AIBU to be mightily peeved at end of Term "Oscars"

[ohwellherewegoagain]

Ds1 is just finishing year 2, and the teachers put alot of thought into putting on an end of year awards ceremony type show. The kids were asked to dress up, looked very cute, and most parents got a little bit emotional. All good so far. I understand the need to include everyone, but I felt it got a little out of hand. The categories had nothing to do with any type of achievement (academic, sporting, artistic, whatever) and were pretty meaningless eg a bunch of girls getting a prize for "best friend". Now I don't want to rain on the kids' parade, but the thing is, it's not actually incentivising the kids at all. The following is not a stealth boast, because I have name changed to do this and have been at pains not to crow my DS's achievements all over social media. I want him to be a regular, grounded kid. But despite some ill health he got 100% in his SATs. Fantastic achievement. Did he get an academic award? Na.Just one for knowing how to use computers. He actually came away feeling that he was pretty shit. Surely that can't be right? Can't we get the balance right?

God forbid the child who is constantly kind, patient and pleasant towards the others should get recognition for being a ‘good friend’ at the age of 7!
How is that child’s achievemeny any less valid than recognising that someone did well academically.

Maybe half of the class got 100% on their sats. He teacher could hardly give it to all of them could she? Your child got an award for something that they do well. In just the same way as every other child was recognised for something that they do well.

Our schools are about developing ‘the whole child’ not just academics. Where would we be without the kind children? The always try their best children? The helpers and the ones who keep going even though everything is a struggle?
How sad that their strengths are seen as mediocrity by some.

Last year my DTs jointly won 'most holidays' award at nursery. Other highlights included 'busybody' and 'drama queen'.

Let's celebrate mediocrity!

But it’s not mediocrity - academics is just one part of life, things like being a good friend / having people skills etc. are so important and can get you just as far as being clever in many careers. I think it’s great they’re helping to develop a range of characteristics in the kids.

Anyway, OP, surely if your DS got a certificate for doing well with computers that’s something to be proud of? My DS has been good with computers since infants too. Everyone else in the class always looked to him if ever they got stuck. If my DS had got that certificate at that age I would have been damned proud!

My DS is now year 9 and continually getting the top grade in his (difficult) computing GCSE. He is looking at going into quantum computing. A certificate for computing at year 2 would really have meant something in his case.

So I think, as others have said, that you’re just pissed off because there was no mention of his 100%. If you want it shouted from the rafters, put it in Facebook.

I though current educational theory was you praise the effort and hard work, not give a 'prize' for the win or exam pass, otherwise kids get hung up on prizes/ having to win and can't cope with failure: which is part of life & a learning opportunity? And I don't see praising empathy, friendship or other emotional skills as a bad thing. They are a massively important social skills.

The answer is simply to do away with these nonsense ceremonies. They serve no useful purpose.

My DD1 is a similar age (end of year one) and incredibly, uncommonly academically able. She is very rarely publicly recognised or rewarded for this, and that is fine. She is just as chuffed to get a reward for good manners or being a kind friend and I hope it stays that way. She certainly doesn’t ever feel diminished if a teacher doesn’t publicly announce that she got the top mark in whatever. Perhaps make sure your child feels more secure in his abilities and other strengths so something like this doesn’t feel like such a slight.

What is a ‘meaningless achievement’ to you may not be so meaningless to someone else. My friend’s 10 year old got an award from his school (a special school) for learning to drink through a straw. His parents were thrilled because it meant they could go out and leave the sippy cup at home. It’s all relative.

There are too many awards ceremonies as it is, though the school cannot win anyway on such ideas.

Seems I have posted amongst a sea of snowflakes! Let's celebrate mediocrity!

1. there's no need to be a dick
2. you're a fine one to complain about celebrating mediocrity when you're complaining that your SEVEN year old didn't get the prize you wanted him to. It's not like he's just aced his GCSE's or cured HIV. He did very well in pointless standardised tests that are being phased out. Does he need the praise and adulation you're so desperate for?
3. still on the snowflake point, don't you think you should be encouraging him to do well for personal pride and self-esteem rather than for the glory of a school prize?

As Y2 SATS are reported in terms of expected / not expected, 100% could be seen as average itself - after all, the school would be in serious trouble if it didn't have a very comfy majority of "100%" passing, unless we're about to hear a drip feed on your child's scaled score. I'm with the awards all around - it sounds like it was a good giggle and you've taken it very much in the spirit it wasn't intended...

Most schools downplay the year two SATS so won't be recognising scores plus they will use teacher assessment anyway at that stage.

It sounds like the teacher wanted to do something fun and you wanted a huge fuss made he had passed his SATS, pretty much like the rest of his class I would imagine.

At that age, it's much harder to be a good friend than it is to pass a test you've been thoroughly prepared for. Many older people struggle too...

Is your son feeling bad because he feels he isn't very good at using computers so feels his recognised achievement is false?

I think it's sensible for schools to stay away from rewarding SATs results as a specific thing in Y2, most schools actively try to play down the SATs to avoid putting pressure on children, and rightly so at 6/7 years old.

I see where you're coming from, awards can become meaningless but for such young children, rewarding things like being a good friend to your peers is teaching them stuff that they do need to learn.

Schools can’t win though. Have you read the threads about attendance awards, about children who are well behaved and work hard, but don’t get acknowledged at awards.

It’s not celebrating mediocrity and they aren’t snowflakes. It’s celebrating the fact that children all have something they can be commended for and that teachers know their pupils sufficiently well to recognise the individual talents they have.

I have posted amongst a sea of snowflakes!

Says the parent who isn’t happy about the kind of award her son got.

I thought the kids weren’t told year 2 SATS results and that it’s not a formal exam but teachers assessment...

Can I just ask how the 100% was shared with you? Was that the way it was phrased? Or were you given his scaled or actual individual test scores? Just asking because I've never heard it phrased as a percentage.

How did you know that? DD3's HT said to me, a couple of years ago now, "you know DD3 did really well in her SATs, don't you? She's got a good head on her shoulders" and I shrugged and said "of course I don't know. I didn't see her results. I got a piece of paper that said "expected". And that was that, conversation over. I was proud of DD3 for being DD3. Her HT was obviously pleased with her scores... Whatever they were!

I think you need to look to your own attitude if your ds came away feeling crappy. Please please do more to bouy him up. I think hes picking up on your over ambitious early stress on academic success. Ease off a bit. Youre going to have a chikd who does well but is hard on themselves, might be a recipie for success but not for happiness. Also underconfident high acheiver is not likely to go as far as confident "mediocre" person as you put it.

Year 2 awards should be for fun.

I would be much prouder if my child won an award for being a good friend than winning one for academic achievement.

They’re ‘scared of giving prizes for actuallly doing well’ because MN has been absolutely full of moaning threads in the last few weeks about the ‘same kids’ getting awards for being the most clever, highest acheiver etc and why aren’t schools more inclusive and stop excluding children and emphasising only academics blah blah blah. Oh and he’s seven fgs get over yourself.

Let's celebrate mediocrity!

Not at all. I'm saying some kid was better than yours and deserved their prize more. If we wanted to celebrate mediocrity, I'd be all behind your child getting the prize, instead of someone who maybe did more work.

You are aware that SATS, especially KS1 have absolutely no impact on anything related to your child? They’re a test of teachers and schools with no benefit for the children.

You think other people are being snowflakes but you’re the one getting their knickers in a twist because her PFB “only” got an award for computers and not for being the bestest most cleverest child ever.

They’re SEVEN ffs! Being a good friend is a much more worthwhile life skill at seven years old than passing a meaningless exam.

Since when did kids even get a percentage score for their sats?? We just get a tick for expected or greater depth. I’d just say well done to your boy for his computer award and stop taking the whole thing so seriously?