Operation failure.

[DontStopMeNow99]

Posting here for traffic

Have a health condition which has led to numerous operations, 20 plus. It was all with the aim of trying to give me better quality of life and prevent having a big operation which was the final one they could do

Unfortunately I had the big operation last year. I was told that due to all the previous surgeries, it's success would be touch and go and there was a high chance it would have limitations. At the time, I went with it as I was in so much pain and life was affected.

I made the wrong choice! I'm now so much worse than I was and the implications are so difficult. I have three sons and a partner and they have been through every thing with me but do not understand and I cannot expect them too. I just feel so uncomfortable and low every day and at times wish I didn't wake up.

I work in customer service and put a brace face on to my family and colleagues but inside I feel numb and can't carry on. The team I am under have advised that there is nothing more I can do. I had second opinion which verified this.

This isn't living. The act I out on every day is becoming too tiring. I can't pit my family through any more but feel like I'm drowning. I keep wishing I could turn back time and listen to the side effects more.

I don’t know what to say but can’t read and run I’m sorry your having to go through this xxx ❤️

Thank you LadyOdd. I don't think there is anything anyone can say. I just needed somewhere I can express thoughts and feelings without upsetting anyone.

I'm so sorry you find yourself in this difficult position. I have a family member who is going through something similar or whatever helps.

That's awful for you. But don't lose hope, medicine advances all the time and there is still a chance that things will get better for you

Thank you Penfold007 hope your family member can find some relief

Thank you ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs it's hard to be even a tiny bit positive when you are feeling so low. I also think it's scarey when professionals are saying live with it. :(

This sounds immeasurably shit, and I would encourage you to use MN as somewhere to vent.

Is there anything you can do, that you still love? Is there anything you’ve ever wanted to try that could give you a passion? I am a strong believer in throwing yourself into something (anything) and that being occupied is the best form of mental medicine. Even if it’s just something to chat online about - there are always people out there who share your passion and want to discuss it. It really can help.

Hugs. It sounds like you are really struggling at the moment. Are there any support groups for those with your condition?

Have you thought about writing a blog or something. That way you can reveal how you are feeling but not have to say anything to your family and friends.

Hi don’t stop me

7 years ago funnily enough to this day I was in a similar position, disabled in a wheelchair much of the time, barely living with 2 kids under 10 and a fab dh

The 2 specialists stated nothing more could be done for me and they had to keep me going as long as they could

So I get it, life is crap it’s not fair and where do you go from here

You need to go back to your gp for help, whether that be further opinions or therapy to help you learn to live your life the best you can

I thought my future was bleak but 3 months later by chance I met the right person, a specialist physio and with her help my life has gone completely different

Please don’t give up, talk to your loved ones, perhaps you may need medication for your mood at first

Sometimes it can be a grieving process for the life you hoped for, hopefully eventually the future can bring you joy once again

I'm sorry lass.

I hope there are ways of either minimising or working with the side-effects.

Thank you ClaudiaWankleman it's something to keep in mind but at moment I just want to be at home and can't focus on anything. Having people listen is helping.

That's great to hear Schroedingerscatagain . having the right people def helps. I didn't think about going to the GP but don't see point as they cannot fix the root problem which is what is making me feel so low.

That's so true regarding grieving fir the life you hoped for. I think that's where I'm really struggling. That and looking at my body as it's awful to look at and has let me know.

I'm glad to hear positive stories like yours though. Thank you.

Thank you everyone. I will look into support groups locally. I have to learn how to tell people how I really feel. Not even my best friends now. I always think that I will tell them as I'm crying out fir the support. I then say everything's fine.

I made a medical decision I regret too that has left me with permanent damage. It got easier with time after I was able to grieve what had happened and forgive myself. It affected me quite badly mentally and I got extremely bad anxiety as I felt like I couldn't trust myself to make any good choices. CBT helped me a bit; there may be therapy that could help you to live with the problem and be happier even if there's nothing that can help you physically.

Thank you MustBeDreaming I'm sorry you experienced something similar. I have bad anxiety too. I have wondered if CBT would help but keep going back to how it will never fix the problem. It is a grieving process :(