AIBU to be so scared?

[Denise3011]

AIBU to be so scared of my next pregnancy that i’m now genuinely considering not having another child. 😢
Our first baby is almost two.
I’ve always wanted a large family but my first pregnancy was horrendous. I was constantly sick from the week I found out right up to my labour - and during!
I had every pregnancy symptom going, sickness, backache, reflux, etc etc.
My labour lasted over 3 days and was particularly traumatic.
For the past year we have been discussing another baby and I’ve felt excited and broody about it. We always assumed we would have another, so we’ve kept clothes and toys etc as our first born has outgrown them.
We were considering ttc in the new year but last week I ended up in hospital with a viral infection which saw me vomiting all day/night.
I had to have lots of tests in hospital and it’s just made me really scared of going through it all again.
My first pregnancy was exhausting, without a 3 year old too.
I know I want another baby - how do I deal with this fear?

Your second pregnancy might be totally different but you won't have a big family unless you just decide to deal with whatever the pregnancy brings, or you could adopt.

I'm in a similar boat. No useful advice i'm afraid but and I hope it's better next time around if you do decide to go for it.

You talk about trauma, and you have symptoms of post traumatic stress. Speak to your GP about a therapy referral.

My first pregnancy was fine but my labour was horrific and I was terrified of going through it again, my second pregnancy was similar but my birth was totally different- easy and straight forward although I did wait 8 years

No advice on the pregnancy experience, but I had a horrific labour with DC1 so insisted on an elective cesarean for next child. I got confirmation from a consultant that I could have one before I even started trying to conceive as I knew I wouldn't be going through that again. ELC was fantastic and I'm so pleased. I had cholestasis for both pregnancies which was rubbish and both pregnancies were similar, but I know often women have completely different experiences with each child. You're not BU to be scared but there may be things you can do to mitigate your experience.- explore all your options xx

You don’t have to ever have another baby. You really don’t. It’s totally your choice.

Start from that premise and examine why you want a large family? Is that fantasy V reality?

We had 6 so a large family by British standards. I never had any sickness or any unpleasent pregnancy symptoms and if I had ds1 would have been ds1... not oldest of 6.

You might what to rethink what your head feels v your heart or fantasy

I was the same after dd1. After about 2 and a bit years I kind of calmed a bit. Dd2 pg wasn't as bad just acute sickness for 12 weeks then nothing. Dd1 birth was terrifying crash section and v difficult recovery. Dd2 was and is such a lovely child it was all worth it