To not invite anyone to a Christening?

[LeighaJ]

I'm from the US where baptism when older is more common then christening as a baby except among Catholics. My sister and I however were christened as babies despite not being Catholic.

My husband is Catholic though not particularly religious but we decided early on in our relationship to raise our kids Catholic if we had any.

It's very important to me to have our daughter christened for religious reasons. To me a christening is a private, sacred, religious ceremony but in the UK it seems to have a huge social aspect attached to it that I'm not interested in.

Not only are we not interested in a big to do about it we can't afford the pomp and circumstance of invites, party, or dinner out for people. We live in a 1 bedroom flat without a garden...we don't even have room for a table so can't host it here. Plus most are 2.5 hours away.

My family wouldn't be able to come, her grandfather and his family wouldn't come because of my husband's Mum. So it would mostly just be his Mum there being over the top and annoying.

So would we be unreasonable not to invite anyone and probably not tell anyone we had it done?

You only need to invite the godparents, really. Apart from that it's all optional.

I wish more people thought like you! I agree with your sentiments exactly. I am not religious at all and I can never understand why people insist on turning a religious ceremony into an excuse for a party. Go for the christening that means something to you and your husband.

You can ask the priest to baptise your daughter privately, nothing wrong with that.

I am not religious at all and I can never understand why people insist on turning a religious ceremony into an excuse for a party.

^What like a wedding?

Do we have to have godparents?

I didn't have any but I'm not Catholic. I don't have any close friends in the UK and my husband doesn't really either.

My closest friend in the US has a young daughter with cancer so no way would I ask her to come over even if she could afford it.

Many Catholic churches have Christenings done during or after Sunday mass, so would be very easy to do it that way rather than having a stand alone ceremony with a lot of extra fuss.

Is your MIL a practising Catholic? If she is she may be upset at not being invited but in any case would be glad that the baby has been christened.

*Does she have to have godparents?

In my (Presbyterian) church, baptisms take place during normal services, and the whole congregation stand and vow to act as godparents to the baby.
The family can have their own individual godparents if they want, and they can have a party afterwards if they want, but neither of these things are essential or compulsory!
You do not have to do anything you don’t want to, OP. The religious ceremony is the ONLY important part of any baptism. The rest is just socialising.

I have christened my 4 children, the ceremony was the most important part for us but we did have the party with immediate family at home on the first three and enjoyed it. On the last one we couldnt afford it so just had the godparents and our own kids at both the church and a meal afterwards to mark the occasion. It was by far the most enjoyable day of the 4 and if i were to have another, it would be the way id do it again, even though money wouldnt be an issue now. Do what suits you, the sacrament is the most important bit!

MIL isn't a practicing Catholic no, neither is my FIL. They did once care enough though to have my husband confirmed but that was a long time ago.

God parents are usual but I don't think that they would have to be in attendance. I'm not sure if you have to have them -best to ask your priest.

If you are having a Catholic baptism, no godparents is only usual in an emergency situation- my daughter had none because she wasn't going to live to need them.
Since baptism is about welcoming a child into the Church, and not just a celebration of the child's birth, it is usual to have other members of the Church community as godparents, but if you want something different you can always ask the priest and see what he says.

Here's a link to the canon law regarding godparents:

www.vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/_P2Y.HTM

The priest may be able to recommend someone to be godparent if you don't know anyone suitable, perhaps someone who runs a church children's groups etc. I have heard of this happening where a couple is newly converted or living away from friends.

As PPs have said, your priest will be able to advise you.

Hi @LeighaJ my 3 daughters were all christened, at my eldests we had all the families there & my now exH sister was her godmother, the meal & party afterwards just seemed to turn into a massive drink fest for his family. So when it came to my middle daughter’s christening it was just my parents & GP’s that were in the church no godparents & we just went out for a meal & did the same for the youngest. Now my eldest is 27 this year & is ignored by her godmother who is also her aunt. But when I think back on it I didn’t even know I had a godmother till I was 13 & we went on holiday & we stopped to stay with my mums cousin & family for a few days & that’s when I found out & to this day ( now 51) have never heard from her again. So when my GS was born I said to my DD to do what she wanted, so he was christened, no godparents, just basic immediate family that was active in his life there & we went out for a meal where we all paid for our own.

Do what is best for you & your little one.

Ok so it doesn't sound like a big deal then to not turn it into some social affair as well.

My husband seemed really concerned about it and since I'm not from here I wasn't sure if it was a faux pas to just do a simple christening. Especially since his family doesn't seem religious at all...I've never heard them once discuss religion, God, the Bible or anything related to those.

You don’t have to have a party/make loads of fuss about a Christening. It’s a religious ceremony before anything else. If I were you I would do it quietly without telling anyone, it’s nobody’s business but yours. You are absolutely not obliged to turn a Christening into a bun fight if you don’t want to - it’s a spiritual occasion first and foremost.

Absolutely fine to do as little or as much as you choose. Enjoy the day, take pics. Job done :)
We just did ours for kids recently