To want to move closer to my parents?

[Teasavedmylife]

Sooo... posted this elsewhere on MN and received zero comments! I’d love some help with this! so have rephrased a bit to make relevant to AIBU...

I’m feeling more and more that I want to move closer to my parents (4hrs away from
where we are now)... AIBU?
I’m a SAHM and OH is a project consultant who could be based anywhere.

The positives

• Mum has volunteered 2 days childcare a week... free! Well I’d have to make her coffee and cakes probably.
• Close to parents if they have problems
• My parents want to be involved in our DCs lives and often visit us
• could afford 3 bed house with no mortgage (we need to move somewhere bigger than the 2 bed we have now due to newborn arriving any day now!)

The negatives

• OHs mum and sis live about an hour away from us currently, but we don’t see them much (not great relationship)
• OH grew up round here so she’s still got a network of school friends, who are lovely and we see lots
• We’ve lived in our current area for 5 years and have started to build a network of “new” friends in this area linked to my toddler
• to get a 3 bed house here we’d need a sizeable mortgage

To me it kinda completely makes sense to move but to OH it doesn’t (and I can kind of understand why - her life has always been here)

Would the free childcare mean you would be sharing the workload and financial cost?

I wouldn't want to finance a move that would make my unhappy and move my from all my friends etc.

If you and your OH both have a good relationship with your parents then, given your list of 'pros', I would see that as a good starting off point to discuss the issue with your partner.

Grown ups DO move around, I would say about 40% of my class from school have left the city where we grew up, and I've moved 150 miles away (to be closer to my Mum, ironically enough!)

If your OH works all over the place, then the things tying them to where you currently live just boil down to 'This is how we've always done things', which is the pathway to stagnation. Try and frame it as a wonderful fresh start, an opportunity to be mortgage-free (lucky you!) and to make new friends with the added bonus of a supportive family network and FREE childcare!

It's so easy to stay in touch these days, some friends may fall away over the years, but others will be made and it's a new adventure for your little family!

I still go back to my 'home' city every couple of months to visit my Dad and see old friends, but I love arriving back in my new city, and being closer to my Mum is as brilliant as I'd anticipated. Good luck!

@BoxsetsAndPopcorn
Eventually yes, it would mean that I would be more able to return to work (newborn expected any day now so probably not for at least a year). My toddler is already in nursery a day a week down here to help give me a break in pregnancy so we’d have an immediate saving of about £350 a month

@BetsyBigNose
thanks for your input. Much appreciated. I think if the kids were older it would be a harder decision as they’d be more established in schools etc, but realistically my son won’t remember being down here!
Yep we both have a great relationship with my parents (well I haven’t heard anything but minor complaints in 12 years!)