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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wait till after the holiday to tell Him

52 replies

Sophisticatedsarcasm · 24/07/2018 22:26

Back story is. DP is very paticular about everything especially where he parks his car at night. As we live all together with my Mum he has one drive and my brother has the other (weird house layout) anyway my mum told me today one of my brothers 6 cars is now broken and stuck in dps drive until further notice and also told me that she getting a skip in a few weeks so he will have to park on the road. I don’t wanna being it up with him now as we are having a wonderful holiday and I know he will get pissed. Personally I couldn’t give a shit and as we are living at my mums house it’s entirely up to her. But I know as soon as he knows he’s gonna start stressing about the insurance.

OP posts:

Atthebottomofthegarden · 24/07/2018 23:04

I doubt it will cost much to change the insurance. Next time he renews his insurance probably better to say it is street parked overnight if it is not always going to be possible to park on the drive...

I wouldn’t tell your DP until you’re back from holiday - it’s not like he can do anything about it. Can DP and DB share the other drive or is that not possible with the layout?

redshoeblueshoe · 24/07/2018 23:06

laand I was thinking that too

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea · 24/07/2018 23:18

Insurance companies are wankers to be honest - our car insurance went UP after we told them we'd moved house & would no longer be parking on the street, but in a garage at the end of a long drive only accessible by electric gates. The reasoning? We'd moved to a nicer area, so cars there were more attractive to thieves... (except that ours was the same complete shitheap it had been before).

Can your DP not just ask your brother if he can use one of his six(!) parking spaces instead? Presumably DB won't be needing it if his car is on your drive?

callmeadoctor · 24/07/2018 23:20

Why are you having to tell your DH? Why doesn't his mum tell him? (stay out of it)

callmeadoctor · 24/07/2018 23:21

Your mum (sorry)

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 24/07/2018 23:22

Did your brother's car somehow expand to the size of two or three cars when it broke down? If not, how is it taking any more space than when it was working? If both drives fit three cars (or even if DP's usual one only fits one), there must be three other drive spaces available? Even with the broken car and the skip there, that still leaves between 2 and 4 spaces for working/in use cars, so brother can have 1-3 and DP can have the other one. Why does your brother get to monopolise both drives? I know he's not your Mum's actual child, if that's her consideration, but you are, so surely you also have a right to at least one space, which you can then 'gift' to your DP. Presumably, you also benefit from the use of DP's car, whether as a driver or passenger?

Even if your DP is precious about having 'his' space and has to accept that he'll have to use a different drive-space, I still don't see why he should have to park on the road whilst your brother gets all of the drive-spaces (minus the one needed for the skip).

user1andonly · 24/07/2018 23:23

Any reason why DH can't use one of the spaces on your brothers designated drive?

Either way yanbu to not mention anything till you are on your way back from your holiday.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 24/07/2018 23:24

I know he's not your Mum's actual child

Referring to your DP, of course - not your brother.

thegreatbeyond · 24/07/2018 23:27

Is your brother Jay Kay, and are all the cars Aston Martins and whatnot?

Anxious2niteaaah · 24/07/2018 23:31

Just tell him...if he can afford six cars then I'm sure he can afford to have one repaired....why does he need six?.

Ghanagirl · 24/07/2018 23:37

Why are you all living with your Mum?

userxx · 24/07/2018 23:37

This 6 car thing is sounding very familiar 😏

Armchairanarchist · 24/07/2018 23:41

Move. I don't think you're husband is being reasonable to react so badly when it's not even his house.

LineRunner · 24/07/2018 23:41

I've read this before.

BlackCloudofGloom · 24/07/2018 23:47

Anyway, why not get a permit and put the skip on the road?

Bramble71 · 24/07/2018 23:49

Don't tell him till you're back home from your holiday. If he's relaxed and worry-free, let him be.

As a fellow anxiety sufferer, I've had the exact same thoughts on cars and where they are parked overnight. Your DP is not alone. Worries like this might sound daft to those who don't suffer with anxiety, but they can't be helped and belittling him is thoughtless and wrong.

If there really is no way to move your brother's cars around, then I reckon speaking to the insurance co might help to reassure him. It would me.

AdoraBell · 25/07/2018 00:01

Leave it, enjoy your holiday. When we are back and he finds out say -oh, I thought she would have told you “. Then change the subject.

GreatWesternValkyrie · 25/07/2018 00:42

Not mention the other neighbours park like dicks so barely any extra parking. My brother has 6 cars...

Hmmmm.....I’ll go out on a limb and say perhaps there may be a connection here!!!

Tell your partner when you get back if you think he’ll let it ruin your holiday, then tell him to notify the insurance company of a temporary change of parking situation.

Your poor neighbours, do you really think that they they are the cause of “barely any extra parking” when your family has at least 7 vehicles?

Sparkles1992 · 25/07/2018 00:50

Imagine only having to worry about where your car was parked

GreatWesternValkyrie · 25/07/2018 00:57

I missed the oneliner saying 3 of your brothers cars aren’t there right now, so you have drive space for 4 cars and your currently have 4 cars.

So you park one of your brothers cars in the road when the skip comes or rehome it for a while - or as pp said, skip in road. It doesn’t need to be the cause of any anxiety then.

Notsurprisedatall · 25/07/2018 01:05

Tell your brother to sell some cars... No need for it, especially if he can't afford his own place.

usernameismyusername · 25/07/2018 02:14

Do you think it's normal op to be so concerned about your husband's reaction to something so trivial?

Want2bSupermum · 25/07/2018 02:21

He is your DP. I'd think long and hard before making him your DH. I would love for this to feature in my top 10 or top 20 issues to deal with. It's a car. It's not broken down or broken into. It's perfectly safe on the street. It's short term while the skip is there. Call the insurance and tell them it's short term if that will give you peace of mind.

I will properly wet myself laughing if your DPs car is a 20 year old Ford Mondeo.

Eliza9917 · 25/07/2018 10:47

Yes, what car does your DP drive OP?

DontCallMeCharlotte · 25/07/2018 10:50

So if your brother doesn’t care too much, can he not let your partner take one of his spaces when the skip arrives?

My thoughts exactly. Problem solved.

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