Heartbroken that I'm being forced to sell mum's house, she worked hard for it and paid her national insurance

[Jkoakham]

And now her savings are running out I will need to sell her house to carry on funding it.

It all seems to very unfair, her house was supposed to be passed to me but instead it's affectively passed to government and private companies.

I thought the dimentia tax had been can cancelled?

I think if you have parents from working class backgrounds who saved hard to buy a house and give a better future to their children you can understand that this is not a fair system

This has been the case for at least 2 decades. It's nothing new.

Are you saying people from working class backgrounds (whatever that means) who own a house shouldn't pay for their care but middle class people, who presumably didn't save for their houses, should? If so, how would you determine who falls into which category?

pisses me off to if your a waster never saved blew all your money the state pick up the bill it stinks .My reasoning for this is to my parent there house is everything when we were kids they both had more than 1 job to fund buying a house holidays few and far between and never expensive clapped out cars and they ploughed all there money into there home there pride and joy .My friends parents holiday cars everything on finance mother worked cash in hand cleaning if they had a £1 they spent it . If my parent need to go into a home they have to sell there house and pay whilst my friends parent who blew everything they downsized to a flat in late 50's and blew equity on holidays the state would pick up the bill how is that fair.

Jack Monroe the cookery blogger/ author who lives well in a nice house and makes money telling people how to live on the poverty line? Jack Monroe who came from a naice middle class family? That Jack Monroe?

Higher taxes are required to fund social care. Alzheimers and other degenerative diseases don't discriminate. We all must contribute as we all do to the NHS vis a vis clinical physical diseases.

We should also look at causes - obestity, depression, diabetes and dementia have all been found to have at least some link to sugar and perhaps also lifestyle so if we can force people into certain life choices in their 30s we might actually be able to reduce the chance of these illnesses of older age actually taking hold on many people.

You'd have to have been living in a bunker for the past 10 years not to know that people have to sell their houses to find care home costs. If they have a house. My parents had to do this for my grandparents, I expect to do it for my parents if they need care home care. As an adult, expecting an "inheritance" is ridiculous. Yes very nice if you do get one (apart from the fact that your parent has died, of course), but absolutely not something to "expect".

National Insurance pays for the NHS, which is massively underfunded in any event. It doesn't cover care home fees.

If my parent need to go into a home they have to sell there house and pay whilst my friends parent who blew everything they downsized to a flat in late 50's and blew equity on holidays the state would pick up the bill how is that fair.

The point is, as has been said multiple times on this thread, what the extra money from their house will give your parents is choice. Choice of a better, cleaner, nicer, more caring home, rather than having to accept the cheapest because that is what the state cares for.

if your parents no longer need their home, why shouldn't it be used to pay for their new (care) home? Why is it 'fair' that you should get it, rather than it being used to give them a better home than they otherwise would have?

cantkeep
my parents goal was to pass it on to me and my sister something they have work hard for and aspired to .If there comes a day where I inhertit anything from there house the only thing i would do with that money it give it to my kids as it will properly be the only way they will ever own a home

But why are your children - or you - more worthy of a home than your parents are worthy of a better care home?

As I have said before, my 'inheritance' from my parents was given when I was still under their roof - the support, education and assistance I needed so that as an adult I would be able to live independently, without expecting support from my parents. That's exactly what I am bringing up my - teenage- children to be able to do - take their place in the world as free-standing adults, not waiting for an inheritance from us but being able to carve their own way in the world.

My parents' house and assets are THEIRS, to be spent on THEM to provide as comfortable and dignified a life as they become extremely elderly (they are around 80, both in good health; my father works full time, my mother is just starting to become a little vague), not in any way to be 'preserved' at their expense for their adult children and teenage grandchildren.

And I still don't understand why your parents' wish to pass the house on to you and your sister should force the rest of society to pay more tax to pay for their social care costs???

A variation on a theme, Can't, no point in arguing with entitled.

And exactly how would you police it, what about people especially working people who have spent their lives on low income and never been able to afford their own homes or private pension? What about severely disabled people who have never worked? Also even What about those people who’ve never worked what do you plan to do with them, reintroduce the asylums or workhouses

The point is, as has been said multiple times on this thread, what the extra money from their house will give your parents is choice. Choice of a better, cleaner, nicer, more caring home, rather than having to accept the cheapest because that is what the state cares for

Not really, if there are not the staff or the homes available, and there isnt, then money doesnt help or at least the sort of money most of us will ever have, house or no house.

It's already policed by the care act. If you haven't the funds to enter into any arrangement for care you have to go through social services and be assessed for eligibility for support. It's the strict criteria laid down by the care act and associated financial assessments that determine whether you self fund, partial fund or have full support.

People really need to do some research before spouting off on here at times. I suggest Age UK is a good place to start for impartial advice on care assessments and funding

Not always lifestyle linked Xenia. My grandmother continued to ride, muck out the horses and walk long distances until about 73/4 when her memory started to fail. In fact she walked miles up and down and rpund and rpund the geriatric mh home until she forgot to walk.

Vascular dementia is lifestyle linked. That is only one kind of dementia. For most people with dementia there is no known cause.

Actually I don't think you are unreasonable at all. I have no idea why dementia is differentiated from other illnesses and treated differently. It's a lottery. Plenty of old people maintain their faculties until death. The current system is a complete lottery and the costs of care are extortionate.

Ps op have you tried to apply for Chc funding. It's very difficult to get but if her needs are more medically based than social she should have a shot.

Crunchymint, have you got a link to support your assertion that vascular dementia is lifestyle linked?

We know it's a lottery but, given that dementia doesn't even feature in the new NHS ten year plan, it's not going to change any time soon.

Cardiovascular disease - and therefore vascular dementia - is linked to high blood pressure, high cholesterol and being overweight in mid-life.

www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/types-dementia/risk-factors-vascular-dementia#content-start

Thank you for the link Crunchymint.

@Hotpinkangel19 your dad would probably have qualified for Chc. I suspect you shouldn't have needed to pay for his care.