Sister in law problems

[BrewsD]

Hi All, looking for some advice as to wether I'm overreacting because of hormones or does my sister in law have an agenda.

I've never been fond of her as I find her very high maintenance. When her first child came along her parents spared no expense and bought best of the best for both her and the baby. Now her child is almost 3, her brother and I have found out we're expecting. She was first to congratulate us all over Facebook and with messages offering her "old" baby stuff.

At first I thought this was nice of her, knowing it was all in great condition and the best of stuff. I thanked her and said we would really appreciate any hand-me-downs that she was finished with, just let us know what she was happy for us to have so we could go and buy the rest. She sent a long list including her £600 cot, which she claimed the child had outgrown, and £400 chest of drawers with built in changing table (I was gob smacked at the price too).

My partner has since been pulled aside by their father, who admitted that the child has not outgrown the cot and she has now approached him to buy a new bed and set of drawers for her child because we "asked for the cot and drawer/changing table set".

This has really upset me, because I feel here she is again demanding for somebody else to buy what she can't afford. We have since declined taking anything she has offered as I didn't want to put their father in a situation that he had to replace them for her. Their father has also offered to buy us the items new instead, which we also declined as I wouldn't want to put him under that financial pressure.

Am I being ridiculous in feeling she is being unreasonable here?

So she is using the situation to get new stuff as her child is growing out of these and saying you have asked for them ?
She sounds a little sneaky and spoilt.

You sound already jaded about her so just refuse saying exactly why and ensure your DP makes it clear to his father.

And get looking on the local FB sites for real bargains

So she offered you some baby stuff then asked her parents to pay for all that stuff to be replaced new? Obviously that's a ridiculous thing to do. If anyone was going to get new stuff obviously it would be you but you've rightly declined since it's not your in laws responsibility to buy.

Sounds like she only offered so she could get new stuff for her child instead. Just refuse everything and get all the bits you need yourself.

She is just trying it on with her parents. Let them deal with it and don’t your knickers in a twist over it

Thank you @BottleOfJameson & @Pancakeflipper makes me feel a bit better that you both see it the same way.

My partner doesn't see any wrong doing hence I was feeling "am I the crazy one?!"

I hope your DH put his father straight that you did not ask for any of her baby bits, that she offered it to you and you had know idea that she would ask them to buy her knew stuff.

But if they are will to buy new then you would like and show them what you would like, hopefully cost less then what SIL Demanding.

This is another problem @Clutterbugsmum my partner is too afraid to rock the boat and said "it's ok, think we would like to have all new things and our own stuff"
Which is completely not the case as I wouldn't be that precious!

If you are struggling to buy stuff there are great bargains on local face bays if that's any help?

Yep definite CF!! Stating that you asked for her old stuff when you didn't, and also asking for replacements for the stuff which was gifted to her baby. Who does that!?! Even if you had asked for stuff, she could have said no or given it then got next stage stuff (eg exchanged cot for new bed). I'd be livid at involving you in a lie to try and rip off her own parents!

Thanks @Theweasleytwins will definitely have a look once we've worked out what we can afford!
I was more upset than anything @AmIRightOrAMeringue that she would do that to her own brother who constantly defends her no matter what she says or does! He still can't see her true colours, but there's no point in me trying to convince him.