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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Refused Divorce WTF

224 replies

DroningOn · 25/07/2018 10:52

Tini Owens loses Supreme Court divorce fight - www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-44949856

Don't understand how a husband could hold his wife to an unhappy marriage when she wants a divorce so much she's willing to go all the way to the Supreme Court.

Is it a divorce settlement issue or something?

OP posts:
Jonbb · 25/07/2018 11:47

Ironically if she had an affair and used it for grounds for divorce it would have gone through years ago as he couldn't have contested it.

No, you cannot petition for divorce on the ground of your own adultery.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 25/07/2018 11:47

the judge that’s holding this poor lady to ransom needs a good hiding, Oh! That made me giggle Grin

pennycarbonara · 25/07/2018 11:48

Even if lawmakers do want some waiting period to persuade people of a chance to reconcile, 5 years is way too long. If they still want to differentiate, why not 2 years for that, and 1 year for the conditions where it currently says 2 years.

Nikephorus · 25/07/2018 11:49

Seems mad that 'I don't want to be married to X any more' isn't an acceptable ground for divorce. Time for a no-fault system for sure.
It is and there is, it just takes waiting for 5 years!
the judge that’s holding this poor lady to ransom needs a good hiding, it’s not up to to decide, if she wants a divorce, he should just damn well grant her it!
Actually it's called following the law! The divorce will be granted when the STATUTORY 5 year period is up.
Are people incapable of reading.....

makingtime · 25/07/2018 11:50

But it does show that the 'no fault' divorce we all think exists is a figment of our imaginations!

It does exist but only after a separation of two years with consent, or five without.

This is a great example of how the law needs to be changed, but it can't be changed by the judges and they clearly had no alternative than to reject the appeal. Parliament needs to get onto this - it's a shambles.

Quartz2208 · 25/07/2018 11:50

It isnt the judge - contrary to the belief of some (common law aside) judges dont make the law they simply apply the will of Parliament as set out in statute law. They do have some flexibility with interpretation of that application but here its clear they could not go against it.

The judgement of the judges clearly sets out that

Honflyr · 25/07/2018 11:52

Seems mad that 'I don't want to be married to X any more' isn't an acceptable ground for divorce. Time for a no-fault system for sure.
It is and there is, it just takes waiting for 5 years!

That's the problem.

potsetyoghurt · 25/07/2018 11:52

Iamtryingtobenicehere the judges' problem is that they can only apply the law. They can't simply use their own discretion in deciding the case; they have to look at what the law says and (where relevent) what the precedents are.

At least one of the judges has said that they were very uneasy about the decision, but they really can't just do what they think is "the right thing"; they have to apply the existing law.

MingeUterusMingeMingeYoni · 25/07/2018 11:52

Doubt it RB68.

Honflyr · 25/07/2018 11:53

Just say you shagged 5 other blokes with a bigger dick than him and see if he puts in for a divorce because of YOUR adultery Shock

charlestonchaplin · 25/07/2018 11:57

You can't get out of a contract just because that's what you want. There is another party to consider. You should be aware of the terms and conditions of the contract before getting into it. She can have her divorce, she just has to wait five years.

safariboot · 25/07/2018 12:00

Thing is, if no-fault divorce were easier to obtain I'm sure we'd see men exploiting that too. So swings and roundabouts.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 25/07/2018 12:00

I hope you never have need to escape from your partner!

PyongyangKipperbang · 25/07/2018 12:02

You can't get out of a contract just because that's what you want. There is another party to consider. You should be aware of the terms and conditions of the contract before getting into it

But if the other party has broken the T&C's of that cotnract by their unreasonable behaviour or adultery, why should she have to stay within the confines of said broken contract just because he wants her to?

kaytee87 · 25/07/2018 12:04

A marriage is a legally binding contract. It isn't as easily dissolved as some people think.

MotherWol · 25/07/2018 12:05

There's a pretty clear explanation for his motivation to deny the divorce: his behaviour means they're living apart but he still gets to exert control over her by denying her a divorce and he doesn't have any financial liabilities, such as a share of his pension or the sale of any marital assets.

No fault divorce is long overdue, but until that's in place courts should recognise coercive control and emotional abuse when it's as clear as this.

Mousefunky · 25/07/2018 12:06

It happened to my Grandad. My Nan left him one day after 30 years of marriage, didn’t even tell him why. She then refused to divorce, literally just ignored solicitors letters. He had to wait the five years and by that stage had moved on with his now very lovely wife. Horrible situation but sadly the way the cookie crumbles sometimes.

charlestonchaplin · 25/07/2018 12:07

But if the other party has broken the T&C's of that cotnract by their unreasonable behaviour or adultery, why should she have to stay within the confines of said broken contract just because he wants her to?

Pyongyang If she had satisfied the judge that that was the case she would have had her divorce by now.

Clutterbugsmum · 25/07/2018 12:08

I don't understand why he would want to stay married.

They live separately, they are both share holders with their children in the company.

So other then him showing he is a controlling bully what does he hope to achieve.

Alyosha · 25/07/2018 12:09

The husband is clearly an absolute arsehole.

I don't think we should have no fault divorce though; although perhaps the waiting periods could be reduced.

IMO what's the point of marriage if it's as easily dissolved as any other family set up?

Perhaps people should be told prior to marriage that unlike the USA & some other countries we don't have no-fault divorce, and the process of divorce is longer and more expensive.

SomeonesRealName · 25/07/2018 12:09

I came on hoping for a thread on this! What a dreadful situation. The law requiring a five year separation is profoundly abusive, as is the behaviour of anyone who refuses their partner a divorce despite them begging the courts to release them. Thank goodness I was able to be free within 6 months they were the worst 6 months of my life. Time for a change in the law.

NewYearNewMe18 · 25/07/2018 12:10

It shouldn't matter if the reason you want a divorce is flimsy. Wanting a divorce for any reason is enough

Marriage is a legal contract. If your 'flimsy reason' to break a contract stands, it would impact on other contracts.

You can have a 'no fault' divorce after 2 years if both parties agree. He clearly doesn't and is making her wait the full 5 years.

Honflyr · 25/07/2018 12:11

You can have a 'no fault' divorce after 2 years if both parties agree. He clearly doesn't and is making her wait the full 5 years.

Which is what I object to, clearly.

charlestonchaplin · 25/07/2018 12:13

This may not relate to this case but some people take their marriage vows very seriously, to the extent that they cannot agree to divorce. In the case where a person believes divorce is against the will of God, for example.

SomeonesRealName · 25/07/2018 12:13

Oh my goodness a legal contract is it - why didn’t you say so! Oh well in that case it’s entirely reasonable that some people should have to be shackled together for five years after things go wrong and some people shouldn’t.

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