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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel discriminated against a tenant?

56 replies

christina1988 · 25/07/2018 12:14

We rent a lovely flat in a nice apartment block and I'm not sure about the legal term but all the owners kind of own a share in the land it's built on (freehold?). There is a service charge and there is a committee of residents who meet and decide on the budget, make decisions about the aesthetics of the place and so on.

There was a notice put on the communal notice board that they are looking for new committee members and that interested parties should contact Mrs M. in flat 10.

I went to her to express my interest and got a really snooty reply that the "commitee is not for tenants, but only for owners", and she then went on to say that she became an outright owner before she was 30, her husband is a doctor, blah blah blah.... and even something along the lines of 'I'm my opinion, only those who own land should be allowed to vote [in general elections!] because they have nothing to lose'. She said that tenants are transitory in nature and asked 'how can one truly be proud of something that isn't theirs?' and that it would not make sense to have tenants on the committee as they'll 'probably have done a moonlight flit within six months'.

I feel absolutely belittled, as though I don't belong in my own home and that I'm not an owner occupier but someone younger than me is... :( I actually had a lie down and a little cry after this morning's exchange.

OP posts:
Original poster
christina1988 · 25/07/2018 22:30

and she left a new notice on the notice board saying:

"This announcement only applies to property owners and tenants need not apply." :((

OP posts:
otterturk · 25/07/2018 22:32

I'm sorry, she was a cow, but she's right on this. It should be clear from the outset though. The sorts of issues they deal with affect owners who are there long term, not transient tenants

9amTrain · 25/07/2018 22:32

Who the fuck is this horrendous sea hag you have for a neighbour?

Original poster
christina1988 · 25/07/2018 22:34

Well yes but she made that abundantly clear today!

and we still treat this place like home and care for it, even though she thinks otherwise. She's a bit of a tartar to say the least but I came to the conclusion that I was NBU for feeling offended by how she'd dressed me down.

OP posts:
Original poster
christina1988 · 25/07/2018 22:35

and she's about 30 but refers to herself as "Mrs. Mxxx" and answered the door with "I'm Mrs Mxxxx" - wtf??

OP posts:
lottiegarbanzo · 25/07/2018 22:42

She was a cow but she's right about the legalities.

The committee is concerned with allocating owners' money to the upkeep of the building. You have no stake in this and should not be empowered to vote on the spending of other peoples' money.

What a Grade A cowbag though. Spectacular!

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 25/07/2018 22:44

"This announcement only applies to property owners and tenants need not apply."

I don’t see a problem with the notice on the noticeboard. You, a tenant, applied so it’s obviously unclear that it’s a property owner thing and needs to be mentioned.

and she's about 30 but refers to herself as "Mrs. Mxxx" and answered the door with "I'm Mrs Mxxxx" - wtf??

I also don’t see what’s wrong with this?

Chocodrops · 25/07/2018 22:46

She sounds awful! YANBU

As a tenant and paying your contribution to the service charge, you should be entitled at least to know how that money is being spent and be able to challenge this if you think it is unreasonable, even if you're not allowed to sit on the committee.

TentUpFirstBunkUpLater · 25/07/2018 22:54

I am more annoyed that John Lewis would only offer me a reduced amount of contents cover because I am a tenant - clearly I am worthless. I have not made ANY insurance claim in my whole life related to contents insurance

My bank's offer is unlimited

Original poster
christina1988 · 25/07/2018 22:58

I was speaking to our neighbour about how she'd spoken to me and suggested that my husband and her husband speak about the interaction and try to patch things up. Apparently her husband finds her constant rudeness, offensive comments and grumpiness 'adorable' and even encourages it. He adores her and she's just a generally unpleasant person. How do people like her do it?? No charm or grace or charisma whatsoever, rude, nasty, judgemental...and yet she lands on her feet, owns property outright and married to a doctor ffs who looks after her and provides for her, tolerates anything and eggs her on. Envy

Where did I go wrong?!

OP posts:
Original poster
christina1988 · 25/07/2018 22:59

oh that's awful. We got ours through endsleigh

OP posts:
WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 25/07/2018 23:03

suggested that my husband and her husband speak about the interaction and try to patch things up.

You’re grown women, OP. If you want to patch things up, you should do it yourselves, not get your husbands involved.

TrippingTheVelvet · 25/07/2018 23:04

Just double checking your previous comment; do you want your husband to tell her husband that she was cheeky to you?

TheOxymoron · 26/07/2018 07:18

Ok, so you can’t be on the owners committee but it would have been nice for her to have said something like “if you do have ideas or issues, let me know and I will happily raise them at the meeting”.

She had no right to belittle you. They have now lost out on somebody that cares.
Sanctimonious bitch!
Flowers for you op.

TheOxymoron · 26/07/2018 07:19

I don’t agree with the husbands having a chat.
That’s saying that men are more important and capable.
Have a chat yourself.

Shitonthebloodything · 26/07/2018 07:57

Are you on good terms with your landlord? I'd make a point of contacting them and asking if they wouldn't mind you representing them at meetings with the bonus to them being they are kept in the loop should anything important arise.

Monkeypuzzle32 · 26/07/2018 08:03

She’s a bitch, she may technically be correct but in a block of flats she should welcome your interest and concern.

ChristmasTablecloth · 26/07/2018 08:05

She actually said non landowners shouldn't be able to vote in general elections? Nah!

ChristyMoore · 26/07/2018 08:05

I’m not sure on the legalities of the committee issue, but I just want to point of that her comments were not the words of a normal, polite person.*

This^^ with bells on. She sounds very odd indeed. I’d probably avoid her (and feel a bit sorry for her) from now on.

ChristyMoore · 26/07/2018 08:05

Ugh bold fail

WaitrosePigeon · 26/07/2018 08:06

Absolute cow.

Tobuyornot99 · 26/07/2018 08:10

"Oh Mrs M,I am disappointed. But I'm sure you're even more disappointed that your husbands salary doesn't stretch to a whole house where you make all the decisions rather than being part of a ghastly committee!"

Biologifemini · 26/07/2018 08:11

Is this 1950s mumsnet? Your husbands sort it out.
She slept with a medic? Did she somehow absorb his qualifications too?
She sounds like a total socially difficult disaster.

Dolphinswimmingupsidedown · 26/07/2018 08:12

You haven’t been discriminated against, you don’t own a share of the property so you can’t be on the committee. Simple. However, she was very rude!

Laiste · 26/07/2018 08:13

She sounds like a cow.

But is your OP about how horrible she was to you or the principal of tenants being allowed on committees like this one though?

I don't understand why on one hand you're mocking her for calling herself Mrs. x but then being ok with the idea of having the menz sorting it out Confused

Have you asked any other members of the committee if this policy about tenants really is the actual committee's rule or just this one woman's opinion?

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