To have argued with my mother over wages/ savings?

[Quiddichcup]

I work, always have done. Now in the process of trying to rebuild my career now my dd is not so little. Currently looking at jobs about 25k

My mother has told me that's a lot and I would be very well off and should easily be able to save on that.

I'd still get a tiny tiny bit of tax credits on that wage, and basically without the tiny bit of child maintance and child benefit, my wages would only cover cost of living.

It's not a huge wage to support 2 people on.

My mother who earns less than half that but who is in a far better financial position ( married etc) declares it to be and said I must be wasting money.

Where do you live? How much is rent etc?
I earn 28k, have 2dcs and manage to save every month, so sounds doable with one less kid?

Not that it's your mums business I should add!!

Rent and council tax come in at 850 per month.

I could probably afford to save 50 a month or something, But certainly that would be pushing it.

I think older generations see that salary as representing ‘a good job’ and associated lifestyle. However depending on housing costs it may not stretch that far.
Your finances, your business. She doesn’t really have a right to comment.

I wouldn’t think that’s a lot for 2 to live off from! It’s survivable, yes, but doesn’t give a lot of money for luxuries

We managed on that when we had two kids but that was about 15 years ago. We couldn’t now, even if anything else was equal. We’d manage possibly but not save.

YANBU. I used to have similar debates with my mother about this. She earned about the same as I did but had amassed a decent amount of savings and could not understand how I hadn’t.

I pointed out that DH and I both put in a sizeable chunk of our monthly wage towards paying for household bills. It then transpired that DF paid for all household related bills (e.g mortgage, council tax, electric etc) and DM only paid for the food (DF even gave her an ‘allowance’ towards that!) so most of her wage could go towards saving if she liked. Perhaps your DPs have a similar arrangement?
My DM was financially savvy regarding her own situation but had absolutely no clue about the general cost of living or expenses that most of us have to deal with.

My mother has no clue what I earn or save

I earn £25k and have a mortgage, work pension and a park Christmas account. All of those count a savings right?

I earn 21 & husband about 20. We struggle to save!
Rent, council tax & Nursery total £1,350 Ish. Then have all the other associates bills. Husband drives a lot so quite a bit goes in petrol.
My parents think our wage is a lot too but my moms mortgage is about £230 & my dad paid his off years ago.

As long as you are not continually complaining to your mother about 'being broke' or trying to borrow money from her, then it's really none of her business what you are earning or doing with the money you earn.

On £25k gross you would take home £1,699 a month. So half your income would be gone on rent and council tax.

I don't think the remaining £849 is a huge amount for expenses for two people, considering you need to pay for food, household items, clothes, transport, utilities etc. It's do-able but you'll need to watch every penny in order to be able to save.

And if you take off 100 for pension then it's even less.

She pays 150 a month towards her tiny tiny mortgage. I think she's just out of touch with the reality of prices of things, more so when there isn't any one to split it with.

As long as you are not expecting her to provide free childcare, I would stop discussing it with your Mum. She lives in a different world in her head, one that stopped existing quite a while ago.

She doesn't provide childcare and I wasn't discussing it. She just brought it up with me. It's all pie in the sky as I haven't had a job offer yet.

I think older women who had their husband pay most of the expenses and got to keep their own wages as “pin money” don’t really understand the reality of how far wages need to stretch and what costs are like these days (especially housing!!)

If she keeps on. In your position, I'd ask her to sit down and help you budget. Once she realises the actual costs involved she'll probably be aghast at how limited your options are.

I did say to her that my outgoings are around 1500 per month.

She did a sharp intake of breath.

But that's everything including food, running a car, utilities etc etc. I think that's pretty good to be honest. But on one wage there isn't a lot left over.