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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For wanting callers to default to calling my landline first.

224 replies

slowrun · 25/07/2018 17:01

I prefer receiving calls on my landline. There is much better confidentiality. Sound quality is better. I can hear the ringer better. We also have a good quality answering machine. I also have a pen and paper handy, can write dates down and check diaries.

When I take my mobile out, I could be anywhere. I could be running or paying for something in a shop. So I cannot always give full attention to the call. I'm ok with a quick question and of course in an emergency I'm happy to be reached by my mobile.

However! if I give my mobile number out people seem to default to that. Hence I don't often but then end up ringing up to chase appointments if I'm going to be away from home.

AIBU? How do other people manage this?

OP posts:
malmi · 26/07/2018 19:53

Don't give people your mobile then.

But sometimes I want them to use my mobile.

Screen the calls then.

But I want to answer every call.

Answer them then.

But I prefer people to call my landline.

UnderMajorDomoMinor · 26/07/2018 19:54

Surely any emergencies will come from a number you recognise? Or at least a viewable number. Isn’t the answer to this not answering your mobile when it’s not convenient or not answering withheld numbers?

If it’s withheld and they don’t leave a message it’ll be marketing. They always right by back!

UnderMajorDomoMinor · 26/07/2018 19:56

‘I always answer my phone in case it’s important’ what even if you’re paying at the checkout or on the loo?

How often is it important?

Malbecfan · 26/07/2018 19:58

Not RTFT. But those telling me to join them in the 21st century, I'd love to, really I would. Tell ALL the mobile network providers to get their backsides in gear and sort out the mobile blackspot where I live. There is NO signal on any network here.

To the OP: my mobile has a message on the voicemail to tell people not to leave a message there (it costs money to retrieve it). Either they need to text me to call them back, or ring my landline. If they don't have the landline number, there is normally a good reason

UnderMajorDomoMinor · 26/07/2018 19:58

If you have no intention of making any changes to your behaviour then you need to tell people, probably repeatedly, to default to your landline. Develop a thick skin for the ‘... ok...’ looks as honestly this is such a weird thing to be focused on to this extent.

Either you don’t get many important calls so you’re being ott or you do so just need a better mobile.

InfiniteCurve · 26/07/2018 20:03

Malmi, I hate to ask but surely Voicemail does rely on mobile phone signal?
Otherwise how does it work?
I live in a mobile phone blackspot and I get voicemail messages left which are just static and the odd word breaking up,just like the quality of the sound I get if I answer the thing.
And I want people trying to contact me to bear in mind that if I'm out mobile reception may be ok and I can talk - at home often not.

Original poster
slowrun · 26/07/2018 20:05

Surely any emergencies will come from a number you recognise? Or at least a viewable number. Isn’t the answer to this not answering your mobile when it’s not convenient or not answering withheld numbers?

No, not necessarily. Added to this by the time I've heard my phone and got it from my bag there is no time to decide whether I recognise the number or not.

‘I always answer my phone in case it’s important’ what even if you’re paying at the checkout or on the loo?

I get very few marketing calls. Probably because I'm careful who I give my number to. Calls are usually important. I usually get to my phone in time.

OP posts:
FriggingMardyCow · 26/07/2018 20:07

YANBU

I am in my forties.

Everyone in my social circle calls me on my landline and I would call them on a landline first. Age ranges are 40s to 70s. I couldn't manage without a landline, the mobile reception here is awful.

@Xenia - there are lots of non-mobile based products for digital VAT, some even work from solely spreadsheets (although a developer told me spreadsheets are old school now Grin )

John4703 · 26/07/2018 20:11

I am 71 and no longer give anyone my landline number. Call me on my mobile and I will get the call.

Original poster
slowrun · 26/07/2018 20:15

If you have no intention of making any changes to your behaviour then you need to tell people, probably repeatedly, to default to your landline. Develop a thick skin for the ‘... ok...’ looks as honestly this is such a weird thing to be focused on to this extent.

Well, I don't because I don't give the mobile out for this reason. Regarding needing the thick skin, that is evident. I don't understand the 'weird' though because my reasoning is sound and regarding I am for the thread in order to explain how I feel and respond to posters but in real life not giving a mobile number out does not require much focus.

OP posts:
Original poster
slowrun · 26/07/2018 20:15

Regarding focus.

OP posts:
malmi · 26/07/2018 20:18

Yes, listening to a voicemail either requires a mobile signal, or you can retrieve them from a landline if you don't have one. But it doesn't rely on you having a signal at the point that the person is leaving the message.

Jaxtellerswife · 26/07/2018 20:31

If my landline rings I look at it with suspicion and never answer it

CheshireChat · 26/07/2018 22:20

Actually, most service providers will leave a voice message so just don't answer and you can listen to it straight away if you want to or leave it for later so using a mobile phone doesn't change anything in this regard.

malmi · 26/07/2018 23:01

Oh dear CheshireChat, you haven't been paying attention.

Firstly, if the mobile rings then you have to answer it, because by the time you get it out of your bag there is no time to think about whether you want to take the call or not. It's probably an emergency after all, or at least time-critical.

Secondly, voicemail on mobile phones is notoriously unreliable.

Thirdly, even if you can decipher the garbled message that has been left, how are you going to be able to make any useful notes or refer to your calendar when you are out and about, possibly riding a horse or performing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on a heatstroke victim?

I'm afraid it's the steam-powered landline and reel-to-reel answerphone or nothing, in my book.

(All in good jest, Slowrun!)

SimonBridges · 27/07/2018 00:03

People who have been saying that they don’t get a mobile signal at home, have you told your mobile company this?
I had this problem and 3 gave me a box that means I get my mobile signal via my WiFi.

CheshireChat · 27/07/2018 15:51

3 gave me one of those things and the words chocolate teapot come to mind. We also had to pay for the sodding thing.

UnderMajorDomoMinor · 27/07/2018 17:07

I just don’t understand why this is an AIBU. Yanbu to have a personal preference but if you’ve already got it covered I’m not sure what you want from this.

Original poster
slowrun · 27/07/2018 17:35

I just don’t understand why this is an AIBU. Yanbu to have a personal preference but if you’ve already got it covered I’m not sure what you want from this.

Simply, to check if other people felt the same as me or whether I was being ridiculous. I'm now satisfied that I'm not the only one who likes people to use their landline number. Grin

OP posts:
Slarti · 27/07/2018 20:31

Slarti, do you have a million hands though? Switching between screens whilst taking a call and making notes. All whilst you are out on a run or shopping or something. The old way is more relaxed. One thing at a time. And no worrying about phone reception.

Just one pair of hands needed, since it's just one device. In contrast you are using a phone, a diary and a pen and notepad. If I'm on a run I don't answer, obviously, just like I wouldn't (couldn't) if someone rang a land line when I was out.

tillytrotter1 · 28/07/2018 06:22

Some of clearly don't live in Norfolk! To use the mobile I need to be out at the bottom of the garden. My daughters send messages to my mobile then get stroppy if I don't pick them up, sometimes for days, I am of a generation which is not surgically attached to their phones! If it's that important, phone me!

londonrach · 28/07/2018 06:24

I agree with you. I never carry my mobile. Im in my 40s. Gp reception looked surprised last week wen i asked her to call my landline snd kept aking for my mobile and didnt believe me when i said i dont carry it

PomegranateBun · 28/07/2018 06:57

It absolute honesty, the only people I know who use a landline are in their 80s. Taking actual notes with pen and paper, checking an actual diary?

I'm nowhere near my 80s and I continue to organise my life with a proper diary and pen and paper. And a real life calendar. They don't develop faults and the batteries on them don't die at inopportune moments. And if I lose them, I haven't 'left my whole life in a taxi'
as my dd wailed down the phone at me from a callbox once.

PomegranateBun · 28/07/2018 07:16

Some of clearly don't live in Norfolk!

I live almost in Norfolk. As soon as I'm in half a mile down the road in the car my phone starts pinging madly with all the messages it's been saving up for me. Just at exactly the time I can't read them.
My daughter is sneaky. She sends texts to my landline, but only if it's time sensitive and she's at work. Otherwise she'll just ring and have an old fashioned conversation.

ItsLikeRainOnYourWeddingDay · 28/07/2018 07:21

OP i think your making more work for yourself.

99.999999% of the population don't give a shit what your taking about when your on a call.

Get an answering service on your mobile.

Use your mobile more and for more tasks. Set up a family calendar. Make lists. Set reminders. Etc etc.

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