To think that I do know if my baby wakes a lot?

[AFishOutofWaters]

Four months old so prime sleep regression time although actually it’s been like this from birth

Some nights she wakes every two hours, has a little feed or cuddle and settlesback down quickly and that’s great and easy to manage

Other nights like last night she wakes every 30-60 mins and is really difficult to settle. That is a lot harder but we get through it.

I have tried all the usual techniques mentioned here and elsewhere (bed sharing, white noise etc) and have taken professional advice. She’s also been seen by GP

What makes it hardest is that other people seem to think it’s just me! They ask if she is really waking up or if I’m just paranoid, do I pick her up the moment she stirs etc etc. One person asked me to show them that she’d woken on the video monitor when we’d stayed away and I could see she was thrashing and crying while I was downstairs, as if I’d make it up!

I can also assure everyone that attentive and fond of cuddles as I may be, by the millionth wake up at 5am I absolutely do not spring to attention at the slightest murmur or movement —until it’s too loud to ignore— although I do comfort her before she is distressed because I know she’s waking because she’s a baby and that’s what she needs

I’m also sure that other mums of sleeping babies wonder if she doesn’t get enough fresh air, enough naps, bedtime routine etc etc but I have tried all of these things - I could write a book on the unsuccessful application of sleep-through-the-night theories!

I’m sure even my DH suspects I’m exaggerating but he sleeps in spare room so wouldn’t know —and if it’s not as frequent as I describe I wonder why he feels he needs to sleep elsewhere—

Anyway, sleep deprivation is hard but I love my daughter and will continue to do all I can for her. I can cope but what makes it hardest is other people’s skepticism! I’ve even been told I look great so must be sleeping ok which is kind sort of but is more due to showering first thing with coffee and a determination to get on with things

Anyone else?

Strikethrough mishap, I guess it’s separate — like this — ?

• -like this?- -

She’s still really little and it will get better. In the meantime... yeah, sometimes you can try every trick out there and they just don’t sleep. Sounds like you’re doing everything right.

My first son was like this. Think it was a combination of-

1. Sleeping so much during day that not tired enough at night
2. Never being able to self settle. Because I always fed/rocked to sleep
3. Me being uptight and waking/fussing at the drop of a hat

Result - I resorted to controlled crying at 15 months. I was an insomniac myself for much longer though!

With my second I couldn’t do as much. He had to self settle I.e cry himself to sleep for a short time much more often. We were both much happier!

If you’re on an iPhone the strike through doesn’t work anymore.
It doesn’t for me.

OP I HEAR YOU!!!!!

I’ve been there, I’ve got the tshirt, I breed non-sleepers and I’m currently baking another one. I’m only 18 weeks and I’ve already been heavily researching sleep consultants and have every intention of paying the £350 that they charge in order to get some sleep so I can go back to work.

I’ve had nights that are so bad that I’ve no slept at all. That the second I stop patting his back, he wakes. During this time he was in a lot of pain though, we were in the midst of discovering a shit ton of allergies.

Can I assume you have eliminated reflux, silent reflux, etc? All these are worse at night and laying down.

Also I relied heavily on a swing chair. It was the only thing DS would sleep in until he was 8-9 months old.

I feel you. And I believe you.

I believe you OP.

Also - I can no longer do strikethroughs either! I swear they changed them!

They have. It’s annoying. I might ask on site stuff when I’m bored enough.

I hear you. If you're on Facebook join the Beyond Sleep Training Project Group for some solidarity!

Can I just say, i’m right there with you. My baby is the most sleep resistant thing I’ve ever seen. My first woke, had a nice drink of milk, went back to sleep. This one? Wakes after about 2-3 hours, has a mouthful, thrashes to be allowed to sit up and stare around the dark bedroom; coos and gurns for my attention... finally sleeps again, but ONLY on me, and that’s it for the rest of the day. If I move her, after a minute the bright beady eyes flash open, and the Duracell bunny is off again.

My friend didn’t really believe i’d tried everything and insisted on pushing her to sleep in her buggy. Which does work sometimes, until you dare to stop moving. Eventually my friend gave in and conceded I was right!

Tired fist bumps, Mama. You are not alone.

My daughter was the same. I figured sleep was developmental and would get there in her own time, and he did. From about 10 months she started sleeping longer and at 15 months now generally sleeps through most of the night, waking perhaps once if at all. I didn't do any sleep training or anything like that

It's hard but they get there. Perhaps commented on how well I looked but that's because I'm reasonably good at applying make up

bambear I’m glad your child improved at 10 and 15 months but unfortunately not all children “get there” and it isn’t always developmental (if only!).

My first (who I used CIO with) didn’t sleep through until he was 5 years old.

My second (who I co-slept etc with) didn’t sleep through until he was 6.

Ah the four month sleep regression...I sometimes reflect back on that and wonder how I survived. Mine went for waking every 40 minutes normally. Nothing that could be done to improve things, it does gradually get better though!

As for you apparently looking too good to be getting so little sleep - we had a BAD night on Tuesday (she's 14 months now so I'd hoped we were past nights like these). She'd had her jabs and just would not go down in her cot, so at midnight I conceded and let her stay sleeping on me while I sat in the rocking chair. I didn't get to go to bed at all, which is extra sad because I really really love bed. So anyway, by like 9 last night, when I'd been up for 40 hours without so much as laying horizontally for a few minutes, my husband just kept remarking on how lovely and healthy I looked

Tbf the OP stated that the baby is like this normally anyway.

I believe you. I had one. It was so bad she was 40 mins all night....up constantly.
I used to dig my nails into my hand to stay awake.
It does get better...by 14months she was down to once a night. The best improvement was when I night weaned at 18 months. She now sleeps 7-7 with very rare wake ups. Her brother is now the one keeping me up....

iPhone

Go to Settings > Keyboard > Turn off smart punctuation

You should be able to strikethrough

When do you get to sleep in the spare room, OP? You need an undisturbed night too once in a while!

I had twins and treated them exactly the same. One slept 5 hours a night within his first week (counts as sleeping through at that age) with a second 3 hour sleep after a feed and other than a couple of regressions has slept through ever since, the other didn't sleep more than 2 hours at a time for the first couple of years. At one point it was every 30 minutes but that was due to undiagnosed soya intolerance.

If I'd only had twin 1 I would have been the suggest, most annoying, refreshed mum ever (and would probably have died of shock when baby 2 came along).

At 4 they are both amazing sleepers and I have no idea how we survived the early years.

But seriously I did nothing different. They had the same amount of fresh air, same daytime activities, same bed time routine. Completely opposite ends of the sleep spectrum.

*smuggest not suggest

YANBU! My DD was the same and it was hell so you have my sympathies. Nothing worked and everyone has an opinion on what you're apparently wrong and/or that you're exaggerating. It's just the way some babies are though. This too shall pass!

• doing wrong, that is

I had one of those.
He still doesn't sleep very much (aged 8, he is going to bed an hour before me, getting me up at 6am). He is also old enough to get his own breakfast and watch tv if I tell him I want a lie in at the weekend. On the plus side, we have just done the most horrible set of flights devised by man (1am flight, means leaving home 10pm, land at 5am, 2 hr transfer and then another 4 hrs). And the none sleeper breezed through it, wide awake as soon as we needed to do anything, whilst I ended up carrying his good sleeper 6 yr old brother.
None sleepers also seem to be dry at night earlier, so think of all the nappies you aren't going to need to buy....

I had a non-sleeper too. We were quite smug with DC1, we assumed the baby sleeping through after 8 weeks had something to do with all of the marvellous techniques we'd used. What utter twats we were.

DC2 nearly broke us. I ended up co-sleeping with her, despite my terror of harming her somehow, as it was the only way either of us got any sleep. I was a zombie for 2 years. Luckily I looked it so no one disbelieved me, and several of my NCT friends had non-sleepers too so we had solidarity.

Ahh thank you so all so much for the empathy and believing me! (And sorry so many have been there) Also for the strikethrough tips.

I don’t try to draw attention to it in conversation but people always always ask about her sleep! Maybe I should just fib

@LongestSummerDays yes I suppose I should ask DH but she won’t take a bottle - I know it would still be lovely to just feed and go back to sleep but he works in the week and doing so much DIY at weekends. I know I’m probably being soft.

@littletabbyocelot I think mothers of twins are absolutely amazing. I don’t know how you do it! It’s interesting you posted that because I was going to mention a comment someone made the other day when making ever so helpful suggestions about sleep. I remarked that twins must be hard and she said “oh you can’t get naughty twins though. You just can’t pander to them so they are well behaved” - the implication being I suppose that I pander to mine and so she is “naughty”? She doesn’t have twins herself btw

I appreciate suggestions from you guys of course, it’s the smug mummies that are annoying. I’ve witnessed some of them just put their babies in the cot and the babies just close their eyes and sleep! Witchcraft!

Anyway had a lovely cup of tea now and little monster is playing and being so delightful it’s all worth it! 😍

ScrambledSmegs that really made me laugh

My DD was like that and, I think, that unless you’ve had a poor sleeper you can’t quite imagine what it’s like. I also tried various ideas, bought books, etc but nothing really worked until she grew out of it. It’s absolutely exhausting...but it does pass.