Is DH BU?

[nodithering]

We planned to go to Farrow & Ball today.

Me: What time do you want to leave?
DP: What for?
Me: To go to F&B...
DP: Oh I thought we’d just go to B&Q, they do F&B paint.
Me: Yes but they don’t have the range. It would be silly to go there and find out they don’t have the colour we want. F&B is the same distance.
DS: I want to go to the slide place.
Me: Well that’s near F&B so we could go there too, couldn’t we? (Looks at DP)
DP: Yes

10 minutes later

Me: OK are we ready? Are we going to the slide place first or F&B?
DP: I thought we were going to B&Q

😳

And so on. The latest is “But you said you wanted to go to B&Q”. 🙄

I’ve said “You obviously want to go to B&Q, why?” But he just says he doesn’t care where we go. He does.

His entire family are like this. I think it’s habit just to change plans. Or he thinks it in his own head and doesn’t tell anyone and then says we’ve arranged it or even I suggested it.

It’s driving me crazy 😜

If he drives to b&q, consider their patios and inspect the shovels carefully.

Are you married to my DP? I swear we have this sort of conversation every day!

the temptation of making him some concrete boots and chucking him in a lake can be strong

I now make him write down what we agree on important things. In his handwriting he can't deny things!

Farrow & Ball first, get test pots and colour charts for the full range and then B&Q to see if they do qhat you want cheaper.

Then Homebase as a lot of their stuff is cheap after they were bought for a £1 recently.

Then Wickes as they are cheap even if they don't sell Farrow & Ball, they have their own range.

Then some random place just because.

That, and then back to Farrow&Ball to actually buy the paint, and to let DS go to the slide place.

Repeat as and when necessary!

Oh god! Mine is the same! I often threaten to drive him wherever he thinks we are going then go where we are supposed to going by myself.

Big Bro is a professional decorator, he won't touch F&B paint, says its over priced shite and Dulux is far better.

Middle class first world problem alert!!!

And I say that as someone middle class with a fondness for f&b.....

Didn't f&b have an issue where their paint stinks? If so, and you buy it, check serial numbers to make sure you get ones where they changed the ingredients back to what they were.

Touching up a rented place we are moving from, has to be the same paint and we’re told it is F&B. Don’t know if other males would blend in. It’s only to go over marks on the stairs and where we’ve had pictures up.

Makes not males!

I have this too, we decided where we are going. Often planned a few days before, and the reasons for going have been discussed and confirmed.
Set off.
Fifteen minutes into the journey I look at where we are and ask where we are going.
It is nowhere near where we are meant to be going but is on the way to the place we decided not to go to.
We have actually missed weddings because we have gone in the opposite direction, and been late for events as we have gone the opposite way to everyone else in spite of seeing them all drive off in the same direction, but oh no, not us, we have to go to the other venue which is not where it is taking place.
I have lost years of my life to going the wrong way and being ignored.

So what’s the answer?

I suppose I could try emailing plans. It’s bloody stupid though.

I had a similar row conversation with DH last week with DH about seafood sticks of all things. He kept telling his mate I'd eat the sushi with them in because I really like them.

I've never eaten them since I first tried one and really didn't like them. Years before I met him. I've mentioned countless times I don't like them, avoid food with them in. We've been married 14 years, I've known him nearly 20 years. And STILL he was banging on that he was sure I did like them, I'd said about getting some the other week.

Turns out it was his MOTHER he'd had the conversation with.

His mother once denied she was ever going to visit us when we had got the spare room ready (moved all the stores stuff, got a bad set up etc) when it had been arranged the month before.

DP shrugged it off. I was like WTF. You can’t go messing with peoples lives like that, I’d taken time off work. Selfish.

Can't you just repaint the place in a cheaper, but similar colour?

F&B are heinously expensive.

You could get a washable, durable colour for the price.

You drive!

DH is the same...bought me WhatsIts the other day and was very proud he had thought of me and remembered that I like them...only I do not like them and have told him exactly why (they are an aberration of my childhood dream cheesy puffs) numerous times...he’s still bought them for me numerous times. I don’t know how he manages to remember the misconception but not the truth!

This annoys me.
DH does similar.
Last one was the holiday we've just had (it's school holidays here) - we were meant to be going on Tuesday, coming back today. This was set weeks ago.
The only important thing was to be in one particular place on Thursday because it was an important date for us.
Two weeks ago we were driving somewhere and I said "so is your mother ok to look after feeding the pets while we're away next week?"
"Sure" he says. "She only needs to come in on the Friday, doesn't she?"
No, I said, we're going on the Tuesday, she'll need to come at least twice.
"We're not leaving til Wednesday" said he.

Row ensued.

He'd just randomly decided to lop a day off our holiday and in his head had come to the conclusion that the "only bit that mattered" was that we were in a particular location on the Thursday. He'd considered NOTHING else to be important at all, least of all discussing his change of mind with me!

We left on Tuesday as per original plan, which had never changed for me from our first discussion of it weeks previously. I don't take kindly to being messed around like that!

Re. painting over F&B with different paint - I'm sure I read somewhere that you can't do this because F&B is weirdly chalky or something and this doesn't work - need a decorator expert to tell you!

Hi OP.

I work in new build property and one of our developments has a wall in each room painted with F&B paint. Specifically - Elephants Breath.

It is a NIGHTMARE for one reason and one reason only. You cannot do touch ups on it. If it's marked you have to repaint the full wall.

I'm not sure if this is just for that colour or it's a usual trait but if maybe ask the sales people about it when you go.

At least your DH was aware you were going somewhere. My DH has recently just stopped listening to me altogether, it's really frustrating.
Currently 28 weeks pregnant and have a growth scan scheduled for Monday, it has been booked since I was 12 weeks pregnant, DH has always known, I actually don't expect him to remember dates though. DM is kindly watching DD to let us go to appointment and has offered to keep her the full day so we can spend time together just the 2 of us after.

I spoke to DH about this during the week an suggested we get lunch after the appointment. When I asked him this morning if there was anywhere he fancied for lunch tomorrow he looked at me like I'd grown an extra head.
It wouldn't bother me too much if it wasn't like every 2nd conversation we had that he seems to just blank out and it's the whole conversation.
I might have to start recording things to prove I'm not making it up!

It’s only for touching up, I’m not painting whole walls.

We’ve found it easy to keep clean except for the stairs (trailing hands) and where we need to fill in the picture holes.

It’s rather comforting to know that it’s not just my DP that does this but still infuriating.

The same happened at lunch. I’d bothered to look up child friendly places to eat near where we were going and mentioned two of them to DP. He agreed we should try one. After the paint place he was striding back to the car when I reminded him where we were eating. Oh no, we were apparently eating at the slide place which had overpriced half cooked food that he always complains about.

Is it forgetfulness or badness?

Badness