Social anxiety/panic attacks?

[mymindistakingthepiss]

Posting here for traffic.

Do any other mums suffer from this? Mine has got worse and worse over the years. I have always been quiet/shy, not wanting to be in the spotlight in any way but in the last few years this has got much worse. I now have terrible physical symptoms when I have to talk to people, sometimes even family members, I tremble, can’t get my words out and feel like I am going to faint – classic panic attack symptoms. This has had a real effect on my social life and I have isolated myself as I feel I can’t be around other mums as I am so sure I am going to embarrass myself, start twitching and have to leave abruptly. It is ruining my life. I want to be social but my body/mind makes me act like an idiot. I have also not held down a proper job in a long time because of this anxiety and I feel very depressed and trapped in a negative cycle and that my mind is trying to destroy me. I know that sounds weird but sometimes I have really odd compulsive thoughts about doing ridiculous things and have to fight to push these thoughts to one side.

I have tried almost every anti-depressant available, benzos, propranolol, pregabalin, loads of natural remedies, exercise as well as hours of talk therapy, CBT, hypnosis, psychiatrists etc and nothing has helped.

I suppose the point of this post is just to feel that I am not alone. That there are other people out there like me and to ask if anything has worked for you or books that you can recommend? I just want to feel normal and not feel like I am at war with my brain and to be able to chat to other people without feeling paranoid, shaking or thinking everyone is judging me. It really is making me feel so useless and low.

Not a mum but I'm the same. Horrible isn't it. I've given up on antidepressants and CBT because they didn't help. Really struggling at the moment - especially at work.

CBD oil massively helped my anxiety. I get mine from CBD Brothers (the cheaper stuff from Holland & Barrets and Amazon etc is a waste of money as not a high enough strength to do anything). No side effects at all from it.

Guided meditations (loads of free ones on YouTube) have taught me breathing techniques to keep calm.

I also found that really pushing myself through difficult situations was one of the main ways I cured myself. I would feel dizzy and so panicky in social situations. I’d sweat loads, get IBS issues and would feel on the brink of having a complete melt down unless I got out of the situation right away.
I forced myself to stay a bit longer each time I felt like that, even just another ten minutes. After a few months I started to see that nothing bad was actually going to happen (I wasn’t going to collapse and have a heart attack for example). I can now push through anxious thoughts by telling myself the feeling will pass and i’ll be ok

Thanks for your replies. Frosty, that is such a good system and I am so pleased to hear of someone who has got over this. At the moment I feel like I am going to have a panic attack if I make eye contact when chatting and often I make excuses not to talk. It's so frusstrating.

You are not alone, I have a severe social phobia (diagnosed amongst other things)
For me, at the moment, merely engaging with other people at the level of posting on threads here is about as much as I can deal with & I get a reaction to that.
I feel so vulnerable & exposed for having an opinion that other people can see, which I know on one level is ridiculous, but that's just how it is for me.
I absolutely can't cope with being replied to yet though, that's a step too far for me.

A year ago, if I'd posted on one thread, that would have been it for months, but I have now built up to being able to post sometimes every day.

So, you are not alone.

One day, I might even be able to talk face to face with a person without falling apart.
I can't really imagine it now or frankly why I would want to, but if I can 'improve', then so can you.

Stop putting so much pressure on yourself, regard each minute of social interaction as a win & see if perhaps next time maybe you can make it to 2 minutes.

Me too. It's shit.

It's only happened since I gave up work after DC2. My confidence is shot and my anxiety is through the roof.

Even the most simple situations fill me with dread. Like DC school plays for example; what happens if I have a panic attack and faint in the middle of the play? Fucking ridiculous. I'm a grown woman and an intelligent and sensible one at that. Pisses me off that I've turned into this anxious mess.

When I go to a busy place such as a shopping centre or supermarket I listen to music through headphones, and that helps a lot.
I found a lot of my symptoms lessened after I had CBT for agoraphobia.
For example, having a panic attack at a school play; it turned out the underlying cause of this kind of fear for me was actually agoraphobia.

Snuggle, thank you (and everyone else) for your reply. You are very brave. It is so debilitating to feel like this .

You aren't alone OP. It's awful, I don't get as many physical symptoms, but the anxiety is so bad I need to spend days psyching myself up to do social things. What Frosty said is so true tho. If I push myself my fear lessens and the sense of achievement motivates me. The anxiety never fully leaves tho, which is exhausting/takes a toll. I think I will probably never be 100% socially confident.

I used to feel physically sick going into the shopping mall. I’d get hot and dizzy and have to leave ASAP. I decided to force myself to go there every week and stay 5 minutes longer each time. I can now go without any problems at all (took a few months to get to that point).
Keep trying to push through it little by little until things feel less daunting. It’s not easy but it’s the only way to train the brain that everything will be ok

Frosty, when you started staying longer, did you just push through the uncomfortable physical sensations until they subsided? I know a lot of it is a vicious circle of adrenaline and fear of the fear of panic but even if I tell myself that nothing bad will happen I feel like my subconsious is saying the opposite so I get these tremors, twitching etc. It is also hard to reconcile myself with the thought that there is a part of me that wants me to fail, look ridiculous etc.

Yes I just tried to carry on with whatever I was doing and i’d also try and think about something else. So if I could feel all the panicky thoughts entering my brain i’d distract myself by listening to music or a podcast on my phone, or doing things like reciting my times tables in my head (purely to distract my negative thoughts).
I used to get twitches too and i’d feel so close to passing out. Just pushing myself a little bit more each time was enough to help me get better without totally overwhelming myself and trying to do it all at once

THe worst for me used to be standing in long queues. I’d struggle so much to stop myself from just running out the shop. Bad anxiety can be such an awful thing and so debilitating

I hate bloody queues

Something to consider if you're 40ish, but could it be peri-menopause?

I'd always been quite anxious but it suddenly went through the roof and I eventually figured out it was probably hormonal. Propranolol did help but I can't take it anymore, so I went for the Mirena coil and I take amitriptyline occasionally when I need to.

I'm 33. Doubt it's anything to do with menopause in my case.

I'm building up the courage to go to my GP.

Yes, I have had anxiety since at least Junior School that I can remember. It was things like a fear of saying ‘yes’ to my name on the register, rehearsing it over and over, counting down to my turn, wondering if my voice would come out, and severe stomach pains and sickness every week before doing a hobby even though I loved it. I just didn’t have a name for it then.

Since I had my son my anxiety has gone through the roof. I couldn’t make the simplest decision and was always looking for somebody to ask about whether he was ok, needed fed, was too warm etc. I went through a stressful time at work and had symptoms like a racing heart, breathlessness and tingling arms and legs. Things got to much and I had some counselling and medication for that and the breakdown of my relationship. It did help, but I think this is the way I will always be really. I can’t imagine what it is like to feel confident in your own abilities or at ease in social situations.

My son is a definite extrovert whereas I am an introvert and I find it really hard. He wants to talk to everybody, I want to hide away. I long for friends but can’t bring myself to talk to people so seem cold and stand offish when I am not.

CBT worked for me, I’m really sorry that you didn’t have success with it.

Did you have the whole thing worth worksheets about different interactions, believability of your automatic thoughts and all that?

I’ve also had a lot of success with hypnotherapy and meditation. The Headspace app is a good and accessible place to start with the latter.

I’ve been told that the social anxiety will always be with me to some degree but it’s really manageable now. Before I had CBT my life was almost unbearable.

*worth worksheets should be with worksheets!

What you've described is exactly what I suffered from for years - it got much worse after a stressful break up and new relationship and carried through to every social situation and affected meetings at work etc. Ironically it got better after I had my daughter and although I still get anxious and I am not a social butterfly by any means I seem to have got the physical aspect under control. I definitely had triggers - going out for meals would set me off, I would tremble and sweat and my throat would close up so I couldn't swallow, everything tasted like cardboard. I self medicated with drink for a while which wasn't wise! I was on beta blockers for a long time after my daughter was born due to high blood pressure caused by pregnancy and I think a side effect was that they broke the cycle of panic attacks. Once that had happened I started to feel a bit better as I wasn't expecting an attack to be triggered iyswim.

You're not alone!....have you read the book Dare? It's brilliant for anxiety...and learning how to live with feelings. Also The Happiness Trap. The thoughts sound like 'intrusive thoughts' and can go hand in hand with anxiety. I live with these too. I have learnt and am still learning how to live with it but it can be done. Experiencing situations that cause you anxiety really helps (exposure) as avoiding them can strengthen the anxiety. If the anxiety is very high this can be worked through with a therapist e.g for me it was public speaking. All the best and yes living with this can be done xx

Ps the first book is called 'Dare, the new way to way to end anxiety and stop panic attacks'. I still have anxiety (and always will, anxiety is a natural emotion) but it no longer holds the fear it once did, and I no longer experience panic attacks, although I definitely still have very anxious 'spikes' that I have to handle.