AIBU t be cross as this

[daffodilbrain]

Best fiends business has recently gone under they've been through the mill but they do have some other revenue sources and are a long way from penniless. BF has turned around and said they are thinking of settling up in competition to us (small niche market) and proceeded to justify why I explained how unhappy I would be and asked her not to do this. Fact is I'm fuming my DH. Has put a lot of time and effort into this and I won't see his efforts go down the drain. I'm more upset as I've listened to many dramas over the years, dropped everything at times to help her pick up the pieces and she repays me by wanting to steal my market - morally how ca that be right!

"Best fiends...

I'd say your typo was spot on, unfortunately.

Haha! Typed too quickly in a hurry!

If your business model is strong enough you'll get through it. If not, then there was always going to be a time that someone would set up in competition.

Do the people have the required skills? If limited skills are required, is it really that niche?

I'd be annoyed, but you have no right to tell them what they can or cannot do for work.

I'd be annoyed as something similar happened to me, but three years on people still ask for me as they knew me first and trusted me.
Hopefully, you'll be well known enough to carry on and not have business effected too much.

It's shit but as others have said, you'll weather the he storm if it happens - business wise, maybe not friendship wise.
I've had this happen a lot.
Previous colleagues assume they're capable of setting up a similar business whilst still working, ask for pointers.
I used to be highly indignant, but now I nod and smile.
Most will give up soon after starting, if your model is sound, your buyers well looked after, try not to worry. Oh and copyright the fuck out of everything you can. You'll be surprised at how much friends will assume you 'won't mind' if they borrow images, posts etc.

Bombardier is right, if the model is good you’ll be fine (won’t hurt to point out their track record to your customers too). Chances are someone was always going to compete sooner or later and it may be a case of better the devil you know.

It’s still shit and you are far from unreasonable to be pissed about it.

Possible solutions -

1. is it a big enough market that you can somehow bring them into your business and use them to help grow it together? That kind of depends on whether they will actually add any value to your business (maybe they grow the company in one regiIon and you do another) or will they just be along for the ride.

2. is it a price competitive market or is there more to it than that. If there is, just be confident you know the market better and and provide a better service. Competition isn’t always bad on that front, they could be bringing new customers to the market who ultimately end up moving to you.
   However if it’s just a limited pool of buyers and price is the be all and end all for the customer, then maybe you just explain that to BF. Highlight how small the market is and point out that by competing you just will harm each other.

Is there anything associated with your business that you’ve thought about adding but don’t have the time? Maybe they can do that side

Just some random ideas, probably useless. If all else fails call them a twat and delete her!

Thanks all. Wise words. Admittedly there are only 3 main competitors customers would be comparing us but the business side is not why I'm upset we can deal with competition. It's the fact that she has been my best friend for over 30 years and thinks it's morally acceptable to set up in competition. That's not what friends do

I think it's really weird she'd even thinking about going into competition against you. What a shitty thing to do.

An update for anyone who's listening as I'm sat here thinking about it all.... so BFF told me I lacked empathy had no idea what she's gone through etc and asked me not to get in touch with her for a few weeks... Sod's law I called her by accident and again she emailed telling me not to contact her... Roll fwd to the week end and I called a mutual friend up to discuss a planned girls week end way next year and I was going to say... I think there may be a problem.. however first bff had been on and (partly) explained -leaving out the bits about telling not to speak to speak to her. bff is apparently in a good place having been away twice in hols and landscape is Looking brighter which is good. However I feel she's classically blame shifted.i did not cause her business problems I've picked the phone up at all hrs when she's needed me, the only thing I've 'done wrong' was to ask her not to discuss her plans to set up against me (esp whilst I was on holiday) and to be honest and tell her I wasn't happy at her plans. Thing is we have this big girls weekend away planned for next year I've said to mutual friend I'll make an excuse of work/childcare and say I can't go as I don't want to spoil anything and bff can be an awful drunk and I'm worried she'll start something. mutual
Friend said it won't work without me as I'm the one who keeps us all together. I'm so fed up and didn't ask for this situation and didn't go looking for it at all. I hate confrontation.Any words of wisdom?

Let’s be honest here, they are complete assholes to do this. I hope they don’t damage your business but they quite possibly will.

They will never not be assholes if they do this. Even if it fails and they move on to something else they will always be a bit tainted for having done this to a friend.

Cut them off.

pull out of the girls weekend.
Let those you care about know that you have fallen out with Bf. Give a very simple reason, don;t go into all the ins and outs - I was unhappy she wanted to set up in competition to me, and then she asked me not to contact her. Don't discuss further.

Let them decide what to do with the girls weekend.

Take a step back for the moment

If she's likely to be drunk and spoil your weekend away, then it doesn't matter that you're the glue of the group and it won't be the same without you. That's not your problem. She's created this situation, it's a shitty thing to set up a direct niche competitive business as your best friend, and operate in the same area. She's specifically targeting your customers.

If you can't be around each other, down to her underhand behaviour, then your friends shouldn't expect you to go. If they want you to go, then she doesn't. It's not picking sides, it's the only way you can attend. If they are still wanting her to go too, then they shouldn't be making you feel bad that you're not. They should show some understanding, by expecting you both to be there, it's like they haven't acknowledged her shitty behaviour, or the way it has affected you.

Just calmly explain, you would love to go, but she's massively crossed a line and then had the audacity to complain that you don't like it! Then, let them "enjoy" this weekend, and arrange something else with them for another time.

Back away and stay away. She will know why if you don't actually want to tell her to fuck off.
She needs fucking off imo.
And cancel the trip, you won't enjoy it anyway.

I'm so sorry OP. I also run a business and would be pretty hurt if a friend did the same, even though what I do is pretty common. You just have to rise above it and sadly write-off a friendship.

It's not very nice of your holiday-planning friend to guilt you like this either, but they might not fully understand the emotions around your situation. Just say that timings don't work for this holiday and stick to your guns.

Hi op,she is not your friend.
Cut off all contact.unfortunately she will probably know a lot about your own business,contacts,suppliers,customer's etc(I wonder if she has contacted any?)and may try to undercut you.
She is not going to play nice so fight for your business and protect it and do not give her any head space,concentrate on being the best out there.
Wishing you every success.
P.S. You're right to not go away with her,it would be a disaster.

I think you are being a bit precious. You don't get dibs on the market. Unless they steal your intellectual property or try to steal clients in an underhanded manner I don't think it was reasonable for you to voice your displeasure. You are like one of those girls in high-school who buys a designer handbag and then doesn't let yer buy the same one when they say they like it. You are being quite controlling really.

I agree with PP - cancel the trip. Ensure your “friends” know exactly why.

Following the fall out of this it will become clear which of them are true friends worth keeping.

I completely disagree with racecardriver.

There is a massive distinction to be made between copying someone’s fashion sense and their business!