To think I will never find happiness.

[singleforalways]

Gone from one failed relationship to the next including physically violent relationship and now a single parent of 4. AIBU to think I will never be able too forget ex and move on and be happy.

I don't know but I spent 9 years in an abusive relationship. Had one dc. Eventually he beat me badly in front of her she was a year old. I realised I had to leave. It took me seven years to stop loving him, I then spent a couple of years alone. When my dd was 10 I met dh. Now been married very happily for 20 years.
Hope things work out for you op.

It's been 4 years and I still love him even though he is toxic and beat me. I know logically it's ridiculous. At least I know there is hope.

Have you had any help to get to know ans love yourself and be happy single?

Do you have to be in a relationship to be happy, singleforalways?

If you could create happiness and fulfillment within your life as an independent woman, then anything that came later would be not only a bonus, but also would be on your terms.

I've been single for 4 years and feel like I'm missing out on something, companionship maybe ?

@Incarnationsofunderstanding no, I didn't know there was such a thing. Just getting so down and lonely. Liked it initially. Now lonely and I do work full time, have family friends and hobbies.

Agree PP guess I will just learn to be alone forever and then anything else is a bonus

I do agree, love yourself first then look to find someone. Having a relationship for the sake of having someone in your life is in my opinion a recipe for disaster. Good luck

No one will ever love me

Love yourself. Read Louise Hay. You can heal your life

I think you need to not care if no one will ever love you. It's not easy to get to that point though, to be fair. As long as you love you, that's all that matters. And I bet your 4 children love you (even if they say otherwise) so you shouldn't care if a man won't.

Learn to love yourself. Treat yourself well, find things to do that you enjoy. Take pleasure and pride in being a single mum. I’ve been a single mum for four years now and I adore it.cant imagine wanting to be in a relationship ever again!

I actually read an article the other day that said this whole “learn to love yourself first” thing is BS. Someone loving you makes you feel lovable. You can’t do it on your own.

However, you can learn to be happy on your own. You can learn to love your life in your own. Pitching this “learn to love yourself first” just places “blame” for being single on the indivual and isn’t helpful.

OP you can be happy again but don’t settle. Don’t take anyone just to have someone. Anyone you meet should enhance your life, not take things away from you. So many people are single nowadays, even if it seems everyone is coupled up.

I certainly would not settle and to the outside I seem happy, content and a good mum. But inside I feel a bit lost and empty. How can a normal person take so long to get over someone ? And everyone seems to find new relationships so easily. Maybe I'm undatable as a single parent or maybe to set in my ways. As to be honest as much as I'd like the company I'm so used to being on my own, independent and doing things my way!

Being on your own is hard in a world of couples, romantic films and music. I'm there. Learning to love yourself is BS but learning to accept yourself is what you should strive for. My life is so far from perfect I can't begin to tell you but I'm in the best place mentally that I have ever been. I agree with OP above, don't settle for someone just because they are interested in you. I've made that mistake my whole life. Not going there again.

Honestly until you learn to actually enjoy being single, relish your own company and realise that being single really can be fine, you won't attract or retain the kind of relationships that are good for you (and the DCs) I truly believe this, I've seen and lived it time and time again.
Never give up hope, but your first love needs to be you

Thanks for all the replys. I feel better already. And you are all completely right. Why is life so hard sometimes lol

Tiredpony. How did you get to 'that' place? What age are you? I feel I'm getting old now and losing that window. (Im 34) but in a world of kardashians losing it lol

What's the OLD scene like?

What's the OLD scene like

A bloody nightmare! lol.
Honestly, you need a very thick skin and highly tuned bullshit radar.
I know some people have met partners on there so it must happen but it seems a bit "needle in a haystack" to me.

**I actually read an article the other day that said this whole “learn to love yourself first” thing is BS. Someone loving you makes you feel lovable. You can’t do it on your own.

However, you can learn to be happy on your own. You can learn to love your life in your own. Pitching this “learn to love yourself first” just places “blame” for being single on the individual and isn’t helpful**

This ^^ !! So much!

OP I feel for you and feel similar myself. I'm sure you are amazing though. Best of luck with everything and enjoy your kids while they are still with you.

Thank you all for your advice. It's just weird loving someone who treated you so bad and knowing that you are better without them, but still having that feeling for them