Cinema etiquette

[Wellwhatwouldyoudo]

Took my teenage kids to the cinema today. A woman sat behind us with two very young (3 or 4 yrs max.) boys. We were watching Jurassic world which is over 2 hours long plus 30 mins adverts/trailers. It's also a 12A and we all know the content of a film like that.

The children talked and giggled throughout clearly bored at the film and played games on the mothers phone. They pulled on our chairs and played with my sons' hair and were trying to talk and play with them. I've no idea what they made of the gruesome scenes but I doubt they watched much of the film. They made a lot of noise eating their happy meals and crisps.

I turned around numerous times asking them to shhh as did my son. I even told one of them to sit down when he was hitting my son's head. The mother looked up from her phone and said shh but then it all carried on again.

The cinema is a real treat for us as it's not a cheap trip out and I had a babysitter for my youngest - although may be I could have taken the baby too after all!?

I thought about going to speak to staff but didn't want to miss the film myself and I kept thinking it can't go on the whole time. I didn't realise how much it spoilt my other child's enjoyment until he told me at the end.

What should I have done?

AIBU thinking people should know how to behave in the Cinema? My children know and do not speak once the film starts and we don't have have noisy sweets. These children weren't alone as other cinema goers were up and down from their seats throughout the film, talking, shouting out at the film and looking at phones.

Do I just have to believe this is how people behave now? It's a pricey couple of hours to spend looking at your phone or doing toilet trips???

Such a shame our enjoyment was spoilt and I begrudge the cost too

Sorry this is a bit patchy but I want to get it off my chest too!!

Move?

Moved.

Blimey, I would have gone crazy! People up and down shouting at the film, wtf?! I’ve just come back from watching the same film, one woman was fanning herself, very annoying, no-one else was doing it. Another guy took off his shoes, fiddled with his feet, ugh, puke, but no-one disturbed the film. Saying that, I only go to a retro cinema with a bar. It’s in a very middle class area. All the blokes in the attached restaurant were drinking cocktails.

Wasn’t there room for you to move? I would’ve been brave and spoken sharply to the mum. What a shame for you.

I work part time at a cinema for my second job and ultimately you should have got one of the staff in to sort the problem out. While it will mean missing part of the film, you will enjoy the rest of it as the staff should warn them to cut it out or they would be kicked out.

Unfortunately if they don't know, they can't help. There is not the staff numbers to watch for behaviour in screens, so we rely on customers to tell us if something is disturbing the film.

I have kicked out some kids who have been disruptive before. People applauded.

I'm tolerant about little kids if I'm seeing a kids movie but anything 12A & over then I expect people to be quiet & watch the movie.

In this case I'd have gone out to complain to staff & requested a refund or for the woman & her kids to be asked to leave - I took DS to see Jurassic World a few weeks ago & by the time I paid for tickets, popcorn, sweets & drinks I was over £40 that's a lot of money to be annoyed by someone else's kids & not actually see the movie.

But then I've just been to see Mamma Mia tonight & had to ask the guy in the seat next to me if he wanted to sit on my lap after his elbow jabbed my ribcage for the 3rd time

Definitely get the staff. If you try to deal with it yourself you may end up with a mouthful of abuse and be accused of being just as disruptive whereas staff can ask people to leave if they wont stay quiet

whiskeysourpuss this keeps happening to me at the cinema, I wonder if they do it because the armrests prevent manspreading so they have to impose themself on your territory in other ways

This annoys me too - part of the problem with 12A is that people bring toddlers in.

I also get annoyed by people in the theatre who can't behave. As tickets are about £50 each, I can't understand why they don't want to see the actual production!

You're not allowed to fan yourself at the cinema? Fuck me, that's a new one.

Proud he was a big fella anyway so was already encroaching on my personal space but he also sat with his legs spread eagled so that if I crossed my legs I would've kicked his knee - it definitely feels like it's deliberately done but as I get older I find that I give less of a shit about saying something.

The thing is I'm not a complainer but thinking back I've complained a few times at the cinema & to be fair they've always been good about it.

This is why I go to our small independent cinema. It is mainly filled with older people who all know how to behave. And it sells wine rather than popcorn! I think I would scream if I had to put up with what you experienced.

Limited range of films though so I wouldn't be able to see Jurassic World.

Why didn't you just move seats?

I won't complain if someone is acting like that in the cinema anymore. When I went to see Sherlock Holmes with Robert Downey Jr, there was a group of 'lads' in the row behind All drinking Strongbow they had smuggled in, and just making noise, kicking chairs etc. Then one of them started chatting loudly on his phone and I said "would you please get off your phone", he kicked me in the back of the head and started talking about me to the person on the other end of the phone.
I left to go get staff, and they got a security guard who said "we're going to have to ask you and your bf to leave as we don't want to confront a group of that many boys who are drinking- it would be a danger to other cinema goers. And we can't let you go back in since you confronted him and made it worse, he might do something to you".

I didn't even get a refund because I had an unlimited card so paid them every month! So I won't ask staff for help, but will just move seats or put up with it.

Rocinante - that is shocking. The cinema should have called the police, stopped the film and had the young men removed. Please tell me you reported it to Head Office.

I would have moved seats if possible. I'd it was busy, I would have reported it to a member of staff.

@KC225

Oh, I did! And first they said they found it unlikely that that would happen, but would refer to the manager and get back to me. I then got a voicemail with a "we are sorry for your invonceneice, but they did refund the cost of your popcorn so we take that as the situation being resolved and look forward to seeing you in our cinemas in the future". I called back but they do pletely refused to even give a part refund on the monthly direct debit. I couldn't even cancel my card and go elsewhere as I was a student and it was the cheapest way to see all the movies!

The worst part was... my boyfriend THANKED THEM when they told us to leave because he said they handled it well to avoid any confrontations and were very nice so as I was walking out all annoyed, he was thanking them! He was completely hopeless at complaining though (he's eat food with a clump of hair in it rather than tell the waiter). So at least it made me see how much of a pushover he was!

Thanks so much for the replies. You've restored my faith in cinema goers, not everyone thinks this is acceptable. I feel better now that I ANBU to be annoyed. Sorry for all your bad experiences too.

It was a small screen as the film has been out a while so very few spare seats I was surprised by how many people were there I thought it would be quieter but maybe if you have an unlimited card you go a few times. There were 5 in our party and I didn't realise until the end how bad it had been for my son who was the other end of the seats from me. He should have said during the film but he didn't want to interrupt his viewing. He did tell the boys to shhh.

Sadly I was lacking confidence to go to complain but now after reading your replies I do have the confidence to if this happens again. In hindsight I really wish I had and I'm annoyed at myself that I didn't.

There was a huge party of young boys at the back who were well behaved and quiet throughout. So not all is lost!!

I wonder if the unlimited card encourages this bad form from certain people. Since maybe they've seen this film already last week so doesn't matter if they go out the screen or have a chat or check their phones. Makes going to the cinema just something you pop along and do. Still inconsiderate to other users.

One 20smthg lady got up squeezing past 2 couples and left the screen to come back twice during the film?!?
One lady she squeezed past was heavily pregnant and had to stand up in the aisle each time.

I understand some people have reasons but if you know you're going to need to pop out then have an aisle seat. Not one by the wall.

My comment about the age of the children was not about the film content (although that is another matter) but about expecting them to behave and sit still for over 2 hours at that age. I felt very sorry for them because It wasn't their fault. I never took my children to the cinema before I knew they could sit quietly for that length of time and they knew the rules. Also it was such a special treat for them they want to enjoy it.

Thanks again for the replies. I was just sad that our special occasion we had been looking forward to was not as we hoped. I feel more confident that if it happens again I know what to do. I hope to be sharing a cinema with you all soon.

This is why I go to our small independent cinema. It is mainly filled with older people who all know how to behave. And it sells wine rather than popcorn! I think I would scream if I had to put up with what you experienced.

Had a bad experience at a cinema like that, long since closed. We went to see a Shakespeare film, Twelfth Night I think, it was a long time ago. Some parents had brought their children, who clearly did not appreciate the film and I couldn’t blame them, and they spent the evening chasing each other round the cinema and running up and down the stairs.

This happened to me when my sis and I went to see Beauty and the Beast (the newer live action one). We decided we would go at 9pm on a weekday to try and minimise the number of kids there because we had been looking forward to the movie for ages and did want to be the grumpy adults shushing surrounding kids. Our logic was faulty as there was still a bunch of children there most behaving perfectly well but a massive family arrived shortly after the film had begun—children shrieking, noisy food, adults chatting amongst themselves, kids crying. The final straw was when one of the children started playing a noisy game on a phone with the volume turned up full. I went and spoke with the manager who talked to them and they left shortly after that. Don’t be afraid to ask the manager to deal with disrespectful people. Going to the movies isn’t all that cheap and there are plenty of other places to go to scream and cry and play phone games. People do not need to be doing this at the cinema.

Agree with the people who go to a small independent cinema, assuming you like me are lucky to have one nearby.

I don't get taking babies and toddlers to the cinema (unless its baby cinema), I don't think they should be let in. I remember years ago going to see Batman Begins and it was full of 5 year olds who had to be carried out crying.