To hate 'offence fishing'

[Squidgee]

You know, when someone wrote an innocent post and another person comes along and finds something offensive and gets all 'my uncles cousins best friends dog had that happen, how very dare you!'

OR

Says something like (and I've seen this happen on fb) am I right to be annoyed that my brother won't take his MH meds?' and someone comes along with 'what have you got against people with MH issues, how dare you, so many people have MH issues and you're just a prejudiced cunt who doesn't believe in mental illness'

or announces the thread needs a trigger warning because 'some people don't want to read that' when its something trivial.

Its unnecessary, it derails a thread and it makes you look like a complete and utter idiot.

For the lover of god, stop it.

God has a lover? That offends me as a Christian.

So something is offensive but you have to shut up because other people enjoy it. That's a bullies' charter if ever I heard one.

Why do you assume that people are faking it?

This site has a huge number of users, so there will be a wide range of responses, including Ines you disagree with. Attempting to silence that because you want to have carte blanche to say things that other people find insulting or offensive is just plain wrong.

A bit of tact and consideration, and the avoidance of carelessly offensive language, would reduce the number of threads where people - normally quite rightly - people point out unfairness, discrimination or plain bad taste.

I'm with you OP. I saw someone have a full on meltdown over a "Never kiss a Tory" meme. The best of it was, they were slagging off the nasty Labour supporters without realising it was written/ posted by a Green!

@AuntieStella, are you reading a different thread? The OP is specifically talking about innocent things that are taken out of context.

I am disputing that what OP sees as 'innocent' are quite that.

AuntieStella is one of them...

Auntie Stella is definately one of them.
The point is, people are allowed to have opinions even if they are offensive and shouldn’t be derailed because somebody believes their opinions of offence of superior.

Nobody ever died of offence, it is a choice.

Yep
Auntie Stella is definitely one of them.
The op hasn’t even mentioned a particular thread so how some one can “dispute” this is beyond me

Part of emotional intelligence is recognising when your own emotions are disproportionate to the cause.

People can be offended by all manners of trivial or innocent things, but as adults we should be able to recognise when that offence is warranted and when it is not.

In some cases, being offended is genuinely a choice. My DB drunkenly came up to me during my wedding and made a negative comment about my dress. At that moment, my initial reaction was to be offended but then my second reaction was that the situation was 1) actually quite humorous, and 2) he's always been an amazing brother to me so it was unlikely to be malicious. I actively decided to take it as a humorous situation in that instance.

It's always good to get an alternative perspective on issues such as mental health, and for people to propose more empathetic understandings. However there's a difference between: 1) politely proposing your opinion and asking for someone to consider it, and 2) chastising someone for being ignorant/offensive etc. Option 2 only ever gets people's backs up, and IME rarely makes people reconsider their position.

If you know that you're tender about a particular issue due to your own unique personal circumstances, I don't understand why you'd click on a thread that is clearly going to rile you up and then tell the poster off for offending you. Again, this goes into emotional intelligence - it's not the job of everyone else to stay silent or stay within your own parameters of acceptability in order to keep you happy. You have to find your own means of coping, and give feedback in a reasonable manner that is proportionate to the situation.

Well it’s really a matter of opinion whether something is offensive isn’t it? So what you think is a comment without offence could genuinely be offensive to others. For example, many people on MN have or had no idea the phrase “throwing a paddy” was offensive. When it was pointed out, quite a few, like yourself, insisted it wasn’t offensive, people were being ridiculous/snowflakes etc.

How is ‘throwing a paddy’ offensive? You do know it doesn’t mean ‘throwing an Irishman’.

‘Paddy’ in this instance is a completely separate word...

There is a thread on the matter if you a would like to inform yourself. Called something like “is throwing a paddy offensive”. I’m not about to derail this thread because you’re too lazy to find out for yourself.

Is "paddy" not referring to an Irish person in that context? I always took it to be referencing a stereotype that Irish people have a temper or are hotheaded.

I didn't know there was a name for it, but I've seen it done.
'At least you still have a mother' seems mawkish on threads where the mother has done something awful.

There is a thread on the matter if you a would like to inform yourself. Called something like “is throwing a paddy offensive”. I’m not about to derail this thread because you’re too lazy to find out for yourself.

Ah ha ha! Fuck off 🙄

Paddy has three meanings,

1 tantrum
2 derogatory name for an Irish person
3 rice field.

‘Paddy’ in this instance is a completely separate word...
Exactly. I'm guessing some people have never heard of paddy fields for example (and no, they're not in Ireland!)

"When it was pointed out, quite a few, like yourself, insisted it wasn’t offensive"

I wasn't on that thread, and I don't use that word on here because I know people are going to get ridiculous over it.

In that sense i'm one of 'those people' who while English, has Irish family who think its hilarious that people take offence at it and even CALL themselves Paddy.

Ahh so this is sign in thread for the willfully ignorant. Good to know where to direct people.

no it isn't actually.. because I have the intelligence, having been here for ooh.. 12 years now, to know what its ok to say and not to say.

This thread is a general annoyance on talk board about Offence Fishing.. ie people taking a thread out of context to take offence at something that is completely ridiculous and obvious that the poster never meant.

But if you want to signpost yourself as one of those kind of people.. carry on!

@Squidgee I have several Irish friends and acquaintances, I even checked with a couple when I saw this mentioned on another thread... I don’t know anyone that find it offensive 🤷🏻‍♀️

Maybe it’s like how Muslims are offended by Christmas..? Except they aren’t....

Actually this is a thread for people who agree with you. Very clearly. Odd that you would post in AIBU when you’re not actually wanting anyone to say that you are.

I have several Irish friends and acquaintances, I even checked with a couple when I saw this mentioned on another thread.

Oh so you were pretending not to know how it was offensive upthread? Since you have clearly already encountered and discussed the issue.

I asked you how it was offensive, as in that phrase. It isn’t, as the word ‘paddy’ in that phrase had nothing to do with Irish people.

I then asked a couple of Irish people I know if they did consider the word paddy offensive, in the context of a word for Irish people. They don’t.

Are you deliberately trying to misunderstand in order to continue pressing your moot point?

You know how it's offensive, you’ve already seen it in another thread. you’d rather keep on using the term so have decided people are making up things that are offensive for no reason. If you genuinely don’t see how it’s offensive and are actually interested in finding out rather than dismissing it because it is irrelevant to you then go and read the thread. It’s all explained very well.

FWIW a few Irish people aren’t representative of all Irish people. Funnily enough, we all think differently.