to think that if I want to buy a homeless person a coffee I can?

[SuperMassiveIssue]

In McDonald's. Homeless man taps me on the shoulder at the self service. 'Excuse me miss, I'm homeless and was wondering if you could spare any change' - me: 'I've got no change on me but I will happily buy you a coffee?' - homeless man: 'that would be amazing if you could, thank you so much'

At which point a miserable old git scowled at me and said 'you're just as much of a problem as they are'

I feel angry. We don't do enough for the homeless in the UK in my opinion and actually, what harm is it for me to buy a man a drink?

Probably should've let it go over my head but it's upset me as my brother was homeless for a short while. He's wonderful, generous, kind, and sadly misguided at times. He's turned his life around and I'm so glad for those who bought coffee and food for him whilst he was homeless unbeknownst to his family...

YANBU. I was once at a bar in London sat outside and a homeless woman came up asking for change. There were two women at a nearby table, one went off to do a supermarket shop for her and they sat chatting with her for ages. I was on a date, he rolled his eyes at them. Needless to say I didn't see him again!

No yadnbu!!!! I would have told that person to fuck right off. You did the absolute right thing imho. I never give money as I couldn't live with myself if it went towards a hit that killed them, but i am always happy to buy a tea, coffee, or sandwich. I bring dog treats to work in my pockets every day too for a guy who sits by my work with his dog - it's quite often the highlight of my morning having a chat with him. I completely agree that not enough is being done, but really honestly i have no idea what the solution is.

actually, you'd be amazed at how much they make begging. A lot more than I earn per week working my butt off. Sad but true. They can get free clothes and free food. They also have no responsibilities, council tax, utility bills etc

I do not agree . I see the same homeless
People day in and day out . In the same clothes
The same sleeping bag
With dirty hands
Dirty bodies
Now where to take a shit
Now where to wipe their shit

And I don’t see why giving them money and saying hello doesn’t make them realise another human being acknowledges them as another human .

The homeless people I see don’t seem to be living a carefree council tax free life

And yes I do donate to homeless charities time to time too . And very good they are too

But to offer someone a cuppa or a £1 is NOT a bad thing to do

And frankly if they have a hit and it takes them away from their grinding misery for a few hours . Who am I to Judge ? They won’t get detox treatment anyway

What a twat, I'd have reminded him that being a mc employee was only a step up from the homeless guy. he's only a pay packet away himself.

I've bought a homeless man a hot chocolate before. It was freezing, just before England had all the snow this year and he was outside shivering trying to keep warm. Everyone was walking past him so I went and got him one, I think its the least people can do. I don't give money just incase it is used on drugs but everyone needs to help care for those who can't for whatever reason care for themselves. What a miserable place it must be to live in a world where homeless people are considered a problem rather than victims of circumstance.

The woman I gave £2 yesterday can spend it on whatever she chooses. I thought the concept of the "deserving poor" had gone with the Victorians, sadly that appears not to be the case.

They won’t get detox treatment anyway

@stopfuckingshoutingatme - there are loads of charities, eg Turning Point, offering free drug treatment/rehab, drugs testing etc. They can't make them use the services though.

Oh, and most genuinely homeless people don't beg. The beggars are often professionals who get dropped off in a minibus and spread out through the town to beg. Then they get picked up and go home to their nice comfy houses.

I've had similar when chatting with the man who sits outside our local shop, people tutting and making nasty comments because I've bought him a drink or some food. He tries really hard not to let it bother him but it's obvious it does, although he always says there are more good people than bad. Buying him a drink and chatting for a few minutes never feels enough to me but he says it means the world so don't let ignorant people stop you OP, it does make a difference however small

@mimibunz Oh sorry because every other thread on mn is absolutely necessary

@NoLightInTheTunnel this man was absolutely homeless. I have seen him many a time asleep in a sleeping bag after my shift in the park. Fairly sure he wasn't a professional beggar.

I don't give money to the homeless but have bought a subway for a homeless man.

My theory is if he just wanted money he wouldn't accept the sandwich. But he did and took the meat out to feed his dog.

actually, you'd be amazed at how much they make begging. A lot more than I earn per week working my butt off. Sad but true. They can get free clothes and free food. They also have no responsibilities, council tax, utility bills etc while it's true certain people can make a fair amount begging especially if you're young female and have a dog (although the vast majority don't earn more than an average salary) it's very clearly not a nice lifestyle. If you look at the statistics of why people are homeless it's very sad. Almost all have mental health and/or addiction problems. Many of the women have suffered sexual abuse in their past (often why they became addicted). Many became addicted and homeless as a result of neglect as children, some were unable to cope after leaving the army, some became addicts or homeless after huge disasters in their lives ( a lot of them have had horrible horrible things happen). It is not a lifestyle any of us would choose.

Yeah I think you did exactly the right thing.

For various reasons I've been trying to research what the best way to help homeless people is (according to charities and ex-homeless people). The general consensus seems to be:

1. No cash gifts. Give cash to a charity if you want, but direct cash gifts very often get spent on addictions and just perpetuate the problem by staving off the 'rock bottom' point at which people seek help. I get the argument that they deserve something to get them through the day and it's their choice, but on the other hand addiction isn't actually a choice and it's not good to enable it.

1. Give food, hot drinks, bottled water, sanpro, baby wipes, deodorant, toothbrush, toothpaste (you can make little kits).

1. Meet their eye, acknowledge them, say something - even if it's just "no, sorry." It's incredibly dehumanising to be ignored because people are embarrassed.

I'm no expert by any means but this is the advice I've found.

In Scotland we have this wonderful charity called social bite who employ homeless people to get them back on their feet. The foods lovely and you can 'buy' a meal or coffee for someone or give them the cash and they ensure it's given to someone homeless and in need. I do this every pay day.

People debating on whether it is better to give to charity or not... I do give to a homeless charity. £35 a month which hurts my bank balance but it is the charity that helped my brother. I don't do it for self satisfaction and not a soul knows I donate as my brother doesn't like to be reminded of that time in his life. I don't think anyone wants to be asking for change in the streets. This man is proof that some homeless people do ask for money. He is homeless, he sleeps in a sleeping bag in the park. He says good morning to folks as they walked past and I just wanted to buy him a coffee. I find it incredible that people are lacking in such compassion at times.

I work with the homeless. Yes there are career beggars. I would still rather help everyone than miss someone.

In my mind even IF it's to spend on drugs (though we offer no financial aid only items and food) even IF they make a fortune begging... they are human beings who clearly have ended up where they are in life somehow. A little kindness can make all the difference to someone either turning their life around or simply experiencing a reason to keep breathing, compassion.

If someone chooses to look dirty and downtrodden and sit in the same place all day everyday to make money to spend on drugs as a career beggar imo that is no life. We seem to care so much for stray animals we find in the street who would do better in a different environment and be blind to human beings and I think it's pretty disgusting as a society we close our eyes and tell ourselves it's their own fault. It may well be, but why...

Great post wasit

I get a bit frustrated by charities mandating to ‘not give money ‘

This poses an assumption (and a rather prejudicial one) that all homeless people have addiction issues

Some are homeless due to Job loss
Some to immigration gone wrong
Some to mental health
Some to poverty and eviction
Some to DV

Who are the charities to say I can’t give them a quid ?

This is my issue with John Bird. He says that all homeless people are there because of addiction. I was homeless because my psycho landlady threatened to stab me with 2 steak knives.

Despite the many reasons someone could become homeless, research indicates that the majority of people who beg on the street are addicted to drugs. Homeless charities aren't saying you can't give a quid, they're saying that if you give money you are likely to be feeding an addiction and that money will be quite likely to buy drugs or alcohol, which will not be positive for the person you are giving it to, in a few cases your money may buy a dose that kills them.

The charities that say not to give money do tend to be experts with homeless people. Homeless charities assume that people who give money want to help the homeless person, not hasten their death, so they advise other help instead of something that can be easily converted into drugs.

I think it's debatable, but I can't be annoyed about the charities that see it as a poor way to help. It's certainly not an unreasonable view of the situation.

I hate to give cash, but while it’s no good to point in the direction of services, I will give the fully stamped up loyalty cards from coffee shops so the homeless person can get a hot drink at a time if their choosing. Mostly they are happy to get them - there are a few regulars near my office.

Funny thing is, you could have bought a coffee for a colleague or an old acquaintance or a person you'd just met and got chatting to and nobody, like nobody would have expected you to do a full breakdown on how much they earned or whether they had ever taken drugs. Nobody would have worried about your being taken advantage of. A coffee would just have been seen as a minimal social gesture that nobody cares about one way or another. But once there is the slightest hint that somebody might actually need this coffee it becomes such a momentous decision that you might as well have stolen the Crown Jewels to pay for it.