AIBU..to dread.holiday tomorrow. On steroids and can't see a bright side.

[lolaflores]

Off to apartment in Tenerife tomorrow with Mother (quite spry but a bit of mental drain) DDs 1 and 2 (25 and 11). Thing is, I have asthma that over the last year has been growing increasingly disruptive i.e. needing steriods every 3 - 4 weeks or there abouts.
naturally, it has kicked off, just been to the emergency walk in and got another pack which I have just started.
i don't feel well and I am dreading the next 7 days of the side effects of the steroids, having to sort of be in charge. By which I mean, in great spirits and keeping folk happy, not bored.
I lived in the Canaries for 3 years, speak fluent Spanish a good knowledge of the place, where to go, what to do and being under par (and slightly deranged from the steroids) I am not going to have the energy.
The thoughts of getting through Gatwick is turning my blood cold. I have mobility problems...its all such a fuck up. I cant cancel Im not bed ridden just feeling rubbish. Not up to the task. scared really

Poor you. Get as much help, for you, from your 25yo DD and get your mum to be as much help as she can with your 11yo DD.

You don’t have to keep everyone happy. Your kids are more than old enough to take responsobility for their own enjoyment and your mother is obviously an adult. They should be keeping an eye on you this holiday, not the other way around.

Let them be bored and draw them a map if they have to get anywhere.

Asthma is shit. I always used to get it on holidays this time of year worst of all, so now we go away in April/May and Sept/Oct instead.

Tell the other ADULTS in your group that you are feeling done in, and that you are going to have to put your own needs first.

You only need to parent the 11 year old

i am trying to address my bad habit of doing it all and it has come to bite me right up the arse.
Or I am underestimating everyone.
Not sure which it is. I don't want them to worry I suppose.
My mum hasn't been abroad very often and I don't want her worried and I felt like she is actually the biggest one to be managed rather than the other two.

Absolutely let all the adults get on with it, and a 25 year old is quite capable of looking after her sister.

All you should have to worry about is lying on a sun lounger resting and the others can wait on you

Does anyone else feel to blame if it isn't all running smoothly?
Don't know what it is about but I feel compelled to smooth everything out of the way.
Can I add, this fucking trip wasn't my idea and I am realising I am placating the rest of them.

Your mum can cope. Your dd1 can cope. Your dd2 might get more time on her tablet than you'd like, but will cope.
If you don't rest and relax, you'll end up in hospital, and then they will have to deal with everything on their own!

I didn't want to be sick and now I am and its all going to be shit.

Are you actually well enough to go? Could the flight or holiday make you worse?

If you do go you have to be upfront that you aren’t well and can’t, regrettably, do as much as you’d like. Lie in, sit and watch activities in the shade and don’t force yourself to pretend to be fine.

Lastly, if you haven’t already done so, get online now and book assistance at the airport. The others can make their own way to the gate. You can all go through security together, though.

Best wishes.

MatildaTheCat thank you. The steroids ought to have kicked in by tomorrow and i will feel a lot more physically able. I will book the assistance as you suggests. I think thats going to kee some of the anxiety at bay. Good idea