To think I'm a sibling not a parent

[outdoors41]

To my brother.

Back history. Me bro & sis..me and bro both disowned when younger for different reasons. My sis has a great relationship with our dad.
I get on well with my bro but not my sis.
I would like to think I've done ok..working, house children etc. My brother decided to live in a tent many years ago and it's been awful on and off for years.

We have this yo yo of behaviour that is him happy while he has money then when it runs out all the poo hits the fan.
He's either earned money by working or been lucky that family have employed him.
He's decided workings not for him and 'his time has come to go'
My sisters beside herself as am I but we clearly deal with this in a different way.
She's not been particularly nice about it all and is obviously able to take time off at last min unlike me which making me feel like I'm not helping which I am trying.
We've had an attempted suicide in the past and quite frankly I'm at my wits end...I don't know what to do? No one wants to intervene as he says he's fine, no one can make him take the help which incidentally he refuses time over time again.

Can anyone advise who we would call first? This hasn't happened for quite a while so I'm out of the loop on what's best to do..
Frustrated

Has your brother spoken to you about this directly, as there seem to be conflicting statements from him?

Hi, no he hasn't. He always says he's very happy with how he lives.
The pattern goes like this

Lives in his tent and has up until now had funds

Runs out of money and we hear nothing (this is limited at times anyway due to him being in the wild)

We panic and try and step in..get him re homed/but bits for him and he walks a few weeks down the line back to the outdoor lifestyle

So, where are you getting your information from?

Is it possible just to speak to him? Low-key - 'X says you're talking about Y. Is that right? Is there something I can do to help?'

My sister has told me.
We've both had no contact with him for a while hence the worrying and she tracked him down. His mobile doesn't work so we can't speak to him unless we go to the woods which isn't very practical

It sounds really hard, I'm sorry you're feeling so lost. You're brother is an adult I presume, so maybe the time has come to not intervene. His lifestyle may be unconventional but if he says he's happy maybe just let him get on with it.
Let him know you are there if he needs you but continually fixing things for him may be part of the problem rather than the solution.
You can put him in touch with mental health services but you can't force him to engage sadly. Living wild isn't a crime if he's happy doing so and is self sufficient there is little you can do.

So, however your sister has spoken to him, that's what you should/could do. It's up to you whether you do.

I'm going to sound harsh, but I've had a similar experience with DH's family. You can only do so much for them, and there comes a time when you just have to accept that you've done all you can and you have to walk away. Leave the door open, tell them you will always be there if they need you, but you cannot do everything for them.

If you are able to reach out to your brother, then do that and ask him if he needs any help or support from you. But personally I wouldn't intervene unless he asks for something specifically. You can lead a horse to water and all that. Tell him you're there if he does need you, but he has to learn to ask for help himself. If that's what he wants.

I'm a bit confused.

By 'he says the time has come to go' do you mean that he has decided to kill himself or to move on somewhere alone?

If it's the former, I could never just not intervene?! Do you know exactly where he is? Will he tolerate someone being with him? Could you call a mental health crisis team?

If it's the latter then I guess there is nothing you can really do to stop him but, as you say you get on well, I would at least express your feelings - say you care about him and value having him in your life.

Thanks for your replys..I had such a horrible response from my sister I was worried what everyone was going to say.
Yes he's an adult and this has been a long term thing so I don't know what the solution is

Manic, he can only put up with people for so long..then he literally just ups and leaves.
Hes adamant he doesn't want help and various people have offered yet yes I'm assuming he means it's his time to die. However turn the table and out money in his account and he's back to his cheery self..can anyone diagnose what's happening there?

The diagnosis is that he's manipulating you and your sis. If money stops him feeling suicidal then he's not suicidal.

If he really was he would just do it, not talk about it, announce it, play on it, use it to manipulate the situation etc. Signpost him to mental health services, feed him but do not give him money