To think it's hard to look good if you don't have much money

[sallychadband]

Just this really.

Few clothes = frequent washing = looking shabby.

No make up

Infrequent hair appointments

No beauty appointments

Overworked - long hours = look exhausted, plus little time to spend on / think about appearance

This week I bought a Valentino suit, a Hobbs dress, and other bits of Jaeger, Mint Velvet, Boden and Ted Baker in a charity shop I have been in every charity shop in a 10 mile radius and I honestly don't think there's one selling this stuff in my county, let alone my city! All the bags and shoes are plastic as well. An M & S jacket is quite a find.

I do agree it is hard if you are really poor, if you have just a little bit of spare money you can make it go a long way with charity shop clothes and some cheap range moisturiser, Poundland shampoo and a bit of make-up if you like that type of thing. I get away with it and buy decent shoes for 50% in the sale which helps. But I am not poor in the sense of having no spare money, I just don't have enough to pay for treatments/full price clothes.

Yea money helps with most things and beauty is definitely one of them

Thanks for the tips! I'm always in awe of people who look polished.

To save money I do the following

• gel polish my own nails every two weeks using a Sensational kit with UV lamp
• dye my own hair with Nice n Easy (and use their root touch up kit in between to make it last longer)
• do my own Brazilian blow dry using a kit from Amazon - this makes my frizzy hair look smooth for weeks and I don't have to blow dry or straighten it!

sally you are right that stress and worrying about money makes you lose sleep and look ill, do you think debt advice would help you at all, or is it just a case of a small amount that doesn't go very far? That is a hard situation. I buy Poundland toiletries and have done for years.

Agree with charity shops, car boots & jumble sales.

I’m a single Mum & usually skint, I can’t remember when I last brought something new.

A lot a people comment on my clothes and sense of style but usually my outfit has cost less than £10 if not less than £5.

I spend money on good hair but everything else is DIY.

It is possible. Money doesn’t buy class! 😎

100% agree with you.

I don't own many clothes and those i do have were cheap in the first place (think Matalan). After much washing, they look very worn.

My hair hasn't been coloured now for nearly 10 weeks and is currently an interesting shade of grey/brown/black and blonde. I had to cancel my appointment as our car failed its MOT.

My nails are a mess. I need my eyebrows doing professionally.

I'm quite upset thinking about next week tbh - got an awards night for my child at school and I know the other mums will be getting dressed up a little. I will be in the same tatty school run clothes - as that is all that I own.

I was definitely better looking when I had money!

I think a few signature, classy pieces make all the difference. They don't need to be expensive. I bought a beautiful blazer in new look in a sale. I think it was a tenner. It's lasted years and transforms an outfit. Some well fitting jeans make a difference too. Stretchy ones are best, they last longer and are cheaper too.
As for make up, apparently primarks range is brilliant. You can also buy max factor (I think) foundation for £6-8 which is really nice. Learning how to put it on is most important. YouTube is great for that and free.
I think it's more having an eye for these things. I don't spend a lot on clothes and I've got some lovely, timeless outfits (that would look better j someone else)

I think some hit the nail on the head. If you look after your body and your skin then you generally you will stay looking good. You may not be able to buy expensive clothes, but as my dad always says you can't buy class and style. I think if you look after the clothes you have by hand washing them, spinning them and not putting them in the dryer, they stay in better condition and that's quicker than a machine wash.
But I do agree some of the more stylish clothes are more expensive but go to affluent areas and nosey at charity shops, they have some great bargains for a fiver or even a quid.
I don't wear a lot if make up so that isn't necessarily something I would know a lot about although some of my mates spend a fortunes not top named brands while others ,who can afford the brands also, but they say the cheaper stuff in some ranges is better, so I suppose it's doing your research.i say healthy eating, bit of exercise, good skin care routine will help you stay looking good and age well

Oh and there is a website lessthanatenner.com or something like that and apparently the stuff is good quality if you get the ex branded stuff

You sound a bit low OP

I think the crying a lot sounds more like depression than anything else TBH. Plus the lack of energy also is a classic symptom of depression

FWIW I cut my own hair and style it myself. I never wear any makeup other than a smidge of lipstick. My teeth are well cared for and I'm always clean. So I don't think that I am doing any more than you are doing but the thing is I just don't really care, But you do and this is just another thing you are worrying about.

Bananasinpyjamas11, unfortunately good teeth can cost thousands, if you have a health condition, bad childhood etc.

Theseare (and others) how on earth do you cut your own hair? Genuinely interested. What style do you have? How do you do the back?

There are good YouTube videos on hair cutting! Worth having a search

Those who say they never find anything in charity shops - how often do you look?
I visited 11 in one town today and have probably tried 30+ this week
Today I bought a Laura Ashley linen skirt for £1 a planet silk dress also £1 and finally a new pair of leather Jenny pumps BNWT for £2
I also bought a monsoon beaded skirt retail price £99 for £12 in tkmaxx reduced section

I agree with you, absolutely and being run down is never a good look.

My only tip is to try £shops and B&M as they have branded makeup, haircare etc. So tigi foundation, Toni& guy hair serum both £1, nyx lipsticks 3 for £3.

But it's really hard to find nice fitting clothes and my hair is difficult so no way am I cutting it myself.

And running isn't free, you need shoes and a decent bra is about £40 if you have larger breasts, not to mention you might not have childcare either to further complicate things. Think exercise DVDs are a better option as no childcare needed, no kit other than a bra and you can wear your holey leggings which you can't do in public.

Haircuts - we are exceptionally more than usually skint just now. I'm not much younger than you. My hair is below shoulder length, with long layers. There was no money for a haircut and it was depressing me as it had gone all flat and the ends were shot. It was about 6 months since last cut. I tried you tube for how to cut layers into hair but my hair wasn't quite long enough for the DIY technique to make an impact (it was easy though, if yours is longer, worth a shot). In the end I got a friend to cut the back in a dead straight line, then slowly and holding my breath I carefully cut the layers back in round my face myself. It took ages because I was tentative. I'm saving to get some thinning scissors as that would have helped. I'm happy with it because it's got more spring and life back in it, and thrilled it cost me nothing

sallychadband, I'm so sorry that you're in this tough situation it must be very stressful to have to put so much in just to buy groceries. Do you have an Aldi anywhere near? It's amazing value, really good quality and the lowest prices. I'm lazy and love good value, so have adapted my shop so that 99% of what I buy comes from there.

If that would free up some time for you so that you can rest and recuperate, or even to go get one of those student haircuts, it's worth considering.

Go easy on your self perception, you have to be very strong under your circumstances. Absolutely wash your hair while you're in the shower anyway, so you feel clean and nice, but fuck styling it if you don't feel like it. Don't let the thought of the effort of styling it rob you of having nice clean hair and a sense of basic self care. What is it they say? Don't let perfect be the enemy of good, or some such.

Please don't heap undue criticism on yourself, do what you can to look after yourself while you're having a tough time.

Don't agree either

Tweeze your own brows
Paint own nails
Haircut and dye if needed with trainees
Shop only in he sales
Cheap gradual tanner ie Johnson's holiday body
Tinted lip balm
Own brand face care ie Aldi, Superdrug eg.

I know people who manage it, single unemployed with 2 DC...but they're young. And know that simple classics look good.
A cheap pair of tan sanders , a denim shirt dress, and a messy bun can look amazing if you're young, skinny and tanned.

When I was single parent struggling, these things also helped:

Having one layer long hair and trimming it myself. There’s an easy way to do it yourself straight and plenty of YouTube videos. I got good enough to add fringe and basic layering!

Only colouring every 6 months, telling a good hairdresser I needed it to look okay and it was quite fun! A kind of early balayage that everyone liked. Not too dramatic. I’d spice it up with a home colouring kit of a gentle low light in between.

Not having a car. Saved so much and walked / cycled everywhere, to work and childcare. Child too on the back. Kept me fit and healthy. It was a pain when it rained and snowed though. Kept weight down too.

Good shoes.

One expensive pair of jeans, not in a sale. Two good jersey dresses in a sale. Everything else can be very cheap.

Eating semi-well, didn’t manage fully-well as I was exhausted in evenings.

Make up can be cheap except foundation which I found was better pricey, but used sparingly with face cream so it lasted a very long time. And having one expensive item, even if it’s 40 quid foundation that you’ve asked people to get for Christmas, that you use regularly can really make you feel a bit pampered as it can be a bit depressing always always scrimping.

Motivation was key, so being out somewhere that you felt good was really good for me.

I disagree - a lot of people with money have little time or energy to spend on that sort of stuff. I have lawyer and banker friends who work 16+ hour days and do their makeup on the train. I know some wealthy people who do NOT look good!!

Besides there’s always eBay or charity shops! I’m addicted to charity shops and eBay is brilliant for a bargain. Car boot sales are even better - my best dress was £1 from a car boot, looks amazing, and I’ve worn it to loads of weddings etc. My wedding dress only cost me £300 on eBay and then I sold it on for the same price (was £1400 brand new in shops!). I deliberately don’t have a fringe and have a really simple hairstyle so I can take minimal time on my hair. I use groupon or local beauty college to get my hair done, and do my own nails (much quicker and cheaper than going into town!).

Obviously it’s EASIER to look good if you have lots of money, but time is a massive factor too... and it’s not impossible to look good if you’re short of both money and time (like me!)

@birds yes I agree good teeth can cost a lot. It’s beyond the scope of many. However it’s part of that not taking care of yourself or valuing yourself that can be hardest when you’ve no money, even the basics of making sure you look after teeth can go. Like ?OP said it’s not just money, it’s the tiredness, plumetting self esteem etc.

My friend became very depressed, had to give up her job, single parent, went into huge debt. Her dental care was still on the NHS but she just wasn’t valuing herself to go, and looked after her child instead and everyone else. Her teeth started to go really downhill with gum disease and she then felt too embarrassed to go. She confided in me and I went with her to the dentist who was great, I paid the first one but she got NHS care after that. He just advised her, sorted out some fillings and polished etc.

I know not all people have access to dental care though and that’s really hard.

Who the hell has 'beauty appointments' and what are they for? It's daily easy to look good. All one needs is healthy hair and skin and well cut clothing. Things like excessive make up make you look bad. Healthy hair is easy to achieve by doing as little to it as possible-very cheap. Healthy skin can only be achieved by exercise which is free. Clothing that is well cut is difficult to buy in any price range so it is easier to make it yourself which is also relatively inexpensive. Obviously you should take good care of your skin/hands etc but between exercise and really basic natural products like olive oils, bicarb soda etc you don't have to spend much to take good care of yourself. Things like fake eye lashes, coloured nails, heavy make up, dyed hair etc make you look bad so should be avoid anyway. Looking good costs nothing but effort.

Time/ money are fairly interchangable. If you have time, that enables you to access some of the low cost options such as trawling through charity shops for good value bargains. Being short of both is very limiting.

A lot is the luck of decent genes and health. Getting lucky on bone structure, thick hair, decent skin etc gives some people a major advantage in low cost/ low effort good looks.

Youth helps but it's finite. Probably one of the more consistant goal posts. I've got to late 30s on minimalism... not sure how many years I've got before I have to up my game...

A healthy lifestyle, being active and eating a reasonably balanced diet. Not smoking and going easy on the alcohol. No need to be a clean eating gym bunny though.

Basics: Be clean. Keep nails evenly trimmed. Clothes fit well. Hair neat, not endy or rooty. Good posture. Subtle make-up if necessary. Jazz outfits up with accessories.

Depends on how poor we're talking really and also what you mean by looking good/how high are your standards? I look ok I would say on not much effort or expenditure. Starting point is keep healthy - try to eat a varied diet, low sugar, low alcohol, stay slim but plenty of 'healthy' oils/fats. Walk lots. Use a skincare routine/moisturisers, just cheap brands. Rotate skincare brands. Basic haircut/trim but fairly regularly.