To say no!

[Peaches39]

So to cut the story short I have a very good friend that I love and respect . On few occasions we have spoken about going to a spa together while husbands look after kids, (for the record husbands are very good friends ). Last weekend she mentioned that she is looking to book a spa since her birthday was coming up and mentioned her husband will be babysitting. I asked her who is she going with & she said she was planning of going with another friend of ours. I was slightly taken a back as she didn't mention anything to me anything and didn't even ask me that day if I wanted to go. I was a bit annoyed but didn't say anything. Today she sends a a group what's up message to me, another friend & the friend she was originally planning to go with asking us if we wanted to go . Would it be unreasonable to say no out of principle & would you feel annoyed. If a good friend did this to you . Thank you in advance

I think as an afterthought, I would say no and say that you thought you were meant to be going with just her. I would not be impressed.

No, maybe she just assumed you wanted to go because you'd already spoken about it

Maybe it was the other friend who had The initial idea so she didn’t want to invite other people without checking first?

Either way I wouldn’t cut off your nose to spite your face

Maybe she said the friend because you said and who are you planning on going with? Which could be taken as not you?

Or she just hadnt thought it through?

Anyway, why puniah yourself
By not going?

I'd assume the conversation about the birthday spa was a continuation of the original conversation and I was automatically included, and the other person was an add on.

Would it be unreasonable to say no out of principle - could you clarify that principle ?

She's been talking to her other friend about booking, they both think it would be fun if you went as a four so have made a group WhatsApp to arrange it!
I don't think there is anything wrong with that. If you like the other 2 go. If not, don't!

If you want to go I wouldn't say no on principle. Who knows what went on - maybe she'd also been discussing it with the other friend and that friend was more proactive about setting a date etc. If she has form for using you as a second choice then I'd back off from her but I'd give her the benefit of the doubt for a one off.

How do you know you were an afterthought. Maybe she mentioned it in that way to sound out a group trip. Maybe the other friend arranged it hence why she was mentioned. Don’t cut off your nose to
Spite your face.

I wouldn't go. no.

Wtf I would go if I wanted to.

This is how most plans start. Two people make a plan and then invite others. If they didn't want you to go you wouldn't be invited?