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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS has applied to a "no cooking" university. He loves cooking. This is madness, isn't it?

443 replies

Thesearepearls · 23/07/2018 21:12

Just that really. DS's first choice university (we've just done the application for halls) is a no-cooking university. The cooking facilities comprise a toaster, kettle and microwave. There is no cooking allowed for the entirety of his university course.

If you'd asked me what DS would do in a future life I would have given you two choices. The first is singing (he was a cathedral chorister and loves classical music). The second is that he would be a chef. He is absolutely gutted that he won't be able to cook. He cooks for us all the time. He's really keen on it and he is beyond disappointed that the next three years of his academic career will involve zero cooking.

It's total madness isn't it?

OP posts:
sharkirasharkira · 23/07/2018 22:01

Regardless of anything else, I find it completely ridiculous that there exists a uni where people can’t cook.

It is an essential life skill ffs!

They need to learn how to cook for their long term well being. Uni isn’t just about academic classes, its about life lessons too and this is one of them.

VanillaSugar · 23/07/2018 22:02

DH went to a very old Cambridge college and they had a kitchen where he made baked bean pie with a fried egg on top for lunch everyday.

Well, if it IS Oxbridge, he's only there for 24 weeks of the year so he can still cook for you at home Grin

Original poster
Thesearepearls · 23/07/2018 22:03

DS has just landed home and started cooking :)

I do get the point that a university education is not necessary for a chef. I think people take time to get to their own thing and for DS it was kind of expected (by his school maybe, by us maybe?) that he would go to university. But food is definitely right up there as one of his big big loves.

The University concerned is indeed Cambridge - I don't want to name the college - that just wouldn't be fair. The college concerned does not encourage living out and prides itself upon providing live-in accommodation for its undergraduates.

OP posts:
wellBeehivedWoman · 23/07/2018 22:07

Well then it's hardly madness if he spends less than half the year living in halls Hmm I'm sure he'll manage to make up for it in the holidays. And he's likely to be so busy with work anyway that he'll be glad to be saved the hassle of cooking!

I don't envy him 3 years in halls though. It was a great way to make friends in first year but I was ready to scream from the stresses of communal living by the end.

OrdinarySnowflake · 23/07/2018 22:09

So he's got into Oxford or Cambridge then.

Perhaps this is a time to have a sit down chat about what he actually wants to do with his life.

I have friends who did very well at GCSE, and then did 4 tough A levels, because that's what you do with great GCSEs. And then they were asked what they wanted to read and at which Uni - no one stopped to ask students predicted 4 As at A Level if they wanted to go to uni at all. Many were pushed towards Law, because that's what you advise the super bright kids to do who aren't interested in sciences. Law at a great uni, fabulous. Then they were encouraged to apply for training contracts to do the post grad and well done, they got those. Several got to 30 and realised they weren't doing what they wanted to do with their lives - they just kept doing things well so bobbed along. The woman at least had the 'get out' of reassessing after DCs.

Sorry, that's a waffle, but basically, if your DS wants to be a chef, tell him he shouldn't be going to Oxford/Cambridge just because he can get in. He doesn't have to take the place just because it's offered. Can he defer for a year, go to catering college? see what he'd like to do?

If it's this much of a big deal, then perhaps this isn't the best career path for him to be on, just because others would consider him lucky to have the chance of it.

LoveProsecco · 23/07/2018 22:10

It's unusual but as long as the quality & choice of food was good it can be done.

BerysWheel · 23/07/2018 22:10

Then why didn't he apply to a college that allows living out in second and third year, or that doesn't have sit down meals every evening.

My sister went to Cambridge, and wanted to be able to cook for herself so that she wasn't bound to certain mealtimes, so she purposefully chose a college that allowed her to do just that.

MycatsaPirate · 23/07/2018 22:11

Is this just a stealth boast that you have a teenager who cooks healthy, delicious food for the entire family without asking?

I'm lucky to get a coffee made for me.

goodbyestranger · 23/07/2018 22:13

Well he should have applied to Oxford then all mine have been able to cook for themselves at 'ancient' colleges and it's a better uni too :) As PP said, a total non issue.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 23/07/2018 22:13

Three 8-week terms. It won't kill him.

My son's Oxford college provided accommodation for all three years. It was excellent value compared to most universities. All three places he lived in had excellent cooking facilities.

OrdinarySnowflake · 23/07/2018 22:13

oh X posted!

You need to have a chat with him. tell him just because it's expected he'll go to uni doesn't mean he has to. Just because he's got an offer from Cambridge, doesn't mean he has to go.

If he can defer for a year and go to catering college, I'd encourage that. At least he'll know and he can turn down the Cambridge place if it's really not going to be for him.

LetBartletBeBartlet · 23/07/2018 22:13

He will undoubtedly find that there isn't really time for "hobbies" in term time, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem.

It's easy to underestimate just how grateful you might be for a cooked meal at a set time (with no prep or washing up required) when you've got a deadline or two fast approaching.

HannahHut · 23/07/2018 22:14

I don't think it's unnecessary to find out what you want to do, but if he is sure that he wants to do why waste the money? Might as well use it to pay for a really good culinary school instead. I say this from my experience as a recent graduate with friends who completed their courses and didn't like/want anything to do with their degrees. Some are now unable to redo their education action while others are spending a lot to go back to learn another skill. Iykwim.

FASH84 · 23/07/2018 22:15

@SueDunome you can cook at Durham, been there, cooked there. Also most students don't live in past first year

Original poster
Thesearepearls · 23/07/2018 22:15

Not a stealth boast no - which is why I was trying not to name the university

DS can sit and talk about cinnamon forever (moussaka versus bolognaise). Perhaps this is a versatility thing - perhaps he talks to me about food because that is our common interest and lord knows I know nothing whatsoever about theoretical physics. But I think this is where his real interest is.

OP posts:
Skinandbones · 23/07/2018 22:16

This could be a great way to get inventive with his cooking, lots of Lebanese and Moroccan dish could be cooked in the microwave, couscous, bulger wheat and polenta don't take a long time to cook. Lots of different salads.

MycatsaPirate · 23/07/2018 22:16

On a more serious note, this rule made me think of two things.

It explains why a large percentage of well educated young men who have been through a prestigious University seem unable to grasp basic life skills.

So how do they eat? No-one should (or would want to) exist on microwave food alone. So are they expected to eat out or is there a dining hall?

And is an indication that these Universities expect their students to be wealthy?

LadyPeterWimsey · 23/07/2018 22:18

DS is at a college in Cambridge, which doesn't promote cooking for yourself and has minimum facilities. He's an eat-to-live sort of person so no cook, but is also too tight with money to eat in Hall all the time so has cooked for himself a fair amount. In the tiny kitchen he has a toaster, a kettle, a mini hob with two rings and a fridge (no freezer). It's surprising how much you can make with minimum kit. And he's hardly gone before he is home again, emptying my fridge. To be honest I'm surprised he even has time to cook, as he is so busy (although not really with work Hmm).

If your DS loves cooking, then he will cook even with very few facilities, and as everyone else has pointed out, he will cook when he gets home.

tappitytaptap · 23/07/2018 22:19

I was at Oxford for 4 years and had the same for the first 3, for people saying it can't be true. We weren't even allowed microwaves though I had one which I used to cook porridge and the odd ready meal if I missed dinner. We didn't have an evening meal provided on saturdays nor cooking facilities either so basically had to eat out or have cold food. Don't worry OP, I love cooking now Wink

LoniceraJaponica · 23/07/2018 22:20

"It explains why a large percentage of well educated young men who have been through a prestigious University seem unable to grasp basic life skills."

Interestingly, one of DD's freinds who is hoping to go to Oxford said the same thing. He said that too many Oxford students are babied while they are there and don't know how to look after themselves. He wants to move out of halls after the first year for this reason.

CaptainCabinets · 23/07/2018 22:21

Cinnamon in spaghetti bolognese?

Noooooooo

frogsoup · 23/07/2018 22:22

Well the first thing he needs to learn about university living is which rules are really rules and which are honoured mainly in the breach. I can guess which college you mean (there aren't many that insist on college meals), but if he wants to do some sneaky cooking now and again I'm sure he'll find a way. I hid my illegal shower attachment (for the bath - god knows why they weren't allowed) and sandwich toaster away in a cupboard pretty much every morning for four years Grin.

goodbyestranger · 23/07/2018 22:22

Lonicera your DD's friend hasn't got a clue. He isn't there yet.

mirialis · 23/07/2018 22:23

I love cooking, always did and I am a chef now. At uni all my friends marvelled at what I could produce with the very limited facilities and our very limited budgets (on the odd occasion we weren't just getting a bag of chips for 50p from the local chippy and spending all the rest of our cash on booze). It made me more inventive and resourceful and I did a very academic degree and had no intention of working in catering. If he loves cooking as much as you say he does, this will be good for him by a) limiting the amount he can do so he doesn't fanny about too much with cooking when he should be getting on with other stuff (both study and socializing) and b) really stretch his skills and imagination and make him very popular amongst the other students!

DadDadDad · 23/07/2018 22:23

Well, while he's in Cambridge, he might want to check this out - I'm sure there's something there that will grab his interest:
cambridgecookery.com/cook/

He could make friends with some townies and offer to cook them a meal. (I live within cycling distance of Cambridge, just about Grin ).

And of course, there are always societies to join: www.cusu.co.uk/groups/food-society-cufs-cambridge-university