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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be considering botox?

36 replies

Falcon1 · 27/07/2018 10:48

It's my 38th birthday today and instead of basking in the attention I'm getting from my lovely DH and kids, I can't stop thinking about how old I look. Pathetic, I know.

I keep getting a shock every time i look in the mirror. I'm so haggard! I have a very deep frown line in between my eyes and smile lines. My skin looks like it's trying to leave my face. My hair fell out 5 years ago when I came off the pill so I'm already wearing a hair system. Plus my boobs disappeared after stopping breastfeeding and my stomach will never be flat again. I can cope with all that (just) but the state of my face is really starting to depress me! I'm sick of looking tired and grumpy ALL THE TIME.

I went to see someone at Sk:n a while ago who said I'd need fillers and botox to make a difference, and the cost was staggering (about £600). Can I really justify it, given it's temporary? It's money that could be used to buy stuff for the kids, or the house. Would I be a terrible, selfish person to spend it on my face?!

Can anyone relate? Were you in the same position and just went for it? Was it worth it?

I wish I could just embrace getting older, but I'm struggling.

OP posts:
backinthatdress · 27/07/2018 10:56

If you have the spare money then go for it!

Why not just try the botox first and then go for the fillers if you need something cheaper?

I have botox in 2 areas every 6 months ish at the cost of £230 a time and im younger then you. I also have 2 children. I have been having it for a couple of years now as I was getting lines on the my forehead and hated them! I usually save all my xmas/birthday money from family etc and get it done and then just save some money each month to have it done again and repeat

You’re not selfish for wanting to make yourself feel better!

0range99 · 27/07/2018 11:00

I had it for the first time recently. It has made a real difference to my 11s and crows feet, they are practically gone but I still can smile etc. I haven't told anyone, I did it for me.

If you are in the Midlands my Othodontist is doing an offer for £250 which is a lot cheaper than sk:n and also done by someone who specialises in face muscles.

0range99 · 27/07/2018 11:02

Also I think because it is a new thing it is seen as being vain and shallow, whereas IMO it is the same as someone covering up their grey hair, and probably costs the same over a year, just a trip to the hairdressers is seen as perfectly normal.

Tinkofhousepan · 27/07/2018 11:04

I'm 27 and have been having botox for 2 and a half years. I LOVE it! I frown a lot so it really helps with my forehead wrinkles. 600 does sound a lot though. I'd recommend going to see Mo Akhavani at Glow dental in Clapham. He really is fantastic though he isn't there very often. George and Fataneh are also great

Original poster
Falcon1 · 27/07/2018 11:08

Thank you all for your replies - thought I was going to be flamed!

I'm in London/Surrey borders. Can anyone can recommend somewhere near there?!

The price I was quoted included fillers, which were actually more expensive than the botox. Maybe I'll just try the botox first...I could consider it a birthday present to myself perhaps!

Not sure what DH will think...

OP posts:
justilou1 · 27/07/2018 11:11

I'm 46 and I have just had my second round of botox. I haven't had any fillers because at the moment I don't feel the need. (Yet...). Also, they don't last very long. The botox I have had has made a subtle difference and I am very happy with it. (And an added bonus is the difference it has made to my tension headaches is amazing!!!)
My point being - why don't you try one first, then see how you go? If you have everything done in one hit, everyone will know and you might feel self-conscious....

mulberrybag · 27/07/2018 11:14

Consultant Clinic are amazing - see their fees on Instagram, they have various locations around the uk.
I feel so similar to how you've described, no matter how much people tell you that you have to love yourself, when your boobs are just skin flaps and your hair has taken a battering then those two are massive confidence hits, I know only too well Sad. I don't know the answer but I don't think it's at all selfish to spend money on yourself if it has a good chance of making you feel better about yourself Thanks

Original poster
Falcon1 · 27/07/2018 11:18

You're all being so lovely, thank you!

Justilou - really good point about not doing it all at once. Will take your advice!

Mulberrybag - will check out Consultant Clinic, thanks.

OP posts:
Ethylred · 27/07/2018 11:20

Botox is vain and shallow.
Like me. Go for it.

Original poster
Falcon1 · 27/07/2018 11:38

Ha ha, thanks Ethylred!

OP posts:
Bombardier25966 · 27/07/2018 11:47

@Orange99, can we have the name of your orthodontist please?

I say go for it OP, but also look at your skin care. I use The Ordinary Retinoid 5% in Squalane and it has made the world of difference, lines are still there but everything looks softer, less resting bitch face. Also, getting my brows done properly made such a difference. I went to the Shavata concession in John Lewis. It has really opened my eyes up!

Dalesgirl16 · 27/07/2018 11:50

I would love to have Botox too but not sure if too late already at 42. I haven't done it yet because I'm scared of the ingredient being a toxin? Plus my husband hates the idea!

coolncalm · 27/07/2018 11:50

Make sure you go to a reputable one who's fully trained. I had a nurse do me and foolishly didn't ask to see her certificate. I'm happy with my wrinkle free forehead but not with my drooping brow.

coolncalm · 27/07/2018 11:55

dalesgirl I'm much older than you, the only thing is when you're older (but 42 won't be classed as old) they need to use less because of the lack of muscle, something that the nurse who did mine failed to realise.

Sparklesocks · 27/07/2018 12:01

It's your money, your body, completely up to you what you do with both these things :)
If it'll make you feel better in yourself, I don't see why not

Original poster
Falcon1 · 27/07/2018 12:03

Thanks for the retinoid recommendation Bombardier. I've been using ROC serum cream but it's done nothing. Will try The Ordinary.

OP posts:
Myheartbelongsto · 27/07/2018 12:09

I'm nearly 40 and I have no lines, night cream is your vest friend.

I think over time you will end up with that shiny round face that just looks ridiculous.

It's amazing what a new hairdo and lipstick can do!

tccat · 27/07/2018 13:22

If you have deep frown lines fillers would work better, I had BOTOX for mine and it made a little difference but fillers would have worked better

thebird93 · 10/08/2018 18:26

I've had Botox recently and at 46 years old I felt it was time to dabble. Do your research and make sure the person is a prescriber not just a nurse. The difference is remarkable! I'll see if I can add pics

SavannahSky · 10/08/2018 18:47

I have a wrinkly neck/jaw after losing weight

This is interesting! I'm also 49 so I think I'm going to look into it

stayhomeclub · 10/08/2018 18:50

I had it aged 29 as I frown a lot, for me it has made a massive difference to my skin but no one has noticed. I would try Botox first and then see how you go with fillers. My lines have totally disappeared and the lady said only filler would get rid of them.

Notsurewhatsbest · 10/08/2018 19:00

I'm 32 and I'm getting it in a bout three weeks time. Can't wait!
I have noticed some lines in my forehead and when I smile I get crows feet under my eyes and I hate it! I feel like I've aged so much in the past year it's really scary so, botox it is!

CookPassBabtridge · 10/08/2018 19:02

You're not pathetic at all. 38 is young but it sounds like you have had a hard few years which have aged you quicker so you look older than you should. Life is short, you should spend the time feeling good about yourself. A bit of botox goes a long way!

theWarOnPeace · 10/08/2018 19:08

Following with desperate interest.... the last few months I can hardly stand to look at myself. I’ve always used high quality skincare but recently seem to have aged at great speed. I’m thinking about getting fillers around my smile lines as they are suddenly very deep. I’m 36 😩

NoraButty · 10/08/2018 19:10

I've had Botox twice, love it. I'm late 40's, gone from looking haggard and worried to looking fresh and carefree. What pushed me to go for it was my OH used to ask me what was wrong ALL the time, there was nothing wrong, it was just my face. Since I've had it done he's asked once, and that time there was something wrong.

I have it in four places, my 11's, my forehead, under my eyes and of all places my chin! It's got rid of all my wrinkles, softened my smile lines, lifted my brows, taken away eyelid droop and, relaxing my chin muscle has given me a softer side profile.

FWIW the first place I went for a consultation wanted to give me fillers everywhere as well as Botox and was very much into instant transformation. The place I chose to use has a more subtle approach, continuous improvement with little tweaks here and there over time.