Aibu to want a 3rd child?

[Camilne0087]

7yo and 4yo already. I'm 31 and want another but husband doesn't. I genuinely loved the baby and toddler stage, I enjoyed it, despite the tiredness. And now the kids are older I miss having a baby. Obviously love the children I have. Sometimes he's almost swayed, then he says no! We're not using contraception so why's he chancing it then? I just feel like I'll regret it later in life if I don't??

Your husband doesn't want another baby but is having unprotected sex? Does he understand how babies are made?

If he's not using contraception - and definitely knows that you're not using any - then he can hardly be surprised if you get pregnant. Have you asked what his thinking is on that front? Because if he knows you want a third then he must know you won't have an abortion.

In most cases the argument is simple - that if one partner doesn't want another child, you can't make them and have to suck it up. But in this case his actions speak louder than words. I'd still have a proper conversation to clarify and spell things out though. No point saving up trouble for later.

Is DP under the impression you are using contraception?

If your DP knows you are not using contraception then it's down to him to do something about it. If you haven't told him YABVU.

Do you use the withdrawal method?

No he knows I'm not. I've said I'm not using anything, he even said he'd get the snip then decided against it. I think he does a little but won't admit it. I've said I want one and made it clear. He says he doesn't but still keeps 'joking' about it. If we see someone with a pram he will poke me and say "Ohh look that could be you next year!" . I definitely won't have an abortion and he knows that too. But he still says he really doesn't want another?! I'm done with kids, just getting my sleep back etc. Even though I did all the hard work!

Are you having sex without him withdrawing? You will almost definitely get pregnant if so.

It sounds like he's conflicted. Possibly in his heart would like another but his brain says 'what about the cost/time/effort?' type situation.

I honestly wouldn't want to conceive in these circumstances (though it's tough if you want it so badly). Too much chance when the reality hits he will be resentful because he told you he didn't want one.

I would sit him down and have it out with him. Either he takes precautions or spell it out that by having unprotected sex with you he IS agreeing to a third. Don't let him hedge.