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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To complain about midwife

42 replies

LG123 · 20/07/2018 22:57

Sorry for the long post. I've post this in the pregnancy section too but thought I'd get a range of opinions.

I have a new midwife now as I've moved areas but anyway here it is.....

My last midwife made a referral to social services (this isn't what I'm upset about) and I've had the assessment, they're happy etc and have closed the case.

I got my report through the post yesterday and wow let's just say the midwife went to town on me and made me sound horrendous. I was reading through the reasons for the referral and can categorically say that they were just untrue.

She made me out to be an alcoholic drug addict, and that this had made me have liver difficulties (I have never had liver difficulties and I have never taken drugs!). She said I had history of cocaine use (not true) and expressed concerns that my drug and alcohol use could have a harmful affect on the baby, as if I was still drinking during pregnancy etc. I gave her no reason to think this - I haven't had a drink since New Year's Eve (before I even knew!) and I told her this when alcohol use is bought up! She proceeded to say I had a chaotic upbringing - we didn't talk my childhood and I most definitely did not! I left home at 16 and partied a bit as you do when your young but prior to that I had very good upbringing!

To top it off when she told me why she made the referral this was not in her reasoning!

I would love to know where she fabricated this all from and SS could obviously see that I was making good preparations and not drinking or anything!

To see what she said about me was really hurtful and kinda made me angry as it's just simply not true!

I'm half tempted to complain!

OP posts:
Kintan · 20/07/2018 23:01

Why are you only half tempted to complain?! Very strange - has she got you mixed up with someone else do you think?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 20/07/2018 23:03

I would definitely complain and ask for a retraction. I wouldn’t want that kind of crap hanging around in my medical records.

SandyY2K · 20/07/2018 23:07

I was wondering if she's mixed you up with someone else.

In fact that's what I'd say... in making the complaint. Let them rectify this error.

LucyAutumn · 20/07/2018 23:09

Horrendoes. Off to PALs for you!

throwcushions · 20/07/2018 23:10

Definitely sounds like it's a mix up with someone else. Clearly important you raise it both to get it off your record and to ensure SS contact the other woman who may need help.

pastabest · 20/07/2018 23:10

Have you posted about this before?

Deshasafraisy · 20/07/2018 23:11

I think she has got you mixed with someone else.

Allthewaves · 20/07/2018 23:12

Have your records been mixed up with someone else's?

Imchlibob · 20/07/2018 23:12

The most likely thing is that she mixed you up with someone else - so it's very important that you raise this not as a complaint on your own behalf but this almost certainly means that there is a pregnant woman with drug and alcohol problems and a chaotic living situation who hasn't had the referral she desperately needs in order to get help and support from social services. For the sake of that woman and her baby kick up a stink until they track down what happened and make the correct referral.

Original poster
LG123 · 20/07/2018 23:13

I don't think she's got mixed up with someone else, just think she didn't like me as there were some generic things in there like SS looked after me when I left home at 16, a whole 10years ago! She mentioned I'd missed a 'number' of antenatal appointments, I missed 2, 1 I forgot whilst I was at work and the other I had tried to rearrange with her but she took weeks to get back to me and I could never get hold of her. She's all in all been quite difficult to deal with. I really think she just didn't like me at all!

I say half tempted because I never complain about anything and wonder if it would actually get anywhere.

OP posts:
PitterPatterOfBigFeet · 20/07/2018 23:15

That sounds bizarre - are you sure you haven't been confused with someone else? Perhaps she was making two referrals and got you confused in her write up? (Which would still be pretty unprofessional). I think it does need flagging up if the information is completely false.

jazzyfizzles · 20/07/2018 23:15

You're entitled to choose your antenatal care, change midwife and complain about her

PitterPatterOfBigFeet · 20/07/2018 23:15

X-post

Guardianreaderformysins · 20/07/2018 23:17

You absolutely should complain

Original poster
LG123 · 20/07/2018 23:20

@pastabest I had posted prior to the assessment to get advice yes. This is because I have just received the report which has had bits and pieces from the midwife I'd never heard before! Such as concerns for my unborn baby as if I'm still drinking, liver difficulties, about my upbringing etc. The reason for my reposting is seeing an in-depth report of the things she has said about me.

OP posts:
Original poster
LG123 · 20/07/2018 23:21

@jazzyfizzles already changed as moved area.

OP posts:
Original poster
LG123 · 20/07/2018 23:21

@PitterPatterOfBigFeet

X-post?

OP posts:
Bambamber · 20/07/2018 23:23

Seems strange that she would go to such lengths just for taking a dislike to you, especially considering things like previous liver difficulties can easily be checked you can be tested to rule out drug use. I would complain so it can at least be investigated to find out what on earth is going on

melse2964 · 20/07/2018 23:26

Yea definetly complain she sounds like a stupid cow

Original poster
LG123 · 20/07/2018 23:27

That's a good point, I know full well that there is no liver difficulties in my medical records as I've never had any and well a drug test would show no use whatsoever!

I just don't understand it, reading it was really surprising and as I've said quite hurtful!

OP posts:
BrazzleDazzleDay · 20/07/2018 23:41

Oh I would complain and some.

With my first dd the senior midwife had great jollies making shit up about me. I promise im very what you see is what you get, no drugs, no alcohol, just youngish 22 and single, but she made my life hell.

Google glasgow midwife catholic abortion if you fancy a look into her outlook.

PitterPatterOfBigFeet · 20/07/2018 23:52

(Sorry X-post just means I posted before seeing your update). It just sounds so odd that factual points like liver issues would be there when surely any medical staff should be able to see you have no liver problems. I would definitely complain. What do you actually think happened? She just thought you seemed irresponsible and invented an entire narrative to fit her judgement?

Jamiefraserskilt · 20/07/2018 23:55

The report is factually incorrect. You have a right under gdpr to have this corrected. Keep your complaint factual and answer each statement with facts and proof if you have it. Definitely complain. This sort of shit hangs round for years.

Original poster
LG123 · 21/07/2018 00:07

@BrazzleDazzleDay that sounds terrible! I might just have to have a sneak peek at Google.

@PitterPatterOfBigFeet ah yes of course, cross post... forgive me it's late haha! Sounds mad but yes - it's the only scenario I can think and she's been pretty shocking since day dot but everytime I tried to change midwife I was just told she was the only one - then when I phones the GP surgery today to ask how I complain they told me call Monday and speak to one of the other midwives! Hmmm I'm sure when I tried to see someone else I was told she was the only one! Also as for the liver issues, pretty sure at least one doctor in my life would have mentioned I'm having liver difficulties so this is definitely fabricated!

@Jamiefraserskilt what do you mean it hangs around for years!?

OP posts:
Jackyjill6 · 21/07/2018 01:46

Is it possible that your blood results showed some liver abnormalities that you may not be aware of? Obviously they should have been discussed with you if this was the case.
It may be worth checking out with the surgery.