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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU that I should really 'report' this?

55 replies

pinkglitterandallthatjazz · 26/07/2018 23:27

Hi

I'm not one to make an issue out of things normally so would appreciate advice from MN posters.

I frequently fly and every single time I set the alarms off going through security - I'm made to take shoes off, hold hands above head in an x-ray cubicle and then 'frisked' by a female security officer with the x-ray 'wand' - sorry not sure of the official name ha!

I was flying out a couple of months ago and while the female security officer was 'frisking' me she definitely felt longer around my breasts/bra - in so far as actually 'cupping' my breasts and running her fingers across the whole breast, rather than a quick feel of the bra underwire bit.

I'm by no means traumatised by it and absolutely appreciate the need for extensive security measures - just felt this was not the norm I'd experienced and whether I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill Confused

Has anyone else experienced the same? And if you have would you report it?

OP posts:
rjay123 · 27/07/2018 06:03

I’m going to guess that crisp meant the airport security would take the thorough search as a compliment!

Greggers2017 · 27/07/2018 06:07

@Stopyourhavering64 I have had the exact sasme thing with m&s bras. The lady on security said it's very common for them to set it off! 🤷‍♀️

Etino · 27/07/2018 06:15

@Leatherboundanddown- what does not having big boobs do with not feeling violated?!
I’m the same btw, but how do we know it’d feel worse if they were bigger
I want to do a winky but not smiley face, more of a ‘fist bump let’s discuss this sister’

strawberrisc · 27/07/2018 06:39

It’s the closest I get to sex on an annual basis. Doesn’t bother me at all. You’re reading too much into it.

Aridane · 27/07/2018 06:42

There’s nothing you can do if you did report they probably wouldn’t take it seriously just take it as a compliment.

Eh?

Allaboutalex · 27/07/2018 06:46

I read crisps as the security team would take it as a compliment on their thoroughness

PaulRuddislush · 27/07/2018 06:47

YABU it's pretty standard and I can't believe you're considering reporting it months after the non event. If it bothered you do something about it right away.

TrudeauGirl · 27/07/2018 07:52

I read crisps as the security team would take it as a compliment on their thoroughness

Ah yeah maybe, I hope that's what they meant.

OneThreadOnly0101 · 27/07/2018 07:58

Last time I was frisked, I think in Amsterdam, I felt somewhat violated. She was rough, miserable and might as well have tweaked my nipple while she was at it.

I wouldn't bother complaining though.

MirriVan · 27/07/2018 13:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MirriVan · 27/07/2018 13:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Soph88 · 27/07/2018 13:22

I used to work at an airport and went through security on a daily basis. Their frisking often included hands run over the top of my breast and under and then round the band.
I think maybe it's a bit late to complain now if you didn't get a name, but if it happens again check their pass and complain that you felt it crossed a line.

My husband had his testicles 'brushed' once going through security. The guy apologised and my husband felt it was a accident so didn't complain.

Original poster
pinkglitterandallthatjazz · 29/07/2018 00:33

Aridane Fri 27-Jul-18 06:42:27
There’s nothing you can do if you did report they probably wouldn’t take it seriously just take it as a compliment.

really? you should take the thought that you're uncomfortable with how some one ran their hands over your body a compliment? I can only gather from that you don't get many compliments Grin

Would like to thank all posters who have gave their opinion - unfortunately the weather and storms cut my interntet off for the main part so was unable to reply - I won't be making a complaint but did feel it was 'ewww' and not what I normally experience when I (every BLOOODY TIME) set the security off..ha.

OP posts:
Isadora2007 · 29/07/2018 00:39

I think that a fairly thorough check of the bra area is okay as obviously if you were hiding stuff there it wouldn’t just be on the underwire. I have to say I wasn’t impressed when my security frisk failed to notice the €500 I had stashed in my bra- €250 in each cup! I was relieved as I’d forgotten it was there but afterwards I was thinking they were pretty crap at their jobs!

LustyBusty · 29/07/2018 02:35

I just wrote a massive long reply and lost it. Angry
I have had a frisking similar to what you describe and whilst I was uncomfortable I could see / tell it was just a thorough search (she did three passes across my breasts - underwire and underboob, mid-centre and over the top). Were you travelling to/from a dubious country? (I was clearly timing-wise just off a flight from a well known drug smuggling country...)

Birdsgottafly · 29/07/2018 02:46

""what does not having big boobs do with not feeling violated?!
I’m the same btw, but how do we know it’d feel worse if they were bigger""

I've gone up two cup sizes, post menopause and weight gain. I feel more embarrassed now they 'jiggle' more and have to be lifted, during a search.

Mine has always been done with the back of the hand.

BackToTheFuschia7 · 29/07/2018 03:37

God, I haven’t flown abroad for years but is this really tolerated? It’s not freely consented to, is it? People are only consenting to such intimate touching from a stranger because they need to fly for work/ their holiday.

Cupoteap · 29/07/2018 09:13

@ManyCrisps 😲

Buster72 · 29/07/2018 09:20

You really haven't flown for over 17 years have you backtothefushia....we had a little trouble around 2001 you see..

It is not an intimate search anyway as the clothes remain...

Aridane · 29/07/2018 09:49

poster pinkglitterandallthatjazz - no, no - I was quoting anoposter with surprise. Certainly not my view or post!!!!!!

Lizzie48 · 29/07/2018 10:21

I had this happen to me on one journey when in transit through Germany, on the way to Austria. I kept getting frisked by female security guards. It really freaked me out and I reacted in a way that was OTT. Looking back, it was because I was suffering from PTSD as a result of childhood SA, but I didn't realise this at the time.

I suppose they may have been looking for someone fitting my description, because it was only me who was targeted, my DH wasn't searched once.

BackToTheFuschia7 · 29/07/2018 12:12

Someone running their hands over my breasts, regardless of clothes, is intimate in my book Buster

Pretty sure sexual harassment and groping is being touched intimately while dressed too.

Sorry you were affected Lizzie Flowers

funnylittlefloozie · 29/07/2018 12:24

I get pat-down searched every day going into work. Different people search in totally different ways. When "Mary" searches me, she barely makes contact with my clothes, never mind body. Its like a reiki search lol. When "Florence" searches me, its like having a full body massage. I swear i had bruises once...

Neither of these search styles is ideal, but when human beings are involved, nothing is perfect.

RomanAD65 · 29/07/2018 20:44

Where I used to work, a search often involved exposing underwear, as well as pat-downs. We just got on with it

Mothership4two · 23/07/2019 04:23

I always ping the alarm too. I fly quite frequently from Newcastle and they have a machine that pinpoints where the metal is before you are frisked. It always shows the bottom of my right leg and there is no reason for it - bizarre