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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu death in oh family

10 replies

jmh740 · 24/07/2018 19:08

So ss is 21 this week having a big party Saturday 200miles away from us, we'd booked a hotel and our dc were going to grannies for the night. Today oh found out on fb his uncle had died,the funeral is Saturday, oh decided we can't go to the party and he wants to go to the funeral on his own he says he wants to be there for his dad and there are other family members staying at his dad's. oh will sleep in his dad's room with him so there's no room for me. I have only met his uncle once we've been together 14years ( this was at mils funeral). I've rung my mum to say she doesn't have to have the children and she's said it's a odd situation I'm family and I need to put my foot down and tell him I'm going, and really she thinks we should go to the party rather than the funeral or I should go to the party on my own I really don't want to go to the party on my own, but feel a bit sad oh doesn't want me to go to the funeral with him. His dad lives about 400 miles away ss lives in the middle so I've suggested he goes to see him on the way home on Sunday and takes him out for lunch. Aibu to feel a bit sad that oh separates the different aspects of his life.

OP posts:
MuddyMoose · 24/07/2018 19:11

I can't see the issue personally. If you aren't going to the funeral why cant you go to the party? Also, I think your DP should go to the funeral whether that's to pay his respects or support his family.

mummmy2017 · 24/07/2018 19:12

No your allowed to feel upset, but in this instants just let him go. And don't go to the party either, just send a nice gift...
It isn't about you not being family, it's just your DH wanting to support his dad...
Don't let other influence you, and make a mountain out of a mole hill.

Hadjab · 24/07/2018 19:13

YANBU I’m afraid - you only met the Uncle once, and your husband clearly doesn’t feel you need to be there. Your mum is also BU - what’s there to put your foot down about? Just go to your SS’s party.

Bluelady · 24/07/2018 19:15

I'd go to the party.

PositiveVibez · 24/07/2018 19:16

Sorry, who is as? Step-sister? Step-son?

Of course he wants to be there for his dad.

You just go the party and let your husband go and support his dad.

Not seeing the issue tbh.

ilovesooty · 24/07/2018 19:19

I think your mother should mind her own business.

NewYearNewMe18 · 24/07/2018 19:19

Today oh found out on fb his uncle had died - really ?

he says he wants to be there for his dad and there are other family members staying at his dad's. oh will sleep in his dad's room with him so there's no room for me This is understandable, he wants to support his father, no point dragging you off to a funeral. Clearly it's some sort of bloke bonding thing and he wants to be with his family . That's not a slight on you, there just isn't sufficient room for you, and he quite probably doesn't want the expense and hassle of a hotel.

Go to your SS party ( is that step sister?).

Party doesn't trump funeral, sorry. You can both deal with your own respective family commitments.

Anya278 · 24/07/2018 19:22

Not sure who SS is, but I'm not really seeing why you can't go to the party?

jmh740 · 24/07/2018 19:43

It's step sons 21st my husband's son. The party is over 200 miles away I'd have to drive there on my own and the only person I'd know from the 100 invited is step son.

OP posts:
jmh740 · 24/07/2018 19:45

I also feel sad for step son that his dad won't be there for his 21st

OP posts:
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