To ask what your 10 year old boys do for fun?

[Talllila]

I'm a bit worried about my lovely ds, especially with the school holidays approaching.

He's doesn't have any close friends, his teachers say he's a popular member of the class, but he never gets invited to any friends houses (I've extended invitations but they're never reciprocated), even party invitations have dried up over the years. No kids nearby to play outside with.

He's useless at his chosen sport, as much as I love to see him do something he enjoys, other kids rib him for being crap, he never gets picked for the team, and it's awful to see him get knocked back.

He loves gaming but this is very solitary and makes him stroppy and aggressive.

He doesn't really have any other hobbies, he goes to cubs, has swimming lessons and plays a sport just for fun.

He's very sociable and energetic and I'd love to help him channel that into something.

Is anyone else in the same boat or have any ideas?

My son is 10 and also not very sociable. He loves lego, plays piano and wheelchair tennis. He also likes gaming, especially car racing games.

The class dynamic can make all the difference at this age, I think. Is there a class FB with other parents on? Are you in touch with any of the other parents, no matter how casually? You could put it out there by saying something like, “I’m thinking of letting DS out on his scooter but not alone; is anyone else up for going out with him?”.
You might have to take a class mate or two swimming or to the cinema or beach with him and do a bit of “groundwork” first before any reciprocation. It might be a grind at first, but you’ll hopefully identify a reciprocating parent and a little social network should form. Well, ideally. I know with my first son it was like getting blood out a stone, but with DS2, they all mingle and mix and match quite well.
If any mates come knocking (this is the age around which they start) invite them in if even only for a little bit, if DS doesn’t want to go out.
Anything like a trampoline or paddling pool might draw little friends around. We no longer have a trampoline, but we have the crappiest paddling pool and they do seem to like an impromptu splash about.
Is there a local youth centre doing sessions and activities nearby? It might be that he just needs a different cohort and that might be the place.
When it’s not easy, it’s not easy.

Also consider local kids who may be a different age to your DS. My DS’s best friend is a tiny little girl two years younger than him next door but two, who doesn’t even go to the same school as him.