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