To complain to neighbours about their son?

[blondeemily]

We bought our house 8 months ago. It's in a nice neighbourhood, reasonably quiet. Our next-door-neighbours are a "nice family". They smile and say hello, keep their house and garden nice. They have a son who lives at home who looks around 20 years old. He doesn't seem to work or go to college, but plays on his xbox/playstation a lot. He has his bedroom window (at the back of the house) open and, I'm not exaggerating, he shouts at the top of his voice! He's a big lad and it is so loud. They are Polish so a lot of the time I can't understand what he is shouting but sometimes he speaks in English and swears a lot. This morning I have repeatedly heard "ahhhh fuuuuuck!!!". It is really bad when you're out in the garden, so much so that we have found ourselves not really using it even in this weather. But you can also hear it from inside the house. It happens when his parents are home, but the volume gets even worse when they are out.
I am aware that I am not a particularly tolerant person, but even my partner who is extremely laid back is getting irritated by it. Would we be unfair to complain about this? Any advice on how we could go about it without causing bad feeling with our relatively new neighbours?

It would be very tricky. You could mention in a light and jokey way that he gets a bit over excited

It seems to be a thing that when they play games online with other people they act in a ridiculously over the top way and have to scream and shout and over emphasise everything. Seems that if you are into streaming this is the way to get more people to watch you (well, this is my opinion anyway). One of my children is into it all and I regularly threaten to turn the internet off if he keeps acting in such a ridiculous way (luckily nothing like your neighbour is doing though). The problem is heightened by the fact that he is likely wearing headphones and maybe doesn’t realise how loud he is being, also if you shout back he probably won’t hear you due to the headphones. I’m surprised his parents aren’t telling him to be quiet.

I’ve had to ban certain games on my sons Xbox because he gets so wound up by it that he does exactly this! It’s totally unacceptable behaviour in my opinion, hopefully I’ve nipped in the bud before he disturbed the neighbours but if they did come and complain I’d completely understand and I’d be making him apologise.

I was horrified to hear my 14 yo DS doing this, and how clearly it could be heard outside. He was "in the moment" so had no idea. Next time Xbox goes for a week and he knows this. Definitely mention it to the parents. Maybe record it so they can hear it.

If he looks to be about 20, you’d speak to him about it wouldn’t you? Just knock and ask

I know someone who did this and ended up with the police at their door because the neighbors thought he was beating his wife as he was shouting and banging so aggressively (wife was actually at work!)

I would only mention the swearing and put it into context of your kids hearing it (if you have any).

My ex NDNs had her mid 30s son living with them post his relationship breakdown. I was out searching the street one night because I thought there was an altercation going on, and it was the son on headphones playing games at 0100 in the morning, swearing like a trooper. I did point out how anti social this was.

Thanks all for the replies. I've just been out in the garden and recorded it as back up.
hmmwhatatodo i think you're right about the headphones. No chance of hearing me shout or knock on the door at the moment!
NoelHeadbands yes good point

is he that age though?or looks it

i have a 6 ft 13 y old that hit puberty early(developed physically and deep voice already) people think hes 17/18 and a 5ft 7 y old that people think hes 10/11

when i tell people their real ages they always look at me with mouths open

Are you my neighbour? My son does this and I constantly tell him off/turn off X box etc. My son has special needs which can make it a challenge. However my neighbours are very noisy too with washing machine on at 1am and DIY for months on end at silly hours so I lose some sympathy.

20-year-old male, no job, no education, sits in his boxers playing X-box all day... he's a cocklodger in the making.

YANBU of course, but my sympathies lie with his poor mother for having to put up with THAT.

tor8181 I don't know for sure his age, but he is definately past school age. Not that his age is particularly relevant really.
LovelyLemurs No I don't think so. The house is detached so I don't think a washing machine being on is going to bother them.
HolyPieter Yes but his mother should have some power to tell him to keep the bloody noise down!

And to add, we are not a noisy couple ourselves. We are yet to have children, and we rarely have friends or family over.

Bet its bloody fortnite

He's probably doing that thing where he's playing with other people all with mics and headphones, all screaming at each other over the Internet. They do seem to get very carried away. Would his window being shut stop you hearing it? That's a reasonable request, I think.

I was chatting with neighbours once and we heard their 10 Yr old quiet, shy, reclusive child suddenly scream 'DIE DIE DIE ARRGHH NOOOOOOOO!!!' his mum was mortified, I thought it was hilarious but only because it was only audible in the little side yard so really not disruptive, if it had been in my back garden it would have been different!

He's a grown up. Speak to him not them.

WeeDangerousSpike It is so loud that the window being shut wouldn't stop us from hearing it, but I'm sure would make it much more bearable!

Speak to him. Possible though unlikely he is unaware how much he can be heard.

And I'm going to take a tape measure and measure rooms and windows on Wednesday to get a price for flooring and to see about curtains and if some of the ones I have will fit.

Wrong thread!

My neighbours have so many grown up kids living in their house and doing nothing all day but smoke weed and play computer games that I’ve lost count of them. Any issue I’ve had, I ask them nicely and they stop. The annoying thing is there’s one issue that springs up after another is resolved. So after stopping screaming at the computer at 3-4am next to my sons room, they start smoking outside my bedroom, at midnight, or talking loudly and arguing on the phone outside my other son’s bedroom window at 6am.... there’s always bloody something! The parents are always mortified and apologise and it’s stops, for a while. Their kids are lazy and disrespectful shits.

My 15year old son, can be guilty of this at times, not a unique situation I imagine, I always correct him, but they get so carried away with these blooming games.

Thank goodness we live in a detached house away from close neighbours!

If it really offends you I would mention it to him, if not I would ignore it completely as it’s not directed at you and you don’t have little ears around at the moment.