DH's fear of flying is rubbing off on me

[catgirl1976]

I am not scared of flying. I have the odd worrying thought before a flight but I think most people do.

DH on the other hand is terrified of it.

We usually get the Eurostar and trains when we go on holiday but this year (tomorrow!) we are going to Italy and it just seemed too much of a PITA so we are flying.

DH has beta blockers so he will be ok but his fear is rubbing off on me and now I'm nervous. We will be flying into a thunderstorm according to the weather forecast and now I am really bricking it.

AIBU to ask some calm-headed MNers to calm me down and tell me sensible things. Especially any MN pilots / air crew people

Download Flightradar24 and you will see the huge number of planes in the sky at any one time! It makes me feel safer when you look at the volume of planes travelling and landing safely every day.
Also tell yourself the pilot probably has a family he wants to get home safely to.
I think the more you fly the less you worry.
I used to be quite nervous, esp after 9/11 but am not so much now. Do quite a lot of flights and don't want to show any nerves in front of the kids as I'd hate them to become fearful.
Good luck.

Neither my husband or I are particularly keen on flying but didn't want our children to miss out so we do fly. Rescue remedy helps enormously- the drops or the gum. I also take books, music etc all to keep me occupied. Italy will be worth it, it's beautiful! I hope you have a fab time!

Thank you both.

The flight website is a good idea! Millions of planes. All day, everyday. All fine.

It might be too late to arrange but my GP gives me diazepam. Precisely 4 per year for my annual holiday. I actively look forward to my flight now

You are safer on a plane then you are in innumerable everyday situations that you never give a second though - driving, crossing the road, walking down the stairs, sleeping.......you are safer on a plane then you are at home.

Flying is one of the safest modes of transport. It is well known that you are more likely to die whilst travelling to and from the airport than on the plane. The amount of mid air emergencies that happen and the plane lands safely should be reassuring, a lot needs to happen before the plane is in trouble. Just enjoy the holiday and if all else fails imagine you are on a bumpy bus

Than!

This is helping

Diazapan sounds fun though

I developed a fear of flying a few years ago, for no apparent reason. I was taking 10-15 flights a year.

Four things helped me!

• thinking about the fact that this flight had taken off the day before and the day before that and so on. Same route, every day. And during those days when I was happily going about my life, I wasn't even slightly concerned about it crashing when I thought about it making its journey. Obviously different when you're on it but I knew that my flight would not be the exception amongst the thousands of flights it took.

• sitting on the train en route to airport, I once shut my eyes and felt the extreme bumpiness. I thought that if this had been turbulence, I'd have been scared- but no difference of course. So with turbulence, I think of the train

• music! This helped a lot. I'd put my headphones on and play upbeat music from the point if taxiing. It honestly makes it all a lot less sinister

• a couple of in flight g&ts

Have a great holiday

Thank you

Four good points! Especially the

I saw this programme a while back and found it very reassuring - the care and attention given to each plane to ensure its airworthiness is astonishing.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=x_yHtfGH0nI

There's a marvellous thread here, with a very helpful MN pilot:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2985884-To-be-afraid-of-flying

Your husband needs to grow some balls

I have become more nervous too as I have got older!

I find that a stiff gin shortly before then headphones with a good podcast and an eyemask work wonders. I also find it really helps to watch the cabin crew - they're so relaxed and calm, it makes me realise it's just a very routine thing that they do all the time and don't even think twice about. Always reassures me!

@ManyCrisps don't be an arsehole. Lots of people experience fears and phobias, and this thread isn't about OP's DH since he has found a resolution to his problem.

Jesus , there’s always one
Why be rude ManyCrisps ? I’m genuinely interested

I used to work on aircraft and i can assure you we all are very careful to do things correctly, everything is checked and re-checked.

Aircraft have a huge level of redundancy built into them, if an engine quits, the aircraft can still climb on the other, if a hydraulic system quits, there is a backup.

I fly regularly on fixed wing aircraft and also on helicopters and its safer than the cab ride to the airport.

These are all really helpful thank you (apart from mini crisps - DH has sorted something and it's the one thing he's scared of. I'm sure you may have some irrational fears and I hope people are kinder to you than you are to others).

One word.Valium. I have it from gp whenever I go on holiday,it's calming but you don't feel unable to function just more relaxed

I am a nervous flyer even though I fly at least every 6 months on average. I have found few things help:

• Researching about flying. For example turbulence is not really a problem to the flight at all and the reason why they want to avoid it is the comfort of passangers.

• Realising that flying is necessary if I want to go away from the uk as it is the fastest and often cheapest option for traveling to other countries. And as I want to go abroad I have to suck it up.

• Alcohol. Seriously never been as relaxed as after having 2 shots of vodka before a flight once. But don't over do the alcohol.

• If you are nervous you can ask the cabin crew about any concerns you have or let them know you are nervous flyer. They are always happy to explain and they always check on you after to make sure you are feeling ok. At least this has been my experience the few times I have had to tell them I am very nervous flyer.

• Entertainment. I always have music, films, tv shows and a book with me to keep me busy. Once quite a few years ago now the crew gave me one of those kids colouring book to do to help me keep my mind off things as I dont think I had anything with me that time. This was before you had smart phones and netflix. Really helped me on that flight.

There was an airline pilot ask me anything on here a few weeks ago. It was really interesting and comforting. Maybe find it and have a read? I thought it was great!

Think of this really, every pilot will have some family members they want to get back to, be that mum and dad, wife and kids, brothers and sisters, aunties etc.
Every air steward and stewardess will have the same.
Do you think they would do this job and keep flying if it wasn't safe?
They all want to get back home too, so will do whatever it takes to do so.

Helpful, ManyCrisps.

I would have suggested considering how many flights go safely every day but I see it's already been mentioned.

If weather conditions mean it's unsafe to take off, you won't take off. The airline will delay until it's safe.
I have flown in storms a lot and it's fine. At worst a bit if turbulence on take off and landing when you go through the clouds. Once you are above it, the flight will be smooth.

Ask your GP for diazepam. I take it before a flight even though I'm just nervous not panic striken. It makes me feel calm and serene (which also helps with the stress of the airport!)