To be terrified of cafcass?

[Flappypants]

Hi all

I hope you can help. I've got cafcass calling on Wednesday and I'm just so worried. We've been back in our house for about three weeks now after we ended up in a refuge when EA and psychologically abusive narc STBXH (and his daughter) ramped up the mental game. He did it adter a letter went to him suggesting that the DC and I move closer to my family where there's a big support network, the schools are outstanding and practically speaking, the housing is far more affordable and the DC will be much more suitably housed.

STBXH has of course categorically denied all the things he's done and is applying for a court order for me to have an expert psychiatric assessment (part 25). He's basically saying I am unstable and a risk to the children. Said that I've hit my DS (I've never lifted a finger to either DC) and that I psychologically and emotionally abuse the DC. You'll possibly have seen my other posts about his speeding, groping, jokes about strangling and killing me etc...

So cafcass are calling and I know he will manipulate the woman. I don't know what they ask. I don't know how to be...other than myself and absolutely truthful but it's my word against his...and I don't know what the outcome of her report will be and whether the court will go with what she says. I'm just so so scared because I've heard stories about individual officers ignoring the evidence and giving bad recommendations. I want the DC to see their father often and I want to encourage it. The contact arrangements at the moment are every other weekend (they've just done their first overnight wity him - DC have never been away from me in 6 years) and Wednesdays after school. I've been told this is very standard and reasonable. He wants at least 50/50 and would go for 100% if he could.

Can anyone help and tell me what their experiences have been?? What can I expect?

TIA X

Carcass are incredibly professional and used to dealing with people like your ex, do you have an IDVA (not sure if there have been criminal proceedings against him) or a women's aid worker? Either would be able to support you through the process, also gather as much evidence about his behaviour as you can, from the relationship and since you split, texts, emails, police references etc

I had a meeting with a great idva last week and there was a MARAC meeting the week before. Because the refuge was in another county there's a MARAC to MARAC meeting next week so our support network will be here. We were deemed high risk but now that he's moved out I think we are going to be "downgraded" to medium, which means I'll have an outreach worker rather than an IDVA.