She has always been time-demanding, she’ll text throughout the day and will get upset if she’s not included in things. Then when she’s in a relationship, she goes quiet. She went through a messy breakup which involved us texting every day and speaking on the phone for hours each night. I’d then go to see her at weekends or she’d visit me and I involved her in everything, she even came along on mine and DH’s anniversary break (although she wasn’t technically invited). She’s not had any other friends since I’ve known her but has recently started a new relationship and has quickly become friendly with her other half’s friends.
Before this relationship started, she wanted to go on a ‘girl’s holiday’. So we discussed the dates we couldn’t do, mine was just one week that I absolutely couldn’t get off work, and then agreed a date and both booked the time off work. We discussed places to go and settled on somewhere she wanted. It then turned out that the date we’d chosen clashed with an important work trip DH had to attend so I spoke with her to try and move it but she stressed how difficult it was for her to change dates so we stuck with it and DH had to tell his employer he couldn’t attend (we have no one to help with DC for that long a period).
Then she meets her new man and all goes quiet. I keep checking the holiday prices and letting her know it’s going up slightly every week. When she finally gets back to me she says she no longer wants to go to this place because her new man has been and says it’s awful and it’s now too expensive. Ok I say and begin looking for a new destination.
Whilst I’m doing that, she asks if he and his friends can come along. I say I’m not that keen on the idea as I don’t know them so she says that she’ll have to do two holidays and can’t afford that so might have to cancel ours unless they can come along. So I agree.
I then find a new destination in budget, find the flights, hotel and even excursions for us to do. She says it looks ‘ok’ but isn’t sold on it so I carry on looking. I stress that we’re getting close to our going away date and should book something so we agree to sit down on the Friday and book it together.
Friday arrives and she’s a no show. I then get a text on Saturday saying that her and the others have booked the holiday I found but for the one week in the year I’d said I couldn’t go. I replied in disbelief asking why she would exclude me and she then got annoyed with me for putting her in a difficult position. She ignored me for a few weeks, during which time the holiday happened and she updated every single detail on social media with #bestfriends etc.
After ignoring me for a while she text asking me for advice for her new man regarding a medical problem (I’m a nurse). I was reluctant to help so suggested he see his GP. She then didn’t stop and turned back to being friendly again asking how I am etc so I gave a lengthy reply to try and help plus asked some general questions about her and how she is and she never bothered to reply.
She then did it again. Text me for more advice for him, ignoring my last text.
I’m still so annoyed about the holiday and that I’ve stuck by her for so long and helped her so much and it seems like she doesn’t value my friendship at all. It all feels so dramatic and petty, on the one hand I want nothing more to do with her but at the same time it seems silly to throw away a friendship.
What do you think?