Name changed for this.
July has been a very busy month as we have been celebrating my youngest daughter’s graduation and 21st birthday within days of each other. Graduation involved a couple of nights stay in her university city and thereafter I’ve had a relative houseful with various of her friends staying for the 21st. The last one will go home this afternoon. I was widowed some years ago but I’m in a new relationship. New partner kindly organised a meal out for graduation and the 21st locally as his “gift”.
In between graduation and the 21st he took some professional exams which he passed. When he phoned to tell me I said all the right things (which anybody would) and even made a suitable congratulatory comment on his FB when he posted the news there.
Thereafter he applied for a job which he was all but “promised” but his application was subsequently rejected last Thursday.
21st was last Wednesday. Meal out was Saturday. I went to his on Friday (we don’t live together), we had a meal out, but I’d taken birthday cake to his for “dessert” as he was working away on Wednesday and unable to attend the party at my house.
Had meal out on Saturday as planned.
I noticed he’d seemed quiet on Saturday and he left mine very early Sunday morning. He has form for being moody so I recognise the signs. Anyhow, he ignored three phone calls from me yesterday plus a subsequent follow up text. Neither did he reply to an email I’d forwarded to him about an event we have pre-arranged for August.
This morning he’s phoned me back. In his words he’s “pissed off” with me because I didn’t do anything to acknowledge his passing his exams. On Friday I “should” have brought over a bottle of champagne and not just a piece of birthday cake. I should also have made the meal we had on the Friday night more special too. As it was we just went back to his for birthday cake and didn’t even have dessert in the restaurant.
I apologised and said my head had been full of the 21st celebrations plus I was conscious he’d been rejected for new job which had taken over his exam success. We had discussed this at some length on Friday.
He said that clearly I didn’t appreciate his job or what the professional exam meant and that being busy with 21st celebrations was no excuse as I should be able to multi task like he did when organising the graduation meal and 21st meal. Apparently I should have seen from the comments on his FB post that this success was something very special and organised something appropriate. I said that I hadn’t even looked at all the FB comments as my life doesn’t revolve around FB!
He ended by saying that the moment had now gone so even should I plan something for a later date it was too late.
He was going to say something about it when he arrived at mine on Saturday but thought it inappropriate as the young friends were all here; he decided to wait until they’d left on Sunday. I told him one was still here and they’d clearly understood there was an upsetting conversation going on as they could see my reaction. That quietened him down a bit.
Have I been inconsiderate? I am professionally qualified myself, in a completely different profession, but one where exams are the norm for progression and promotion. It is not that I don’t understand or appreciate the effort people put into success such as this but when you get to our age (he’s in his 60’s by the way) it is a bit different to the youngsters starting out on life. His didn’t involve a graduation by the way, rather a set of exams which give him a senior role within his field).
Oh, I’ve just remembered, apparently I didn’t wish him good luck at an appropriate time either. I should have done that as he was leaving mine the day before the exam, and not by text last thing at night.......????
Feel a bit flat now he’s said that after the buzz of the last couple of weeks!