To worry so much about clingy DS

[cadburyegg]

DS is 3.5. After I went back to work from maternity leave we were lucky enough to have grandparents doing childcare so he was either with me or DH or a grandparent. I really thought this was the best thing for him, so he didn’t start any formal childcare until he started nursery last September. He does one day a week.

He still cries and rages at every drop off. He is the ONLY one that does this, even the younger ones don’t get upset. All the way there in the car he says “turn the car round Mummy” “I want to go home” etc. Throughout the week he tells me he doesn’t want to go to nursery “I want to be at home with you mummy”. We have always been positive about nursery and talked about it a lot whilst at home.

I have just increased his hours to 2 days a week in the hope that this might help him settle if he’s there more but I don’t know if this is the right thing. The nursery staff say he has a good time while he is there but he never rushes up to us in excitement when we get there at pick up time, he just looks cross that he has been left.

All my friends who have kids tell me how much they love school/nursery!! Why is DS seemingly the only one who doesn’t? I worry so much that he will never settle in school when he goes in 2019. AIBU?? Am I going to have to prise him off me every morning in Reception? What else can I do to help him?

Some kids are like that, today I carried ds who's 4 kicking and screaming into nursery. My sister was the same until 6. They've seen it all before

I have the opposite. DS is so unclingy he wont even hold on and goes like a limp bag of spuds when he's being carried. If we stick them bith together maybe we'll get the happy middle 😁

I know it sounds counter intuitive but my friend had a smilier issue and actually slightly upped her DD's days but reduced the hours so she went every morning - it seemed to get her DD used to it and settled not staying too long meant she could cope. This too will pass he will eventually get used to it. I would also check the nursery is a good fit for him and perhaps help in with the transition itself. Me and DS used to have this bit we'd do where I'd tell him I was sending my love with him and we'd talk about what colour it was today. It can also be helpful to do role play at home - e.g. you play him and he plays you and he has to drop you off at nursery even though you're nervous etc.

How do you leave him? The nursery I use were really tight on the best way to leave your child in the nursery; so a quick kiss and goodbye and walk away without taking too long and drawn out goodbyes.

Otherwise I think you're doing the right thing, a few more hours could do the trick. It's definitely worth a go. Good luck

I think it might be an age thing as well. My DD is the same age as your DS and has been really clingy lately. She’s been going to the same nursery for a year and a half and has always been happy to go. At the moment she has no problem going to the nursery so I know there’s nothing wrong there but she will cling to my leg as soon as we’re about to enter her preschool room. She says she’s being shy and will hide behind me. She’s not shy in the slightest and is very sociable but I can see she feels a bit overwhelmed. I’m pretty sure it’s just a phase of development as they are now becoming the most grown up of the group and learning quite a lot. Personally I’m trying to spend a bit more time when I drop her off so it doesn’t feel too sudden when I leave. Also the staff is very good at trying to involve her in doing something so she doesn’t feel like she’s left on her own when I leave.