AIBU about in-laws suddenly being interested?

[HotAndUnreasonable]

I am seriously irritated by this, however I am also 30 weeks pregnant and appreciate I may be a pregnant-ragey-woman.

DH has lived in UK for 15 years, is from abroad but not far- short flight. In that time, his parents have visited him/us twice. Both for university graduations and last time was 2013. We have been over regularly, less in recent years as they don't make use feel welcome.
He had a fairly unhappy childhood and sees what he has achieved (good job, various qualifications) as despite them. I have never known them to show any interest whatsoever in him. We've made our peace with it, he gets on well with my family and when I got pregnant he told his parents but it wasn't met with much interest. We accepted that our DC will have one set of interested grandparents and that's OK.

He's just had a call from his DM "announcing" that they are going to come and stay with us- for the whole of next week arriving Monday! We've lived in this house 5 years and I actually don't think they even know our address. I am exhausted, have been unwell with hyperemesis the whole pregnancy and am not up for visitors. Never mind that our house is in disarray due to baby preparations/renovation and there's nowhere to actually put them! We also both work 9-5 with long commutes and it's far too late notice to take any time off.

DH wants to tell them either they aren't welcome and can sod off, or that they can come but not stay with us and we can meet them one or two evenings for dinner. He's pretty pissed off. I agree in general and am furious that they've just sprung this on us, but there's a bit of me that wonders if this is their attempt to form some semblance of a bond with new GC and if I should therefore be trying to nurture this for sake of future DC? Am I / are we BU? I know DH will be trying to protect me but I don't want to cut off nose to spite face, if that makes sense...

an event or someone famous appearing in your nearby tourist town hmmm yes and without being too outing it's every year and is a nightmare to get a hotel around that time, though they've never showed any interest before.

What you say about Christmas is interesting - the one Christmas we planned to spend with them, not that long after getting together really, we arrived to find their house locked up and dark. They'd forgotten we were coming and gone off to SIL in the countryside! Thankfully we were able to about-turn to the airport and get the last flight home, but since then we've spent Christmases with my family.

Anyway FIL has been on the phone, I'm not sure what was said but they have decided not to come if we can't put them up. Don't know what to make of that, really.

I have suggested that we go over there after baby is born and before Christmas this year, but that we stay in an apartment/air bnb and therefore they can meet baby but there won't be the tension of having to stay in their house. DH has some other relatives there who are nice - cousins etc - and who I'd like to be able to meet the baby so this seems like a solution at the moment.

Also thank you Rebecca36 - yes it was thoroughly grim! I lost a stone in the first trimester alone. It's odd because I have a very sticky-out bump, but people keep looking at me all confused like "you're clearly pregnant, but....have you lost weight!?"

Maybe they are doing it to brag to their friends about seeing the grandchildren

Of course YANBU. People can’t just come and invite themselves to stay. Especially on short notice, when you are pregnant, when you don’t have room for them, when you can’t get any time off work, and when you’re not even close to them. But none of that really matters because they shouldn’t be inviting themselves to stay anyway. It’s so rude to expect people to drop everything and suddenly make themselves available to host you.

Yikes! Does sound rather like they were after free accommodation more than wanting to see you and dh.

As for your Christmas story - who does that?! Forgets people are flying in to stay with you - what was dh's reaction to that? Was it typical of them as far as he was concerned?

I think you're right not to stay with them.

God they sound thoroughly nasty

Who the fuck does that?

As for the sickness, have you tried preggy pops? I felt like shit for 38 weeks with Ds1 and 39 weeks with ds2. Not much stayed down until they arrived, then I instantaneously felt better.

Are you able to keep fluids down ok?

Your future plan sounds like a good one. Them pulling out of the visit because you can’t put them up is entirely predictable - and underscores their priorities. Good luck with pregnancy ❤️