To be cross and make dd do school work throughout the holidays?

[Groundcabbage]

Dd is not an A star student and has some learning issues but that's fine,as long as she tries her hardest that's all I ask.

Dd was on target was nothing below a C which we were thrilled with. She knows what she wants to do and she needs those Cs.

Dd has also been quiet and tried her hardest however a few months ago a child moved into her class and she started to hang around with her at school. We will call her X. X finds learning easier than dd but has various issues and is always of the attitude of what's the point as we are going to fail anyway and encourages dd to mess about and not put effort in. Something which has previously never been an issue. I have told dd previously that people like X do this and then always pull it out at the last moment and pass.

Dd has started repeating this herself about being no point.
On parents evening last week which has never been anything but positive I was told that dd has not put anything but the minimum effort in not to get in trouble and hadn't even tried on her exams. She's failed massively on her mocks and is being moved to low sets and foundation papers.

Aibu to be cross she is throwing her chances away for someone else? Interesting X scored really well as expected.

End y10?

I'd be a bit cross too.

There is only so much you can 'make' a 15yo do though. Can you keep talking about plans, and how will she feel if she doesn't get her Cs (4s) this time next year. She doesn't want to have 'if only I had tried' feelings.

I'd go for carrot & stick. Agree with her work to be done this holidays e.g.

• make revision notes for all science studied so far
• make quote lists for set texts
• review maths exam and use a workbook to practice key topics

Maybe agree work load, e.g. no work for first 2 weeks. Then x hours per week until work done. For every X hrs done / work completed she gets a reward. If Xhrs not done in week then sanctions such as phone removal.

Getting up at 8am instead of 10am she could get 2 hrs done per day without it eating into socialisation. And make a big difference. 2hrs per day, 5 days a week, for 5 weeks = 50hrs.

Ask her teachers what they recommend. Teenage friendships can be supportive or destructive, but it is very difficult for the teens themselves to change friends, even if they can understand the negative effects of staying with the damaging ones. Have you any family members she likes and admires who could help you with this, so that she can see that working hard is worth it, even if she won't be getting top grades? I have often had to say to students that a reference saying someone is a conscientious and hard worker is worth having regardless of grades.

Have a look at entry criteria for sixth forms and colleges. She will soon see that 5s open doors.

Her teachers were massively disappointed in her. They have given her lots of links to things to do in the holidays but she hadn't got the sheet anymore... I've been asking her for three days to sort it!