To think it’s very sad certain professions are denied to some children

[continuallychargingmyphone]

I just didn’t know when I joined MN that if your name is not suitably middle class you are forced into a life of servitude in Asda or Tesco. No being a high court judge for you.

Or, aibu to think people are ridiculous and call your baby what you like?

How many people have friends with wildly different names?

Statistically children with names often perceived / judged as being from less privileged backgrounds will have jobs that are less well paid. This is a correlation not a causation. They're not 'banned' from being high court judges because of their name, they're just less likely to end up being one.

The causes could be a mixture of family background, parental attitude (reflected in the choice of name), family friends, opportunities, affluence, location; together with the attitudes of teachers, sports coaches, exposure to racism and snobbery growing up etc. All before they ever get near a cv.

Just because you know one doctor called Wayne; that doesn't change the overall trend, that this is less likely than a doctor called James. Not nice, but true.

When I was 17 I was convinced that if I had a DD she'd be called Lily or Lilah. When I was pregnant with DS at 22, he'd have probably been an Isla if he was a girl. I'm now 28 and would call a girl Jennifer, Jessica or Catherine. Maybe Zöe or Bridget if I felt quirky. DD's name (born when I was 25) has a name more in line with the Jennifer/Claire/Catherine style of names.

i have quite a lot of colleagues with unusual names. None of them
uses their real name though as they do sound weird in a business environment. some examples (the owners of the names are ok me mentioning them - i checked)

• the lady's first name is Princess. She used her (fairly average) middle name as otherwise people feel weird asking her to fo stuff ("Princess, could you hand me xyz" spunds derogatory to everyone who doesn't know it's actually her name)
• a higher up male manager called "Georgie". he is in his 50s, and he used a variation of his name
• a receptionist whose (foreign) first name happens to mean "Fuck" in the local language. he doesn't use his name

Appart from the last, they all have their real names on the application, got hired with it, but don't use them for good reasons. It didn't hinder their career, but it's certainly a hassle

OP - firstly using the names of murdered children was tasteless in the extreme.

Secondly, as others have said, the name isn't the key barrier but may be an indicator of other barriers that might be in place. I work in a professional role and many children with traditional backgrounds and names tend to know someone who works in a profession who can explain how it works, what language to use in interviews, help with (unpaid internships), A level subject choice etc. I am not sure that children from a background where names with interesting spellings etc are used have those same opportunities and connections.
For the record - my DC have foreign names as DH is not from the UK but we have picked names that work easily in English and his language.

I work with a princess. She's quite senior and it doesn't seem to hinder her

@StealthPolarBear for tbe Princess i know, her name is not a secret. just not used (her role is very much "right hand woman" in a conservative, public industry and it can sound quite sexist to be adressed as Princess.

More Daves than women in the boardroom. When people recruit they tend to look for people like themselves.
This is based on observation but I'm sure that someone will have researched it.

It’s unfair but there is so much unconscious bias in any recruitment process. We don’t anonymise at our place but I think we should. If I look at some of the entry level graduate posts I’ve recruited to in the last few years they all have had traditional middle class names. I don’t think I’ve filtered on that basis but instead the names that have applied are representative of the young people that have done well at elite universities and then applied for my roles.

It’s matter of fact really, even though I don’t agree with it, it happens and there isn’t really a lot you can do about changing human psyche

My kids have traditional, but very uncommon names. They go by nicknames but they have their long names too, same as me.

I’ve noticed on here that names considered ‘chavvy’ are different all over the country... someone mentioned Maisie? Not chavvy here.. but I’ve heard on other threads things like Mia or Grace, which are considered quite ‘lower class’ here. Very odd. Personally couldn’t give a fig what u call your kid but if it’s hard to spell then I would consider that, my name is easy to spell and people still do it wrong, constantly

it is deeply tedious to have to explain and spell your name every single time you tell anyone

Best not be Foreign then. Or go and work Abroad.

"Best not be Foreign then. Or go and work Abroad."

Oh don't be silly.

Right, but if you move abroad then you would expect that in advance, and bear it in mind when weighing up the pros and cons of moving abroad. Totally different to putting your own children through that in their own country.

@actualpuffins actually depending on the root and/or sounds in your name going abroad may not be a problem.

Unusual or 'chavvy' names are only one aspect of a less than ideal start in life. It isn't just the name, it''s the whole package that goes with it.

I also think people often live up or down to the expectations of their name.

Unusual or 'chavvy' names are only one aspect of a less than ideal start in life. It isn't just the name, it''s the whole package that goes with it

Exactly, believe it or not some people who have been given the 'wrong' name may have had the same advantages such as receivng attention, encouragement with reading, eduction, and good wholesome outdoor activity as those with more conventional names.

Equally, there will be people with nice tradtional names who will have had the opposite sort of upbringing.

Could you possibly miss the point more?

It's not that if you call your child Destinee-Honeybun that they are barred from being a high court judge, its that if you use names like that you clearly do not come from the kind of family and background that is ever likely to produce a high court judge.

You have it arseways, its not the name that causes the lower chances of attainment, its the environment that produces the name that does so.

I hope Harry and Meghan have a Lexi-mai and a Tyler-jay 😉

She'll get the blame if they do.

Probably. Then we’ll have the slating on here of the names being ‘chavvy’ or ‘ghetto’

Seriously - what's wrong with Destinee-Honeybun? If it shows a certain background, so what? The problem here is the middle-class assumption that a middle-class mileu is something to aspire to and deserves to be the norm when that isn't have to be case at all. The only drawback with the name is that it flags the person as someone they can exclude to retain their class privilege.

moany No I am not missing the point, because people aren't saying that it's names like Destinee-Honeybun that are indicative of uneducated parents and a disadvantaged environment, but also relatively normal names like Kevin, Wayne, Conor, Tracy, or Sharon.

What made you think I was talking to you and not the OP who posed the question? You were not namechecked or quoted.

Seriously - what's wrong with Destinee-Honeybun? If it shows a certain background, so what?

Would you like to go through life with such a stupid name? And isn't it obvious " so what"?

Destinee-Honeybun isn't a stupid name. Middle-class people have decided it's a stupid name because, as a group, they are unlikely to use it. That doesn't mean it is.