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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not tell them it's a wedding

16 replies

coldday · 21/07/2018 17:25

Wedding planning is a nightmare.

I'm looking for a small reception venue, but they keep quoting extortionate prices. I look at the private dining options and what's offered is near enough the same for much cheaper.

Is it wrong to go with the private dining route and not tell the venues it's a wedding? I mean, would this cause problems if there's another wedding that day, and they'd throw us out as it goes against the one wedding a day policy?

It's not going to be a big do so I don't want to take out a mortgage for it!

OP posts:
Gardenpicnic · 21/07/2018 17:28

If you're planning to get married elsewhere and then just go for dinner, I can't see why that would be a problem.

tillytoodles1 · 21/07/2018 17:30

Wat's the price difference, is it just the meal or do they include other things? If you just want a meal and no extras, go for ir.

Tonicwaterandgin · 21/07/2018 17:32

What would you do after your meal, would that be the end of the reception? As I imagine you would only have the room for the duration of the meal, whereas when you book a wedding you are paying for the venue for the day.

Budgiegirlbob · 21/07/2018 17:44

^

Budgiegirlbob · 21/07/2018 17:47

Oops, accidentally posted too soon!

I mean, would this cause problems if there's another wedding that day, and they'd throw us out as it goes against the one wedding a day policy?

If this is their policy, I don’t think the cost saving would be worth the worry, especially on your wedding day!

FreeMantle · 21/07/2018 18:05

Feel your pain. We would find a nice venue at a reasonable price. I would ask if it was ok for a family get together.
Absolutely, not an issue.
I made the mistake of saying then it was a wedding. Bang. Add a couple of grand on.
We just got lucky in the end. I think that's all you can hope for.

CoffeeOrSleep · 21/07/2018 18:07

I would talk to them about a private dining event and get the costs and length of room hire etc. Then once you've got quotes, discussed menus etc, tell them that actually it's for a 'secret wedding', give them some blagh about eloping so people don't know that's what they are being invited too etc. See if they want to up the price or cancel once they know it's a wedding.

Rebecca36 · 21/07/2018 18:10

I replied to another thread not long ago in which someone was thinking of having an afternoon tea wedding reception. It sounded really elegant and delightful. You might consider doing the same.

So many wedding do's are OTT nowadays and cost as much as a house deposit! Not worth it (especially when the marriage ends tho' I'm sure yours won't).

supersop60 · 21/07/2018 18:10

Will you want to just have a meal? or do the whole speeches thing? I would have thought when people book a wedding reception, it's a big deal for the venue - decorations, somewhere to put the cake etc etc.
If you simply want a meal for a group of people then you could book anywhere - could be a birthday, anniversary, graduation, whatever.

FinallyHere · 21/07/2018 18:11

When I was planning our wedding, I purposely did not mention anything about weddings to anyone who didn't need to know, florist, hairdresser and lots of people until after I had agreed the price. Simples.

BlitheringIdiots · 21/07/2018 18:16

We got married then went to local restaurant for a meal. Me in my dress still. We arranged it with them for the afternoon when they were quiet. Just had a limited menu people could choose from on the day.

Knittedfairies · 21/07/2018 18:24

My daughter and son-in-law did this and saved a lot of money. They told the caterers it was a family party, which was quite true. Everyone there was related to either the bride or groom.

BottleOfJameson · 21/07/2018 18:25

I guess you'd have to be clear about what's provided in the wedding package that isn't in the dining one. (For example will people want to mill around after the meal? Do photographs? Have your own cake?)

Nichelette · 21/07/2018 18:37

I got married in one of a small chain of hotels called Hotel du Vin. I think they have about 17 or so hotels and offer small rooms for dining. The hotels are lovely and I don't think the meal prices were excessive so might be worth a look if there is one near you?

Iwantaunicorn · 21/07/2018 18:40

We booked a very small but posh country restaurant for our very small wedding reception (even saying wedding reception is much too grand for what it was!), and paid normal prices for food. Had the place to ourselves, was quite lovely and didn’t cost a bomb! We did tell them it was for our wedding, but we were very clear it was just a meal we were having, not an evening do/traditional reception.

ProfessorMoody · 21/07/2018 18:48

We just booked a meal for 10 at the hotel we were staying at for after our ceremony.

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