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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about school showing this movie

303 replies

TGISummer · 20/07/2018 22:20

DD is in Y8. Yesterday she came home upset saying that her class had watched a horror movie...she can be a bit of a drama llama so asked her what the film was:

The Purge.

BBFC/UK - Rated 15 (strong language, bloody violence).

She's just turned 13. Came home and told my younger DD and DS various graphic details. I asked her why she didn't say anything...she did, the rest of the class said it was fine and she should shut up.

I phoned head of year and (politely) asked why would you do that??!! She seemed surprised and said will get Teacher to call and explain. Felt a bit fobbed off but thought ok, will see what he says. No phone call from Teacher.

DD came home today, they watched another film:

Paranormal activity. Another rating of 15.

Seriously??!!!

I know it's just end of term movie watching but what would you do?

OP posts:
SinisterBumFacedCat · 22/07/2018 22:40

Sunshades your typo was actually accurate, many 23 year olds would watch those films without issue, but many 23 year olds wouldn't enjoy it at all, or 33 year olds, 43 year olds etc. However they wouldn't have found themselves stuck in a room having to watch it and would choose to walk out of that room or not be stuck in there in the first place. Not all adults like or enjoy horror movies and finds them unpleasant to watch, it doesn't reflect on how they were raised it's their personal tastes, exactly the same for kids. It's a shame you only consider 13 year olds significantly desensitised to violence as worthy of an education at your DPs school, must be a truly terrify establishment.

Bibesia · 22/07/2018 23:35

You know what, SunShades, good schools can deal with issues around abuse and neglect at the same time as dealing with lazy teachers who let pupils choose obviously unsuitable films and inflict them on the entire class. The safeguarding staff would have to be spectacularly incompetent if that were not the case.

SunShades · 23/07/2018 12:56

Actually, @Bibesia, at DH's place, the same member of the Senior Management Team who deals with trivial parental complaints such as this also deals with safeguarding and child protection issues. So, sillly complaints like this take away from the time she has to deal with child abuse cases.

However, DH encourages her to report all trivial complaints such as this to him so that he can deal with the parents. This can result in a managed transfer for the DC if he feels their parents are being uncooperative or refusing to support the school.

DH's school has one of the highest staff retention rates in the country, largely because he'll always back up staff members against complaints from parents.

pumpkinpie01 · 23/07/2018 13:01

This is shocking , I can’t believe a teacher would do that ! I remember when my daughter was 11 ( she was the youngest in the class) and the teacher wouldn’t put a12 certificate film on

Frogscotch7 · 23/07/2018 13:13

OP yanbu. As “99.9%” of posters have confirmed. Good luck with pursuing your reasonable complaint. Maybe it will prevent this happening to future children.

Rainfallrainbow · 23/07/2018 13:17

Sunshades, as a teacher I can’t believe that your dh would take this stance? Showing a film like this completely warrants a complaint! It’s certainly not ‘silly’ and if a safeguarding concern came up, that would take priority and another staff member would pick up this complaint!

Bibesia · 23/07/2018 13:53

SunShades, does your DH work in the UK? Because you can't arrange a managed move without parental consent, and any other school would laugh at you if you tried to do one purely because a parent had raised the issue of 13 year old children being shown 15 certificate films.

Lifeiscrazy · 23/07/2018 17:28

Hi- you need to complain to OFSRED about this... they’re is NO WAY they should have been watching either of those films !!! YANBU at all. It’s diagustaing (and I like horror films - but I am 44!)

Lifeiscrazy · 23/07/2018 17:29

Both of these films are very violent and scary.

Mrseft · 23/07/2018 17:31

I’d be annoyed about that. What people choose to show their kids at home is up to them, but in schools the age certificates on films should apply. I’d submit a written complaint. It was inappropriate.

RuthW · 23/07/2018 17:32

I would be writing to the head and governors and ‘safeguarding’ would be in there somewhere.

SunShades · 23/07/2018 17:35

My DH would reply with transfer papers to another school if he was the head you wrote to @RuthW .

BlondeVolvo · 23/07/2018 17:41

Both these films terrify me - I’m 36!!!!

Rn1986 · 23/07/2018 17:43

I'm 32 and those films scare me. I would be livid.

Littlenic73 · 23/07/2018 17:45

Totally inappropriate to show 15s to a class of 13 year olds. When I worked for a language school we were only allowed to show films for the age of the youngest kids (U or PG mainly, some 12s). My kids' school texts the parents in advance to let them know and get permission for PGs even with years 5 and 6.

Braeburns · 23/07/2018 17:46

I agree - that film is inappropriate for the age group and YANBU. There will always be a mix of kids in the class, some of whom haven't been exposed to any thriller/horror and the school should not breach the guidance.

I recall at age 11 kids bringing in Lost Boys (R15 UK) and House Party to watch at end of year. Teacher vetoed House Party but we all watched Lost Boys. Probably wasn't suitable although did contribute to my love of Keifer Sutherland.

Littlenic73 · 23/07/2018 17:48

I'd also be petrified by a horror, regardless of the age. My husband tricked me into watching Alien 4 the resurrection with him at the cinema abroad, by telling me it was a film about foreigners (same word 2 meanings). I was too embarrassed to walk out once I realized.

AnotherDayAnotherName745 · 23/07/2018 17:49

Another vote for this being completely inappropriate for many reasons:
The age certification is for a reason, and showing a film to younger DCs should be by exception, after v careful thought, and in the case of a school, with specific parental permission IN EACH SPECIFIC CASE.
There's no real way to justify 2 days if watching poor quality films anyway, even if they'd been age appropriate - schools should be finding something decent for them to watch if they must sit them in front of something for hours (which is questionable in itself).
There is an additional issue raised, which is their general judgement of what is appropriate for pupils of a particular age..if they'd pick those films for 12-13 year olds, what else are they seeing/hearing at school that is not at all age appropriate?
The fact that you range with a complaint, and they didn't get back to you, and showed another similar film shows an awful response to a concern raised, and against, raises wider concerns around what would happen if a child raised something that was really worrying them (as in, maybe nothing!)

stoplickingthetelly · 23/07/2018 17:50

I'm a teacher and often think a lot of parents on here over react to many school issues. However, in this case I think you are 100% justified in your complaint. What on earth was the teacher thinking! For a year 8 class they shouldn't be showing anything more than a 12 and even then with caution. Probably safer to stick with a PG at this age.

3out · 23/07/2018 17:51

I’d be absolutely furious. Once is bad enough, but showing two horror films?! I’d be writing to the Head, and if I wasn’t satisfied with the response then I’d be emailing the Director of Education. I’d be annoyed even if these films were shown to any of our kids once they were 15 or older in school time.

flowergrrl77 · 23/07/2018 17:53

And yet, @Sunshades due to various moves and SEN for some of my children, I’ve had to deal with 5 schools so far, every single one obtains written permission for a PG! With some children actually not being granted permission and having to leave the room and do something else!

If @Sunshades happens to be one of the teachers/somehow related to
Someone involved, then go above their heads, OFSTEAD, the local authority, the lot tbh! My 13 yr old had to get written permission for his class to watch a 12.

There are 12’s I’ve let my 10 yr old watch at home, and there are 12’s I won’t let my 13 yr old watch! As the parent I can vet and decide what’s ok myself. I know my 13yr old and what he can/can’t deal with at his age. Same with my 10. It’s NOT the schools place to tell kids to LIE to their parents! HUGE safeguarding issue.

TammySwansonTwo · 23/07/2018 17:54

What?! I’m 36, and I couldn’t watch Paranormal Activity.

Strongmummy · 23/07/2018 17:56

Totally inappropriate films. Complain

WestleyAndButtockUp · 23/07/2018 17:57

It's not two horror films; it's one horror film and one very violent film. Both inappropriate for 12/13's.

Strongmummy · 23/07/2018 17:59

@sunshades, oh do fuck off and go back to working in your imaginary office that you patrol hourly to ensure employees aren’t eating at their desks. You’re a tool. MNHQ - I understand you may delete this, but I had to say it 🤣