... obviously, not including definite situations of grief or pain, but say crying because of frustration, having difficulty coping or taking something in?
I was a kid who cried a lot when frustrated, for example having difficulty doing a task, at perceived (real or otherwise) bullying etc. One of the worst things about it was, every now and then, I'd have an adult hissing at me that I was being a spoiled brat and crying wasn't going to get consolation, attention, 'my way' etc. But I never wanted attention or to be consoled - I was mortified by my crying and wanted the ground to open up and swallow me and everyone to leave me alone because I felt so embarrassed (I would get away from people if I could and I did not want anyone coming after me), but I also found it almost impossible to stop myself from crying. It was only a few times that I encountered adults who used the 'brat' line, but it made such an impression that my crying got even worse because every time I did it, I then thought 'And now every thinks I'm a nasty little brat because I'm crying' and found it even harder to stop.
I've talked about this with my husband as DD (10) is a bit of a crier (though not as bad as me) and sometimes when he's had enough he mutters to me that she must be trying to 'achieve' something by crying, so I've told him my experience. He has said he realises he doesn't respond to it well and we're going to talk about it some more.
Has anyone else had any experience like mine? Or do you think there's always something manipulative there, even if you don't think so yourself when you're upset?