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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to do all this in one day?

87 replies

QuestionableMouse · 26/07/2018 09:31

Been booked on a course for work. It's being held 90+ miles away and I have to be there for 9am. Course runs until 6 at which point I'd have to leave and drive home. Its being held in a hotel and I'm thinking about asking my manager if he can book me a room. I have really bad sciatica and I'm worried that it'll be agony from the combined driving and sitting all day. Aibu?

OP posts:
ahouseofleaves · 27/07/2018 15:03

Yes, I'd be inclined to say I couldn't go on the course under those circumstances. The fact that they wouldn't even listen would really annoy me.

Weepatchesoflove · 27/07/2018 15:07

Op, have you tried a tens machine for your sciatica? I have chronic sciatica and (with meds) it’s the only thing that’s helps when it is really bad.
Sorry, I know it doesn’t help your problem about travelling, but if it can take the edge off of your pain it may help. Although, you can’t use them when you are driving, but could for throughout the day?

GnotherGnu · 27/07/2018 15:11

Can you get a note from your doctor to say that that is a total no-no so far as your health is concerned? And can you go over your boss's head with your request?

SlothMama · 27/07/2018 15:11

I cover a large portion of the UK so to me that's not a long journey and I'd do it in one day.

triwarrior · 27/07/2018 15:13

That’s perfectly do-able! You’ll leave the house at 6:30ish and be home by 8:30-9? It’s a long day but not one that requires overnight accommodation, surely?

yaffingale · 27/07/2018 15:20

I have to admit, my round trip to work is 60 miles into London. Takes about 2 hours each way driving and that's still getting into the office for 8am. On top of that I drive around during the day totting up miles.

I also fractured my spine 4 years ago that wasn't operated on so I feel your sciatica pain.

The traveling is my choice and I put up with it because the job is a good one.

If you need a hotel the night before then all you can do is ask. If this is only a one off then your employer should pay, or claim it on your expenses.

MadMaryBoddington · 27/07/2018 15:20

SlothMama and triwarrior, that would be fair enough without sciatica. The op will be in an enormous amount of pain as a result of this. It changes things.

Ollivander84 · 27/07/2018 15:22

Not with sciatica. When mine was bad I was on morphine and couldn't sit for more than 45 mins (until they operated as it wasn't going to go away with exercise)

EdisonLightBulb · 27/07/2018 15:26

I have a bad back, I have to have an osteopathy session before I fly or go on long drives. Sitting still for hours kills me.

YANBU

happypoobum · 27/07/2018 15:37

Is this a course you are doing for your own personal development OP, or something your employer is insisting you do?

If it is mandatory I would ask for the hotel as a "reasonable adjustment" and explain that without it you will be unable to attend on this occasion.

delphguelph · 27/07/2018 15:37

Refuse to go on the course - doc's note maybe??

delphguelph · 27/07/2018 15:38

Even without sciatica it's excessive I'd say.

KatieKittens · 27/07/2018 15:42

If you can’t arrive there by the start time then it’s not unreasonable at all to ask for overnight accommodation!

Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 27/07/2018 16:28

I have a tens machine but I don't find it much help.

Course is something I have to do for work. I didn't have a choice of location or date.

I don't have expenses so can't claim in back through them. I work in a fast food restaurant and the course is for a promotion.

It's too much for one day. I know my limits and it's too much. Also hate trying to find somewhere in a rush because it stresses me out.

OP posts:
Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 27/07/2018 16:30

I can't go higher than the manager I spoke to today who was very dismissive and told me to just leave earlier which wasn't very helpful. I'm saving them money by driving rather than getting the train. (I checked the ticket prices and they were in the £120 range for a return)

OP posts:
happypoobum · 27/07/2018 16:31

Well it's up to you. Either tell them you can't do it, or get a suitable train and turn up late/get sent home.

How will you get paid train fare/mileage if you don't have expenses?Please don't tell me they expect you to pay for that yourself???!!!

delphguelph · 27/07/2018 16:31

Would the train be more comfortable?

Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 27/07/2018 17:25

We have a milage allowance for driving and the train ticket would be booked for me.

OP posts:
KatieKittens · 27/07/2018 19:26

Why don’t you approach your big boss again tomorrow.

Tell them that you need to take the train, as per your GP’s instructions you cannot sit for a long period of time.

Tell them that you will send an email the people providing the training to ask for a reasonable accommodation to be made for your late arrival.

In the email state that your boss will not provide an allowance for a hotel. Cc him into the email- he might have to backtrack.

Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 28/07/2018 09:09

Because I'm fairly sure it won't do any good. I am however going to look into the driving policy and see if that'll get me anywhere.

OP posts:
Cornettoninja · 28/07/2018 09:28

As it’s for promotion is it worth you paying for your own accomadation? I think getting there the evening before would be better.

ForalltheSaints · 28/07/2018 10:07

Hopefully the driving policy will help. If not then KatieKittens makes sense as the alternative.

If it a large company, the other option is a few tweets to make their unreasonableness public. Drastic but would probably be effective.

VioletCharlotte · 28/07/2018 10:09

Totally reasonable to ask (and expect!) and overnight stay, and if I was your manager I'd have suggested it!

To the poster who says they do a 80 mile commute everyday... well that's your choice!

VioletCharlotte · 28/07/2018 10:12

Sorry, just rtft and see your manager refused! Totally unreasonable! Do you work for a late organisation? If so this should be covered in their travel policy. Do you have an HR team you could ask?

Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 28/07/2018 11:16

It's a well known fast food restaurant chain. I could go to HR but I contacted them a short time ago over something else. I don't want to be the problem employee.

OP posts:
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